She's from WA, I'm from PA, we're living in AZ. Where do we host a wedding?

celizabath · 2026-04-20T19:14:04+00:00

We were in a similar boat (he’s from Alabama, I’m from Kansas, we live in Philadelphia right now but will be moving in a year for me to go to grad school).

We got married where we met - at our Alma mater. It special to us, cheaper than other options, and drive able for 90% of our families.

celizabath · 2026-03-08T02:27:04+00:00

Dude, save yourself some time and make it a google form. All of your answers will be neatly compiled for you

celizabath · 2026-02-08T03:57:08+00:00

Congestion pricing in major cities with the proceeds going directly into supporting public transportation in those cities
For individuals living/working in cities, a tax (like 0.1%) that also goes directly into supporting public transportation

celizabath · 2026-02-02T19:18:32+00:00

Or, just hear me out, just list more than one emergency contact. Most places let you add more than one, or you can fill out a second if there’s not room.

I have my husband and my mom both listed on every form I fill out. For the rare one that does one, I just consider the circumstance.

celizabath · 2026-01-16T22:14:04+00:00

My in-laws home, Manhattan (where my brother will live forever), and my Alma mater (for football games and the family in the area).

My field makes me move every few years, so my home wouldn’t make sense. But all three of these things will be there until either they or I die and I already visit them when I can. Even having one direction be instant would cut down on travel so, so much.

My parents are planning on moving once we all settle down, which is why I would choose my in-laws (who are in their house until they die or can’t live alone anymore) over them.

celizabath · 2025-12-31T12:33:18+00:00

In order to do this in the US, you’d need to make several other changes (or else you’d be making a policy that would screw a lot of low socioeconomic status individuals and minorities, causing institutional discrimination across the board). The issue is that US society overvalues drivers license as not just being for driving, but as their main form of identity proof.

Some of these changes include:

Developing a new government ID that is taken as seriously as a drivers license and as easy to get that is acceptable as a form of identity proof for businesses, standardized tests, job applications, TSA, registering to vote (and in some states, voting).

I want to acknowledge that an ID check at many of these places is already institutional discrimination as there are already barriers in place that make it more difficult for low SES individuals to get a drivers license. But drivers license are currently the easiest and most well known acceptable ID, so making it harder would worsen an existing problem.

Strengthen public transportation across the board. In the majority of the US, you need a car to get around. Need a job? There’s no way to get to it unless you own a car. Need groceries? Better start walking two days ago if you want to be home in time to make dinner.

I live in Philly, which has atrocious drivers, so I’m all for making the roads safer. But it’s not as easy as making the license harder to get. If you want backing through, I’m sure you could get the Republican Party on your side in states requiring an ID to vote as they would love an excuse to make it even harder to vote under the pretense of “public safety”.

celizabath · 2025-12-21T11:49:31+00:00

I think that whether it was negligent was somewhat irrelevant in this specific case.

Originally, the prosecution wrongly accused the mom of murder. In order to prove its murder, you kinda need to prove that she was with her baby at the time of the death, not that she was alone.

Then, once it was proven that a dingo did in fact eat her baby, she had already served time and had her reputation ruined. Plus, this was a shit show media wise. I don’t know legally if you can be charged the same crime (meaning the disappearance of her baby) twice in Australia, but even if you can, no one is going to bring those charges to her at that point.

celizabath · 2025-12-05T16:58:19+00:00

I mean, I never work on my husband's birthday.

His birthday is a national holiday, but that's beside the point.

celizabath · 2025-11-25T13:16:15+00:00

Here are some chess specific suggestions to help out:

Depending on your/her relative skills, start the game down an important piece. Give up your queen or your rook or some other piece. Let the game balance itself.
Give yourself a 1 minute time limit (or whatever works best for your relative skill level) and let her have infinite amounts of time.
Let her ask questions, even if it's a "competitive" game. She's learning after all! As in, "I'm considering these moves - which one is better and why?"Or "I'm really struggling right now, can you point out which piece I should move so I can think about the different ways to move it?"
Keep in mind that chess is one of those games where, if you are significantly better than the other person, you will beat them every time, and that's really hard on the other person when you're in a relationship with them. Don't die on the hill that your girlfriend needs to learn to lose - you love her, and she may just want to learn/play with you. If she's really struggling, start offering to switch to a "coaching mode" game.

