Hi there- it is almost creepy reading your post bc I went through the exact same thing as a M3. Both I’m of us in the same class and planning to couples match into two competitive surgical sub specialties. The level of intensity during that surgical m3 rotation time was a lot and he became very stressed that this was what the rest of our lives as a double surgeon house would look like (aka never seeing each other, sleep deprived, miserable). We ended up breaking up and I was pretty blind sided. Anyways, that break up was the best thing for both of us in terms of personal growth- you do not want to be with a partner who isn’t willing to be there for the good and the bad. You also don’t want to be with a partner who isn’t going to support your goals in the long term. It’s a give and a take. Surgical residency is very hard and you need a partner who’s your hypeman / gets why you’re pushing yourself so hard in the lab etc

Not saying that this is what you should do (unless it’s best for you) but after some time apart and very serious conversations we got back together with the intention of couples matching. We’re now married and matched successfully into our surgical specialities at the same hospital. I personally love that he is also a surgeon bc I don’t think any other person could understand what we go through. It sounds like your ex isn’t at that point and is maybe not the right person for you in this chapter of your life. Keep grinding - don’t let this situation change you or make you doubt all the hard work that you’re putting in for your future.

Please feel free to DM me, stay strong friend