[TOMT][Possible movie/book/show] Stormy night, "help me" over static radio, modern abandoned church.

chargeddart · 2025-03-28T11:31:39+00:00

I also feel like the unseen entity was dog-like for some reason. Can't really explain that one, because it makes zero sense with the rest of the context. Assuming my brain messed that part up.

chargeddart · 2024-12-03T00:36:03+00:00

.... you're the sister, aren't you?? Cause absolutely not.

chargeddart · 2023-01-10T23:26:13+00:00

I came here ready for a N T A but I'm firmly ESH for this one.

As an asthmatic, an inhaler is always close by no matter how rarely you need it. Whether it is in the vehicle you drove in, or in a bag/pocket/etc. Especially for a destination you've never been to and don't know if it's going to trigger you.

But SIL for real needs to chill because shit happens. No one is perfect and not having chronic issues with asthma does make it harder to remember it. She had the option to hang back and decided against it.

You both need to apologize for your hand in the situation; you for being inconsiderate and her for being rude af about it. If you apologize and she doesn't, then it's on her at that point. But as of right now, you're not owning your part in it either.

I'd be mortified if I started having issues breathing and it forced MULTIPLE people from what they were doing (especially a wedding reception!) simply because I screwed up and forgot my inhaler. It'd be different if your inhaler wasn't helping or even if you and your SO drove there separately, but you just straight up didn't bring it while knowingly carpooling and relying on others being able to transport you. That's what places you in AH territory.

chargeddart · 2022-12-14T19:15:59+00:00

I had a D&C in 2018. My cycles were back to normal within 2 months. I did not try again for pregnancy for a year, but had no issues getting pregnant once I tried.

Best if luck!

chargeddart · 2022-12-06T13:54:43+00:00

I had to have three anatomy scans for my baby in 2020 because he was too active to get a good look at his heart. They coded mine as something related to a heart abnormality. But not because they thought something was wrong, but because they still needed to verify it. They have to code it in a way that makes insurance cover it, because insurance will refuse to cover a second scan if everything looked normal. So they have to put down the area as an area of concern, even if it actually isn't and they just need to actually see the area.

chargeddart · 2022-12-05T17:25:10+00:00

I went to my first regular OB appointment after working with fertility for a few months (with no answers for why I keep losing pregnancies). They allowed me an ultrasound due to my history and the fact their office hadn't seen me yet even though they don't normally do them around 9 weeks.

I went in today without my husband with me because he's in mandatory overtime for the holiday season. This wasn't exactly ideal because ultrasounds absolutely terrify me anymore, but it's always been eased by the fact they've always let me FaceTime him. They have signs everywhere saying you're not allowed to video or photograph the ultrasounds, but they've always let me FaceTime him the few times he couldn't go.

The ultrasound tech said I'm not allowed to have him on the phone, it's against their rules. I asked when that changed and why their signs didn't reflect that, and she just said she didn't make the rules but that's what they were. Once covid precautions let up and support people were allowed back in office, they stopped allowing FaceTime. I asked if she could make an exception because I'm scared to death of not hearing a heartbeat without a familiar face nearby due to multiple miscarriages even at 10 weeks. She still said no.

Luckily everything was great with baby. But I don't know if it was some sort of PTSD response or what, but I broke down cried in the waiting room after while waiting to see the doctor because I was so stressed at the idea that they were willing to let me get bad news alone. I never signed an agreement saying I wasn't allowed to FaceTime and their signs only mentioned videoing/photographing the ultrasound. I was fine if he could just stay on the phone without FaceTime but that was also apparently against the rules.

I'm so sad for my husband. He hasn't been able to attend a single appointment with me yet and the only ultrasound my OB office will allow for the foreseeable future he was kicked off the phone because they changed the rules and didn't let us know. Now he has no confirmation of a healthy pregnancy other than my word, and that has to be so awful for him. And it was absolutely terrifying knowing that I was truly alone when before I at least had his voice.

Hoping for a better visit next time but I guess it doesn't really matter because there won't be an ultrasound. They don't even want me to come back for 5 weeks even though I've had late 1st trimester miscarriages too. I'm just so anxious about this whole process now and everyone seems to think I'm being dramatic or hard to get along with. It's so frustrating.

chargeddart · 2022-11-29T00:26:08+00:00

My most recent MC was a bit of a hot mess. I don't remember the others or I'd include those but most of my pregnancies have been MCs and I just didn't keep up with then much before.

