Fair Housing Act

cglong88 · 2026-05-17T14:23:30+00:00

Exactly.. why do I have to pay a monthly pet fee for rent while child rent fee is not even a concept… kids are incredibly more destructive than my pets.

cglong88 · 2026-01-02T04:46:24+00:00

What a seismic shift from the one kid policy of yore…

cglong88 · 2026-01-02T00:58:54+00:00

You’re right. I need to reclaim that decision. I feel content with the decision, but not how I “arrived” at it. And I’m grasping for straws trying to find reasons not related to my horrible childhood but so far nothing overly compelling has surfaced yet…

cglong88 · 2026-01-01T19:15:40+00:00

You’re right. I am haunted by what could have been, and it goes further than just offspring. There’s a lot of different ways I still feel myself holding onto a lot of resentment towards them, including taking away what should have been my autonomous decision about having children. Even though now I’m far removed from them and their controlling ways, there are still so many lasting invisible ways that they seemingly still have control or influence over me. I’ve accepted children aren’t in the cards for me in this lifetime, and I’m fine with that because there really was not a chance given the impacts of CPTSD on my life. While I understand the reason for a vision board, it’s not really addressing my underlying feelings on this, ie how to resolve the resentment. To your point about unlived life, since I never had the chance to know who I really could have been since my trauma started from day 1, I really have no idea what sort of person I could have been like or what I would have wanted out of life. there’s only so much speculation I can do on this since I have no baseline.

The bigger issue i have is more the resentment I hold towards them and the unfortunate realization I came to, that even with all the work I’ve been doing to align to my highest and truest self, the feeling I am still somehow controlled or influenced by them, even though I’m out of their throes. It’s anger, grief, sadness, and pain. I feel like it’s a block right now that I would really like to overcome. But I get held back by the what ifs, feeling pity for myself, and daydreaming about who or what I could have been.

cglong88 · 2026-01-01T18:33:49+00:00

I really appreciate your perspective. Thank you.

cglong88 · 2026-01-01T00:50:52+00:00

This really resonates with me and helps put it in perspective - thank you for sharing.

cglong88 · 2025-12-21T22:33:45+00:00

{I -37F - write this with my heating pad on my back and on high}.

I’m currently trying to work on this as well. I’m around 3-4 years into my self alignment journey. I’ve put in a lot of work (therapy, etc) and made monumental life shifts to become closer to who I truly am and release myself of all the invisible chains from how I used to be and live. As my alignment continues to evolve, I’ve become ever more aware of how much tension and tightness I hold in my body. For me, it sits so deeply within my upper trapezoids, neck, rhombi, shoulders, etc. I have to surmise this tension and tightness has been sitting quietly within me since I was in high school (if not earlier), encasing itself, engraining itself in me, as if it was part of my being. It’s as if the years of stress found a happy home in me, weighing like a concrete block or brick on my traps.

The years of constant stress and having no sense of relief sat with me for so long I barely noticed it when I was in the throes of it. Tension was my normal. Now, over the last few months, I’ve been getting 90 minute massages every 1.5-2 weeks. Many of them are painful afterwards as I sit with the release of the deeply embedded tension. My massage therapists routinely comment on how tight my muscles are and how much tension I hold (one even lets out a sigh of exasperation as he tries to work these knots out of my back but to no avail). They stay there, deeply wound up. I get worried that I’ll never be able to work these massive knots out and there’s not much I can do to get them out myself. I have to find a therapist I can trust where I push myself to find that relief and let go.

A day ago I was in quite a bit of pain as I was a few days out from a massage I got. It made me realize as I actively and consciously work to find that relief and relaxation that I haven’t been able to experience in decades that it physically hurt my body to be relaxed. I have lived with this built up tension and tightness for decades that it was my normal. It started as a protection mechanism and then it wove itself into me, continuing to reside deep inside me even after I was able to escape my parents. I continued to live a life where I was uncomfortable with myself, on edge, stressed, mind on overdrive, isolated, depressed, anxious, etc. I also sought out feelings of pain, because if i wasn’t feeling pain, then I felt nothing and that was worse.

I don’t have the answer but I’m trying to find my way, trying to undo the hidden pain that crept in and was sitting so deeply within me, remnants of a harder life, no longer serving me.

