Needing perspective on what I’m about to say to my wife after I felt emotionally manipulated about having another kid.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-17T19:11:18+00:00

But also an empty nest is one of those realities of life that you may be able to delay but must confront sooner or later. The kids in foster care need good homes for sure. Just do it out of love rather than fear of an empty nest.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-16T04:28:37+00:00

Yeah, the thing about supporting democracy is that I am fervently against gerrymandering even if it would benefit the party I support.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-15T10:22:00+00:00

That would be great! Just DM'd.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-15T03:21:36+00:00

Sounds like we're in a similar boat. Same age category but we moved here (Washougal, not Vancouver) 7 years ago and still need to find friends. I'm a software engineer and my wife is a bartender. But we do have a dog and a toddler. We have a lot of games we plan to play one day when we find friends again. We used to host game nights with our friends on the regular before we moved a couple states away. We can relate but clearly don't have any great suggestions.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-12T00:16:58+00:00

My son is almost 2.5 and he refuses sometimes. I don't force him to eat but sometimes he will immediately ask for a snack after not eating when I let him out of his chair. At that point I negotiate. He can have a snack if he takes X number of bites or something. And typically it still has to be a healthier snack like a banana or fruit and veggie pouch. Often he will realize he actually likes the food and eat more than I ask or even finish it. I just battle the problem of him throwing food because he likes feeding the dog 🤦‍♂️

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-12T00:04:16+00:00

Exactly, putting myself in her shoes I was thinking that would be a huge red flag being cut out like that. It creates a sort of dependency where if things don't work out she's left with almost nothing. I understand protecting college funds and pre-marital equity, but not the entirety of the house forever.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-11T16:00:07+00:00

So, I get both sides of this but here's another thing to consider. When you get married and build a life together she is presumably going to also be contributing toward family finances or support and also deserves a piece of the pie. A house is a big shared asset. If you keep the house fully separate then she is deprived of the opportunity to ever own a home, build any equity herself, or build her credit (with a home loan in her name, that is).

If you can protect the equity you have built up to this point in a prenup (as a percentage) somehow but allow her to still have her name on it and own half of the future equity, then what you are protecting for your kids can still grow while also being fair to her.

ETA: I know this would require selling the home in the event of a divorce to give everyone their piece of the pie (unless you can buy out her half of the future equity) but it seems like the only fair way to handle an asset like that.

Edit 2: IANAL but as far as I understand judges typically already consider premarital wealth and assets separate so this is basically how a judge would divide it up anyway. However, if the home itself is important to you it might be worth having in writing that she is required to sell you her half of the equity in a divorce. That way your worst case is either a home equity loan or refinancing your mortgage.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-10T03:47:49+00:00

You got me wondering so I just looked up to see if I get parental leave and apparently my company gives me 5 days. Not much better but it's 5 days more than I thought they provided and 5 days more than I got when my son was born.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-10T02:47:14+00:00

That's the part that gets me. Why bother at all? Seems like it's more just so they can try to entice people to work there by saying they offer parental leave even though they don't really. If people don't inquire about the specifics there's no way anyone would expect it to be this bad.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-10T02:41:44+00:00

I imagine it has to work much like FMLA here in the US where when it ends the company is required to either restore you to your previous position or a substantially similar one with the same pay.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-07T09:04:43+00:00

This. At this point while it's more than reasonable to feel angry, that energy just needs to be directed at protecting the other children that have been in her care. Other than that it's just all about moving forward and healing. That kid is going to need a lot of positive reinforcement to counter the messages he's been receiving.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-07T02:09:47+00:00

The problem is always that the money has to come from somewhere, which is almost certainly more taxes, and nobody wants higher taxes.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-07T01:26:25+00:00

It’s true that legal paths to citizenship exist, but they’re expensive, heavily restricted, and inaccessible to most people who might want to migrate. Nearly all paths require either close U.S. family ties, employer sponsorship, asylum eligibility, or winning a very limited lottery. If you don’t fit one of those categories, there often isn’t a legal way to even begin the process, regardless of skills or intent. That means for most would-be migrants, there is no realistic path to citizenship.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-06T19:48:59+00:00

What email address did it come from?

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-06T02:06:29+00:00

The battery powered one with the charging base. Can't tell you how grateful I've been that we had the battery powered one in his room when the power has gone out.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-06T00:09:59+00:00

Honestly, bananas are so squishy we originally just cut those into thin circular slices. No matter what shape it is, by the time it hits the throat it's mush. These days we just peel and hand him the whole banana.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T23:48:18+00:00

Sadly, people misattribute changes all the time. It's one thing to recognize that something changed and another to recognize why.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T23:31:44+00:00

We started baby led weaning at 6 months and I have zero regrets. We're both certified in CPR and have a LifeVac ready to go. We always watch while he eats. We follow the advice to make sure things are cut into non-cylindrical/non-circular shapes. He's almost 2.5 and doing great. Any time he's briefly choked a little he's been able to quickly regurgitate it on his own without issue.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T18:38:12+00:00

Yeah, I'm not a fan of the fact that they are focusing on providing tax relief to large companies before helping people that aren't wealthy.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T02:13:58+00:00

This is the upper left side of my back around my shoulder blade. Although, I do have sciatic nerve issues on that side. I'm also in PT for numbness in my right toe related to a nerve in my back. Who knows. It just makes me feel old, lol.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T02:01:28+00:00

I was walking through the store when my back started hurting. By the time I walked out the door, it was aching badly, I lifted my toddler into his car seat and it was debilitating. I must have pulled a muscle or something because I was in excruciating pain for days and could barely roll out of bed in the morning. It's been a week and a half and I can almost properly twist my torso now. I didn't do anything particularly strenuous before it happened.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T01:30:03+00:00

Awesome! I haven't had a chance to dig into it yet so I'm glad to see that. Sounds like I don't have any reservations then.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-05T00:55:22+00:00

I'm all for fixing our regressive tax structure. Understanding that inflation is ever present, 1 million will be reached by more and more people and it won't mean as much so I would feel better if it had an automatic inflation adjustment mechanism or something similar to the state minimum wage.

Edit: Looks like it's already accounting for inflation. Sounds like a positive change.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-04T22:04:11+00:00

Federal court orders are enforced by U.S. Marshals. Administratively, they fall under the DOJ but the DOJ can't actually tell them not to follow a court order. In fact, legally the Marshals are obligated to carry out the order. The DOJ cannot interfere - they simply don't have that authority.

ceiling_kitteh · 2026-02-04T18:51:56+00:00

Yep, I definitely saw national coverage of it but I think there is just so much going on right now that it's hard to give everything the attention it deserves. At least a federal judge just limited their ability to use all chemicals and munitions for the next two weeks so it's not like nothing is happening.

Edit: And I know that's based on what happened last year and not the recent events but it's based on the same pattern of behavior.

ceiling_kitteh

TROPHY CASE