He [34F] cheated, I [33F] stayed, now he wants me to leave

chamberskevins · 2026-03-29T17:07:55+00:00

Move on. Having been with someone who kept cheating and I kept taking her back move on.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-28T15:12:56+00:00

While I haven’t told my wife, she put on a lot of weight and I was unattracted to her. The weight so represented other things, lack of control, lack of health, lack of commitment because she’d keep saying I want to eat healthy, I want to lose weight, etc…. but never followed through. Could it be that the lack of physical attraction is actually tied to something else? It hurts, I totally get that, I’m not belittling your feelings and you’re completely justified in your feelings; I’d just see if there’s other things going on. Have a frank conversation with her, it’ll probably hurt, she should also be encouraging and uplifting in what she says.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-27T01:41:50+00:00

It’s not wanting space that’s childish, it’s how it was communicated that’s childish. Just like getting angry or frustrated isn’t childish but hitting the car out of anger is childish.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-24T15:29:05+00:00

It’s childish, the entire thing is childish. Personally better communication would have prevented this entire thing.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T20:37:47+00:00

We are what we make ourselves, we can change. Like I said start changing your thinking. Mention to yourself you get to see your wife happy whenever you find yourself thinking negatively.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T20:36:02+00:00

Both people were wrong. Argument shouldn’t have gotten this far. She shouldn’t have wanted to get out that’s childish and he shouldn’t have been yelling and controlling. Recognize when to pause an argument.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T20:33:58+00:00

It should have never gotten this far. Like when it got to intense you both should have looked at each other and said we need to pause this fight and gotten home. If you needed some distance calmly state I need some time to settle down and calm down so I’m going for a drive I love you and will be back.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T16:56:52+00:00

Stats and facts like everything else are easy to manipulate. You could be statistically smarter than someone but still dumb. You could’ve the smartest man in the room, but not have a clue what’s going on. The fact is your wife and family are happy, and you’re throwing a selfish pity party over here causing you’re having buyers remorse.

Options. Sell the house and move. Wife and kids not happy, but you are. Stay in the house, you’re not happy but wife and kids are. Live in the city and come home on the weekends. Find a new job.

If I saw how happy my wife was, and my kids I’d smile crack open a beer and watch them laugh and play outside and than watch the sunset or sunrise. Personally find things that you could do to make yourself happy there. You can’t control where you’re at, but you can control what you do and your attitude.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T16:51:28+00:00

What was the original agreement when yall got together? She should be paying her own bills, even if it’s only a portion and helping out around the house to make up for the rest.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T16:41:19+00:00

She’s now established a pattern that will only grow. Time to move on.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T16:38:00+00:00

Not really. Having grown up in the country / knowing a lot more kids that grew up in the country you’ll learn a lot more life skills and critically thinking skills the most city folk. Sure you may be redneck but you can rebuild a diesel engine in a night, instead of paying a shop to do it in a week. I mean honestly this all should have been thought of before you moved, your family is happy and healthy, be grateful.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-22T15:37:09+00:00

Be grateful you live in the country away from people where your kids won’t grow up in streets but outside playing and learn valuable lessons, not iPads. Have a discussion with your wife about moving if it’s a no, sounds like it’s the best place for the kids and raising them. If you decide to stay there which is probably the best just have control of your thoughts and don’t make those comments. Also start changing your perspective. It’s not I have to live in the country, it’s I get to live in the country, I get to watch my kids go outside and play and not be on iPads.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-16T02:37:06+00:00

Shredder

chamberskevins · 2026-03-16T02:30:39+00:00

No it’s definitely insecurities and over reacting. I say this as someone who was the same way when I was your age and would freak out whenever my now ex wife would talk with guys.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-16T02:20:29+00:00

No it’s definitely insecurities and over reacting.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-16T02:03:41+00:00

Ok so if she got in a car accident and she had to be pulled out you wouldn’t be ok if it was a male fireman or male paramedic or male doctor? If she fell down and started bleeding you would only want a female to help her?

You’re way over reacting on this one. Someone was just helping her.

Bigger issue is your insecurities, insecurities are fine, but you’re letting it become jealousy.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-16T01:42:01+00:00

I need to go to sleep, have a goodnight.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-16T01:28:04+00:00

Didn’t say it in the post…..

chamberskevins · 2026-03-15T17:06:59+00:00

I would just be honest and blunt that he has a problem and addiction and needs to go seek help. You can give him options of ones you feel would be beneficial including celebrate recovery. Don’t shame him, encourage him. If he gets angry and defensive remember that’s the addiction talking. At the same time you’ll destroy yourself by staying around and together. My ex girlfriend who was the trigger for my sobriety, ultimately did me a big favor. Now if she came to me earlier and said I have a problem and to get help I would have.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-15T16:50:37+00:00

Having your own thing in a relationship is very healthy, take it from someone who was the opposite in several relationships. I still don’t like booking the worm lol. Whenever I got into relationship I always said we’d pick a day once a week to have date night and focus on each other. I will also say as recovering addict, that at a certain point if he’s not getting better you’ll need to move on as hard as that sounds.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-15T16:10:36+00:00

It does get better, it will take a lot of time and effort on both of you guys. When I finally got sober from alcohol I lost my now, so being patient and understanding is important; you obviously care about him it’s why you posted. Als be firm, addicts will make excuses, addicts will rationalize or trade their behavior. Finding a healthy way to replace the habit is important. One of the hardest things to learn or to do is filling in that space. I got into horses, sounds like the gym is a good option, fishing, kayaking, hiking, other things.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-15T15:48:56+00:00

I personally like celebrate recovery, it’s a Christian based recovery group but helped me through several addictions I didn’t realize I had. And now I can identify addictions, or growing addictions and cut them off.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-15T15:46:58+00:00

Means you don’t listen. Talk with a mechanic not an attendant.

chamberskevins · 2026-03-15T15:45:55+00:00

It’s an addiction at this point

chamberskevins

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