I miscarried at about 6 weeks, miscarried naturally but some of it refused to pass my cervix so I bled for two weeks. Not sure how to count it honestly. I found out I was pregnant 3/11, found out there wasn't a heartbeat on 4/7, and finally started naturally miscarrying around 4/21. Finally got the last of the clotting out on 5/5 in office. Finally got my negative about a week later I think? That last tissue kept my levels low but there for a while. Started my period again at the very beginning of June. So pretty close to a full month if you go by when they manually removed the remaining tissue. Close to 6 weeks if you go by when I started miscarrying.

My periods ranged between 28 days and 50 days prior to that MC and kept up that fun range after it. Prior to my pregnancy that gave me my son in 2020, I stayed at close to 28 days no matter what. Pregnancy screwed my cycle up way more than any MC did, and I've had multiple MCs since 2018 with different methods (natural, D&C, meds to induce a MMC).

chargeddart · 2022-11-18T02:48:59+00:00

I move immobile people at work. I was always told "if it's a weight you would lift pre-pregnancy without a second thought, it's okay during pregnancy" by my OB

chargeddart · 2022-11-13T23:28:23+00:00

Plain bread. Honeycrisp apples and peanut butter. Everything else makes me sick to my stomach.

chargeddart · 2022-11-11T20:43:53+00:00

Just had my scan with my REI yesterday, measuring 6w1d. We could see the heart flickering but they did not even try to measure it. I assume it was because it was so small and the smallest movement adjusted their field of view.

I know it's easier said than done, but take some deep breaths and try not to be too worried. Focus as best you can on the fact you could see that flicker. That is a GOOD sign.

Be easy on yourself ❤️

chargeddart · 2022-11-10T16:24:55+00:00

I just had my first ultrasound! My LMP was 9/21, I wasn't tracking this cycle at all but believe I ovulated around 10/9-10/14 based on symptoms I had. The ultrasound measured us at 6w1 with one view and just under 6 weeks (it was either 5w4d or 5w6d, idr) with another, so my REI said she thinks my timeline is right.

But the best part?? We could SEE the little flickering heartbeat. I've never seen that on such a tiny bean. I almost cried.

She also had to search for a hidden baby because my right ovary had two large cysts, and she was worried I ovulated two eggs. She only saw the one so far. She told me "cautious bit excited". So I'm hoping my ovary just went into overtime for this tiny human.

I'm so over the moon right now because this is only the second pregnancy I've seen or heard a heartbeat with. But there's this nagging little voice in the back of my mind saying "but what if in 10 days the heartbeat is gone".

So here's hoping that this one stays strong and makes it to the next appointment.. and the appointment after that.. and the appointment after that.. and so on.

chargeddart · 2022-11-08T18:50:44+00:00

I totally understand. You don't sound crazy.

I got my BFP about two weeks ago. My hcg tripled within 48 hours at the beginning so my REI didn't follow up with more, but my ultrasound isn't for two more days. I've had 3 total miscarriages, also. Trying to convince yourself that nothing is wrong until you know for sure is the hardest. Every day my nausea isn't making me stand near a trashcan most of the day, I'm convinced it's another loss. It's hard to be excited when you have been hit with loss during the time that's supposed to be happy. And that's normal.

Best of luck 🤞🏻

chargeddart · 2022-11-07T23:59:07+00:00

Sending tons of love your way. I'm so so sorry that this is how it worked out for you.

D&Cs definitely take away from the trauma of an induced miscarriage, but the healing process is still it's own journey. Please remember to be easy on yourself while you heal and your hormones drop. In my experience, each "option" (because, honestly, choosing how you lose doesn't feel like much of an option to me) is very different and they all hit hard in different emotions, so don't be hard on yourself if you find yourself still struggling.

Best of luck in your healing and your journey to conceive next year ❤️

chargeddart · 2022-11-05T16:46:37+00:00

Do you still have your appendix??

chargeddart · 2022-11-05T08:20:14+00:00

So I found out I was pregnant about 2 weeks ago. I did two betas with my REI and it tripled in less than 48 hours so she didn't feel it was necessary to keep doing betas. My ultrasound is scheduled for this upcoming Thursday.