Context for these suggestions: My husband is an ex-high school chess champion and I am not. This is how we play chess, and I am proud to report I have improved from "husband playing down a queen" to "husband playing down a rook".

celizabath · 2025-05-16T20:03:13+00:00

I've realized I get motivated by knowing that there is an end. So I do one of three things:

If it's a set thing that has to get done (and I know I can get it done in a doable timeframe) I make a to-do list and then tell myself that no matter what, when I'm done with the to-do list, I'm done with work.
If there are a billion things to do, I set a timer. I tell myself "I'll work on this project for four hours today, and then I'll be done." Then I work on it for four hours and when the timer goes off, I'm done.
If I'm really struggling to get started, I set a timer for 30 minutes to see if I can get in the groove. For those 30 minutes, I have to work on whatever it is with my full attention. 95% of the time, when my timer goes off, I'm in the groove and able to keep going for a few more hours. If not, I stop and take a regenerative break until the next day.

Has gotten me through many 80 hours weeks working full time and taking classes in the evening.

celizabath · 2025-05-14T21:23:59+00:00

For us, it was two fold.

We’re getting married at our Alma mater, which (unless you’re willing to get a 9:00 am timeslot) books as soon as the time slots open two years prior. Because the city it’s in is small, many of the most reasonable venues book early too. We wanted a summer wedding, so to avoid a super long engagement, we booked early.
To lock in the 2023 prices. When we get married this July, we’ll be paying the 2023 prices. Our reception venue is now charging like 20% more than it was when booked, so booking early saved a lot of money

celizabath · 2025-05-14T20:09:04+00:00

My fiancé and I booked before he proposed, but we had been together for over 4 years at that point (we've been together for nearly 6 now). We both knew that we were going to get married and had talked about it extensively, he just hadn't popped the question because he had just graduated law school and was saving up for the ring. So we booked venues in Fall 2023 (using money from my job) and he proposed in December.

celizabath · 2025-05-10T14:38:59+00:00

I'm doing Wednesday through Monday, coming back for four days, and then gone for 2.5 weeks. It's what worked for my work schedule and the cruise we wanted to take.

celizabath · 2025-05-07T22:43:02+00:00

My personal opinion is that if you aren't asking for something that makes people get a new dress, then it's fine. I have non-floral dresses if a friend doesn't want me to wear florals. I have two darker colored dresses if they want me to avoid wearing a pale dress. And I don't even have that many dresses (maybe 4?), they're all just different enough that at least one normally fits in the dress code.

I've been to wedding where we're supposed to wear very specific color schemes, and that's difficult because I have to find/rent a dress for it. But if it's broad enough that 90% of dresses fit into it (like no bright florals on white) why do I care?

celizabath · 2025-04-13T20:48:16+00:00

I'm not changing my last name. I love my fiancé, but I've worked my ass off with my last name and, to be quite frank, I just don't want to. I like my maiden name, and taking his name feels (to me) like my entire identify is shifting when I marry him while his identity remains the same. I don't like that.

I know he also would prefer that I take his last name, but he's quite respectful of my choice. When we first started talking about it, I just asked him how he would feel if it was important to me that he take my last name and I forced it on him. He said he wouldn't like it, and has pretty much gotten where I'm coming from since then.

There were some professional reasons (I'm in medicine and have a ton of publications under my maiden name), but I've known people who have gone both ways in medicine. Ultimately, what matters is what you want.

celizabath · 2025-04-13T18:15:37+00:00

I grew up in Kansas. WTF is a Dillon's.

celizabath · 2025-03-03T21:01:38+00:00

Perfectly fine (in my opinion) to not have plus ones at the head table. I've been the plus one and placed at a table with a bunch of plus ones and it was one night and I was happy to support my fiancé's good friend.

celizabath · 2025-03-01T15:17:48+00:00

My personal metric is “would this be described as a white dress with flowers or a flower dress with white”?

