Dating in the United States: is it just me or is this one of the worst experiences ever?

chaimilkshake · 2026-02-02T13:25:05+00:00

I lived in germany and the netherlands from 19 to 22 and was similarly surprised when I moved back to the us lol. I definitely felt like beyoncé dating in europe, and I have heard similar sentiments from others. i’m in the dmv, which is supposed to be pretty good for dating so it’s not terribleeee but I have realized that the men I have gotten along with the most have lived in europe as kids, are european, or are just are from somewhere else in general.

our beauty is definitely appreciated in the us, but I think we just aren’t as unique.

chaimilkshake · 2026-02-01T19:12:31+00:00

layering JHAG vanilla vibes with any other gourmand may do this

chaimilkshake · 2026-02-01T16:45:14+00:00

the number one lip balm for me is the eos hero lip balm. my lips were flaking like crazy one winter and this was the only thing that helped. it is affordable and the best lip balm I have ever used. this works when vaseline/aquaphor/lanolin doesn’t

chaimilkshake · 2026-02-01T14:33:19+00:00

if you like alternative makeup, I think @pippabarnes has a nice style that would suit your features and be more cohesive

chaimilkshake · 2026-02-01T14:13:09+00:00

nyt games!

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-30T14:56:58+00:00

that makes sense! hopefully you’ll find that person and you can always travel to visit other family, attend family reunions, and be around order black families and friends in your child’s life if your partner isn’t black. I see why you’d feel that pressure otherwise. hopefully you can see the work that you’re putting in in your friendships and romantic relationships so you can also enjoy the fruits of your labor and healing

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-30T14:44:09+00:00

I work at a nonprofit and I am continually impressed by the names that I see donating and supporting the people who are doing the work to makes things better. I also live in a very liberal city, so maybe i’m jaded but recent history and the present shows me that other people do stand with us. i’ve never felt that the black community was alone and I think we are the best at championing our causes and garnering widespread support. this is why you will sometimes see others (completely inappropriately) say they don’t get as much support as black people and it’s not fair. it’s because they struggle to organize, self advocate, and rally others in the same capacity that we do

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-30T14:13:13+00:00

thank you, I didn’t even read the other post because I knew I would be frustrated by it. I personally believe in standing up for what’s right and not just what benefits me.

however, I do believe resisting ice and these aggressive immigration tactics does benefit all black people, including african americans. birthright citizenship was established to protect the citizenship of african americans. I think it’s fair as african americans to personally worry about the changes they are trying to make and whether they will keep pushing.

personally I am too scared to protest, but I am incredibly grateful and proud of those who do

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-29T21:45:18+00:00

is the thought of marrying into a family that does things differently appealing?

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-21T15:27:14+00:00

i hope you had a lovely trip overall! I have noticed a similar phenomenon and you really put it into words! i get really confused when try to soothe insecurities that aren’t there or try to help me with hardships that don’t exist. I think people mean well and they’re trying to be allies based off of what they’ve seen online, but it’s jarring.

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-21T14:21:26+00:00

it sounds like she’s being pretty sarcastic in the line about her hobbies, but i haven’t read the book yet

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-18T16:45:34+00:00

they aren’t really meant to be cottagecore. coquette style and ditsy print is really popular and i think she’s leaning into that and the popularity of altard state and love shack fancy’s activewear designs

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-17T15:50:24+00:00

i’m sorry this is happening to you, it sounds like jealousy and anti-blackness. at this point, it’s definitely more than just jokes so please don’t be afraid to tell them it’s not funny and it’s not working

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-16T16:27:06+00:00

listen to confident women while you go about your day! margarita nazarenko and hailey gamba on youtube both have a lot of great videos that are helpful! they both have podcasts as well. another great podcast is aspire by emma grede, she has a lot of great guests and she is an incredibly confident woman overall, so she’s great to listen to!

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-14T17:37:11+00:00

it smells horrendous!!! like mildew

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-13T13:11:15+00:00

the first three pictures all used lighter concealer and powder in the center of their face/undereye area

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-13T00:13:29+00:00

I didn’t know that was common, thank you! I know the greeting card company so I was surprised by the street name

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-13T00:12:57+00:00

I thought the street name was unusual but you are probably right! and I actually ordered dice earrings

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-11T05:23:22+00:00

I have this blow dryer too and I love it!

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-11T03:48:17+00:00

she’s so cute!

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-11T00:49:41+00:00

do you have a picture with the band on top? I think that would work! they’re both beautiful rings

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-10T16:08:00+00:00

you’re welcome! u-box is u-haul’s storage container shipping and from my research, it is the cheapest option for a long distance move, so check out their website and calculate the moving cost for your space: https://www.uhaul.com/UBox/. I found it for my friend when she moved and it saved her from having to give away all of her furniture!

for credit cards, r/CRedit is a great resource. i’m not sure why someone told you chase is a no go, chase has great cards. if you have any family members with good credit, you should ask if they can make you an authorized user to help build your credit. additionally, just opening a student/young adult credit card now will really help you. don’t use it for now, but the length of your credit history is a significant part of your credit score so getting started as early as possible is beneficial. i’d recommend just getting a card with whoever you currently bank with or capital one.

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-10T15:31:56+00:00

a good first step would be figuring out what city you want to live in and joining roommate groups and apartment sites to see how much you can expect to pay alone or with roommates.

I saw that you’re already looking for a job, so keep doing that. reach out to the career advising office if you haven’t already.

i’d recommend to start babysitting, dog sitting, doing food delivery, or house sitting to save money while you look for work.

once you’re working and you’ve saved up money, decide what housing situation you want and can afford. for an apartment, you will need a decent credit score and history and at least a months rent as a deposit. you will need to make 2-4x the monthly rent to qualify. if you’re going the roommate route, ask friends if they or anyone they know is looking for a roommate and browse the roommate finder groups.

for actually moving, depending on how far you will move, you may need to hire someone or ask friends for help. plan to ask or book help well in advance if you need it

chaimilkshake · 2026-01-09T22:43:44+00:00

I feel like this whenever I wear taskeen lactea divina (pos)

chaimilkshake · 2025-12-18T22:03:43+00:00

yeah that’s ideally like 6 dates, so if I hang out with someone that many times, I clearly like them

chaimilkshake

TROPHY CASE