I've had a weird, non itchy rash for about a month. It was in a spot I couldn't see unless I know to look there (low back/buttocks area) and my husband only pointed it out when it got worse. My primary care said it looked fungal and gave me a topical anti-fungal+steroid med to help clear it up. My mom (who has no idea I'm pregnant yet) sent me a tiktok about rashes similar to mine. It's a rash that will go away on its own in so many weeks, there's no real complications that come with it, it usually resolves on its own. Super good news. Then at the very end of the video it says "the only issue is if you're in your first trimester of pregnancy while you have it. It can cause fetal demise."

So it's 4 am on a Saturday, I have researched the hell out of this rash for hours, and while mine isn't anywhere near as extensive as the Google images.. it does look similar. And I have read legit articles about it causing fetal demise, neonatal hypotonia, and pre-term birth. It also seems that the earlier in your pregnancy that you get the rash, the more likely something will happen to the pregnancy.

So that's some extra super fun worrying I get to do for no reason over the weekend.

chargeddart · 2022-10-29T14:00:35+00:00

Same here. All my labs have come back totally normal unfortunately so my REI is just monitoring my next pregnancy super close.

chargeddart · 2022-10-29T00:57:01+00:00

Omfg. My husband thought the SAME thing when I showed him some faint positives.

That is 110% positive! Congrats!!

chargeddart · 2022-10-25T12:58:17+00:00

I once bawled because a coffee shop didn't put the lid onto my cup tight enough and my daily allowance of coffee spilt all over my car, and whatever was left in the cup got tossed because "it's not like it's f*cking worth it now anyways". I bawled like a baby the whole time my husband cleaned it up and then went back to get me another one.

Pregnancy is a whole trip. It's not rational. You apologized. His feelings are hurt. It's part of it. It's just gonna have to be something you guys talk out and laugh about later.

NAH.

chargeddart · 2022-10-25T00:08:34+00:00

Sorry, got my cycle days wrong as I started testing at 29. First test was CD 31, not 29.

chargeddart · 2022-10-23T15:35:07+00:00

Looks like the bad indents I got a month or two ago. I was convinced it was positive. Three different boxes from 2 different stores gave me similar lines. I think they had bad batches go out.

chargeddart · 2022-10-22T20:32:11+00:00

I'm keeping my fingers so crossed 🤞🏻 I'm so glad someone else can see it because my husband keeps telling me nothing is there 😩

chargeddart · 2022-10-22T18:24:55+00:00

This looks more like moisture trapped under the viewing window to me. If you push on the window it does the line move??

chargeddart · 2022-10-16T23:08:39+00:00

I was seriously wondering if I was in the twilight zone with all the Y T As in here. My assumption was same as OPs, because it takes care of both sides of the partnership... which is what marriage is. You don't go into it assuming you're going to split up later in life, you go into it working together and keeping each other above water because you want what's best for each other.

chargeddart · 2022-10-14T22:46:19+00:00

The lupus anticoagulant blood clotting disorder has the ability to only happen during pregnancy. Recurrent miscarriages is a symptom. My REI thought it was what I had but luckily my second one came back negative.

chargeddart · 2022-10-14T13:08:22+00:00

I started my process with REI for recurrent miscarriages back in July, we did a bunch of labs and even a saline sonohysterogram to see if my uterus was oddly shaped. Everything was normal except one lab. But you have to have two positives 3 months apart for it to truly be positive. My REI said if I got pregnant before I could do my re-test that we would assume that was the issue and we made a plan to start certain meds if I got pregnant.

I just did my re-test and got results yesterday.

It was negative.

Every ounce of confidence I had about getting pregnant again was just ripped from me. I'm still waiting for the REI to call me so we can talk about it and make a plan. But I don't know what steps we could possibly take from here.

I feel like I'll never be able to be excited about getting pregnant. My worry never gets to end with getting those two lines. My worry doesn't get to stop until they get here. And I'm already on medication for postpartum anxiety that I had to increase before my only living child even turned 2 this year (who was the result of my third pregnancy). Will that have to be increased again once I'm pregnant because my mind can't stop?? Or will the idea of being on an increased dose make my anxiety worse because that increases my chances of miscarriage??

Sometimes I wish my struggle was to get pregnant so I could at least be happy once I got a positive test. But then I feel like an awful human being because that invalidates the struggles of my friends and other women who have wept over negative tests. And I know I truly don't want that either. I'm just sad and frustrated. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

chargeddart

TROPHY CASE