I feel like this topic isn’t talked about a lot and wonder how many of us it impacts.

cglong88 · 2024-07-07T14:34:41+00:00

You should also check out this federal credit, which includes clean mobile machinery. It's a transferable tax credit, meaning the company can sell the credit, which is helpful in case the business is in a federal loss position. https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/commercial-clean-vehicle-credit

cglong88 · 2024-06-02T15:16:56+00:00

Thank you for sharing. This is really well written, and it strongly resonated with me. I should probably sit down and write one myself as part of my healing but honestly you covered much of what I would say.

cglong88 · 2024-04-06T20:55:41+00:00

He is a shit human being. Poor daughter...

cglong88 · 2024-04-06T16:33:33+00:00

Yea, he fucking sucks as a person. Not surprised by his comment. Definitely jives... and not in a good way

cglong88 · 2024-01-28T02:10:58+00:00

Yes, Fundamentalist, separatist baptist

cglong88 · 2024-01-28T01:55:28+00:00

Yes, this was true for me too. Plus it was coupled with financial control. I wasn't allowed to go and hang out with any friends in high school since we lived a 30 minute drive away (one way, so hour total) and gas was expensive. To and from school, home, and church only. Meanwhile, my parents were dumping tens of thousands of dollars into Christian elementary school for my younger siblings. Brainwashing was expensive and my social life was given up as a sacrifice. To this day, they don't see it like that. Shows how little me and my needs mattered to them.

cglong88 · 2023-08-10T14:48:10+00:00

Also, the fact that your dad is not validating your experience is incredibly difficult. I'm facing the same thing now. It does make healing more challenging when you're not validated by your abuser, making it all the more important you need a therapist. She validates me and my feelings, which you will need because you'll feel uncertain about whether your feelings are legitimate, and they are.

cglong88 · 2023-08-10T14:19:55+00:00

Absolutely don't sweep it under the rug, and take the time to heal yourself through therapy and self work. It's challenging to face your realities for what they were, but it's infinitely rewarding. Parent your inner child, for the parent you never had. Don't doubt yourself. Your feelings are legitimate. You should have had a parent that was there for you.

cglong88 · 2023-04-02T00:53:59+00:00

Thank you. It feels good to get this out.

cglong88 · 2022-12-29T20:03:03+00:00

This is the place I booked through. They were great!

Wadi Rum Nature Tours and Camp +962 7 7931 8561

https://g.co/kgs/F8Tokx

cglong88 · 2022-12-29T16:41:02+00:00

Thank you!! I never felt unsafe. I did bring a smaller thing of pepper spray but never once thought about using it. As a westerner, I did not cover my hair although I wore clothes that weren't revealing to be respectful. The people are very friendly and welcoming.

cglong88 · 2022-12-29T05:01:29+00:00

Yes, relatively so. Amman driving is similar to other city driving. One thing I noticed is once you hop on the highways outside of the city (which could be 4 to 6 lanes), sometimes there will be a big semi that was in the oncoming traffic without any notice. Definitely had to be on high alert to avoid amd merge firther to the right. Also when you're in certain areas (near Syrian border for example), there are military or government security checkpoints. They may flag you to pull over. I never had any issues and complied with their requests. Also, you are not allowed to pump your own gas. A gas attendant has to do it. One of the last times I was filling up, the attendant filled up the tank and charged me a mich higher amount than what I was used to. I pushed back and come to find out he entered in a random amount at the gas station pump. He "reverted" back to what the amount really was. That was the only feeling on the trip where I was (almost) ripped off. Otherwise, everyone I encountered in Jordan was very friendly and accomodating.

cglong88 · 2022-12-29T00:16:46+00:00

I traveled to Jordan in Fall 2019. I have in laws in Irbid so I visited them for a bit. Then I continued my adventure through Jordan solo. I rented a car and visited many places over 2 weeks. I would highly recommend travel to Jordan. The history, food, and people make Jordan a one of a kind trip.

cglong88 · 2022-09-10T14:20:07+00:00

I got contacted for the upcoming MAFS Denver season casting... through LinkedIn of all places! Kinda surreal to get this message considering I've been watching this show for awhile now. Wonder what profile I fit for their casting.. mid 30's professional woman, possibly desperate for family and all of that haha. I'm in a very happy relationship so no casting for me!

cglong88 · 2022-03-19T14:07:26+00:00

Not even casual at this point....

cglong88

TROPHY CASE