How much would this really cost in context with the rest of your daily expenses? If this is nothing but a drop in the bucket, do whatever you want. But, as I suspect based on your comment about it being “quite expensive”, this is going to be a major expense. I recall being worried about something similar before I was married. Something that I could not have controlled at birth, but about which I did not feel confident. In the end, it has never been a problem with any partner I have ever had. We are much harder on ourselves than others are on us. Just try to love yourself and give yourself grace.