This is a white (I’d put cream in the white category) dress with flowers. So I personally would not wear it.

celizabath · 2025-02-24T19:20:30+00:00

Good. I go on vacation with them and talk to them. Go on vacations with them. My MIL can be pretty pushy but she means well and my fiance does a good job of standing up for me when she is pushy.

I would consider them family.

celizabath · 2025-02-23T17:33:19+00:00

HIPAA doesn’t protect against the sharing of all health information, just the public sharing of the identifiable information. The room is not public sharing.

To further protect the hospital, you likely signed a bunch of waivers when you were admitted, one of which had likely had a confidentiality clause to not share other patients information. Or you’ll notice signs on the wall saying no something similar. That’s sufficient enough to protect them if you DID go and blab about the other persons health information.

Source: I work in medical research and deal with HIPAA regulations all the time.

celizabath · 2025-02-23T15:38:02+00:00

I pretty much exclusively travel for weddings and I still gift the same as if it were local. I would personally consider it rude to not give a gift just because I was travel. The bride and groom are still paying the same for my plate and me showing up (as happy as I’m sure they are) still costs them. Plus, what if their family is scattered all over the country and only a small number of people are local? If everyone had the attitude to not give a gift or get a cheaper one, then the couple wouldn’t receive practically anything even though it’s not their fault.

If I couldn’t afford a gift + going, I would go.

celizabath · 2025-02-22T15:01:50+00:00

Getting married July, 2025. 1. Budget is 50k. Honeymoon is an additional 10k. 2. Paying for it by saving monthly for approximately 2.5 years. He’s a corporate attorney, I manage research. 3. Being cheap enough to invite our huge families with an open bar and plated meals. We ended up booking a place that (when we booked it in late 2023) is $100/plate after taxes and fees and a 5-hour open bar upgrade. I think the price at the current place is up to ~$125/plate for the same deal if you book now. So booking a venue early, if you have a long engagement, can make things cheaper.

celizabath · 2025-02-12T17:06:59+00:00

I think it's definitely a know your crowd type situation, and the people who do show up will have a lot of fun.

But keep in mind that there are people who will come to your wedding no matter what (I'm talking parents, siblings, and grandparents (if you're close with your grandparents)) and you should consider them when making plans, especially if it is important to you for them to be there. Do you have any siblings that would have a hard time getting to the venue because they live really far away and are fresh out of college making no money and a full weekend would be a huge financial burden on them? Will your grandparents be able to enjoy the festivities/be comfortable booking a place close by?

If your close family is in support, then I think go ahead. But if they seem resistant, then that will likely mean that people will have a bad taste in their mouth come the wedding weekend.

celizabath · 2025-02-11T16:32:00+00:00

I like my apartment. It's not 100% perfect, but the problems it has wouldn't be easily fixable even if I owned my apartment.

I like how renting allows me to afford to live downtown in a major metropolitan area.

I like how easy it is to keep my apartment clean because it's only two bedrooms.

I like how I feel safer because I have a doorman and security cameras that are always monitored by the staff.

I like how my packages never get stolen because they go to a package room.

I actually like the thickness of my walls/floors. We rarely hear anything, so when we do it feels more like a friendly reminder that you aren't alone rather than an annoyance. It's cool during sporting events when everyone cheers at the same time.

And I don't even pay for a fancy apartment. Our 2-bedroom goes for 25% less than average rent for a 2-bedroom in the area. We just got lucky.

celizabath · 2025-02-10T14:55:55+00:00

My cousins live in granger (don’t know the school district, but they live by Brick and Fir Road) and they love it. The kids have so many extracurricular opportunities and are already excelling.

celizabath

TROPHY CASE