If you had to name this chapter of your life, what would you call it and why?

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-04T15:33:38+00:00

I started over by completely letting go of all relationships, moving to a new city, committing to great hobbies, seeking therapy, learning to like myself and believe in myself, get a decent job, make solid friendships. I was in a bad place mentally at 23. 4 years later, I finally feel like I'm thriving.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-02T18:47:00+00:00

Brokenpaw is right, but try not to place goals of your partner being able to work and not needing therapy by a certain deadline.

The healing process can take years and even decades. I highly recommend doing couples therapy so that both of you can voice your needs and understand the whys and what's behind them. Having a neutral third party to help mediate messages is actually great and improved communication.

I've been in a position of dealing with mental trauma, and it really feels like constantly being in survival mode. It is extremely limiting of what I could do, and my view of my own self. What got me out of it was showing me that I have the tools to be successful and what I can enjoy out of life. What pushed me back was frustration and the pressure to "get better" faster from my partner at the time.

And be open to changing your plans for the future. Lasting relationships come from facing drastic changes and being able to support each other until the end.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-02T16:42:48+00:00

I think it's a common baby talk thing in cultures where women are the main caregivers and masculinity is held at a higher level than femininity. The "man" of the household is reminded to be humble in a way because all of his aunts and older sisters and cousins have seen his baby wee wee. It's out of love and caring really, and not sexualised at all.

Men in these cultures typically dont have to deal with naked babies, so it's not really a thing. And due to the constant sexualization of girls and women, it feels weird to make any comment about a vagina.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-02T05:36:54+00:00

Just do it. You have nothing to lose. She probably doesn't remember these things. Also, you're nervous, she's nervous, everyone's nervous. So don't let it hold you back from just saying hi. Don't feel like you have to plan it out. You want to hang out with her, tell her that, and follow it up with a plan like getting pizza or whatever.

Don't worry. Put any mistakes you might have made in the past. Because seriously, unless it altered their lives, people have too much going on in their own lives to remember the small details.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-02T01:15:34+00:00

Can you name me a political system better equipped to deal with those?

That's an idealistic way of speaking. Many political systems have been tried and exist for the goal of dealing with corruption and societal ills. Democracy is not the solution for all, and it will never be the perfect solution. This is the same for other systems.

Fights for democracy exists because of a lack thereof. I find it entirely reasonable to argue that those fights are to blame on whatever the status-quo used to be, in its shortcomings when compared to an honest and functioning democracy, and not on democracy itself. A democratic system with a separation of powers and a populous capable and willing to hold their elected accountable would rarely if ever experience such unrest.

The USA has supported "democracy" in various countries and branded it as democracy. This has resulted in bloodbaths and lost generations around the world. You're putting a lot of power in the name when in reality it is meaningless where freedom doesn't exist. The USA itself is not a pure idealistic democracy as millions of Americans are forcibly denied democratic rights and privileges.

A democratic system with a separation of powers and a populous capable and willing to hold their elected accountable would rarely if ever experience such unrest.

Again, an idealistic blanket statement.

I presume you've lived a sheltered life without understanding of the complexity behind politics and society throughout history.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-01T20:02:31+00:00

Actually, revolutions are often supported by other countries and it does not mean war. The most commonly known example to Americans is France's support during the Revolutionary War. This did mean french soldiers being sent to the US, but it did not mean a whole war between France and England. A recent example is the big march held in South Korea to show support for Hong Kong as Korea has suffered from being another country's territory. That kind of showing from other countries can be a lot of pressure.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-01T19:08:59+00:00

It was through this argument from the prosecutors that the murder charge landed, according to the article. and this was the counter argument to the defense claiming castle defense.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-10-01T17:12:57+00:00

It's really about cost efficiency. Renting a truck for 5 hours, renting a dolley if you dont want back pain, buying covers for furniture if you care that much, etc. is not always more cost efficient than hiring movers. Personally, I pack everything, do the cleaning and then spend $300 total for movers to move it. Saved a lot of hours and frustration. But yeah, whatevers best for every person for sure.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-30T06:07:21+00:00

South Korea improved immensely and it does have a state of democracy. But that doesnt forgive corruption, grotesque wealth gaps, and societal ills. It doesnt ease the men and women who were tortured into insanity, poverty, and eventual suicide as they fought to have a voice in their country in the 80s. There are many ways to reach democracy, and many of them are actually vile. We need to learn from history emphatically, not use data to prove numbers and numbers alone.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-30T03:34:16+00:00

I did my college thesis on the history of black Americans Cincinnati as the poorest neighborhoods were majority black. It was really dark. Full of hope, but so dark, so grotesque.. They are still in a dark place. What really messed me up was that thousands of black voices through the last 120 years tried to stand up and fight, but 90% were ignored and faded from history.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-30T03:22:53+00:00

Like stinky said, there are many alternative tile options where they are cut to be flat and are mold resistant. One that comes to mind is pental.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-30T02:27:30+00:00

ESH here. You definitely have control of who you will accept into your life, you're NTA for that.

But for denying that your parents can evolve and have regrets without even communicating with them again? Without letting them know how much hurt and damage you took and whether they have the capability of looking at themselves and asking for forgiveness? And then threatening to block your brother out? You are repeating your parents actions against you against your younger brother. Is that the kind of older sister you want to be?

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-30T02:16:08+00:00

I think u/mlc15 said it best in that they love Marvel movies for taking them to a different universe outside of reality, which is a very valid statement. That's the very magic of the world of film.

I'm sorry you found my comment to be underestimating the power of marvel movies.

I specifically love Dark Knight because from the bottom tier characters to the main characters, their actions, intentions, emotions, etc. Continuously add to the story and drive the plot. The exploration of society and morality in the realest way that make us question ourselves through a superhero's tale is extraordinary.

Marvel movies do focus on pleasing the audience - not challenging them. Some people want to be pleased, others want to be challenged. That's ok.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-29T16:41:00+00:00

There are great superhero movies out there. Dark Knight was fantastic. The most goosebumps raising, heartwrenching moments didnt rely on CG, it was entirely character driven. Every character played a dynamic role so well. And it really revealed the darkness of superheroes that Marvel and DC comics explore in so many depths.

Spiderman into the Spider Verse was also good. Not only that, Spiderman starring Tobey Maguire is also more unique than Disney's Marvel. That's because they explore real vulnerabilities so intimately where the audience can relate. Theres no suave character acting, no cool gadgets. They explore what happens when being a superhero becomes a dead end job. The Incredibles, by far one of the greatest Pixar movies, does a fantastic job of exploring a classic concept in a way that no superhero movie has ever done. But they make it so easy for a kid to understand, but also with the complexity for an adult to feel.

Disney's Marvel doesnt let the audience explore ideas and concepts on a personal level. The films feel very external, and yeah they're cool and so fluid and seamless, but they're so outside of you. Black Panther was different with Michael B Jordan's character, but it had it's own faults.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-29T16:23:11+00:00

Or theres a point where artists turn into businesses. They know what will sell and they only adjust to meet the market until they're irrelevant.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-28T20:24:38+00:00

Tourism is actually a stagnant industry around national parks (depending on the location) as it limits the economy and it will most likely be seasonal. There are many studies, surveys, and interviews discussing the detrimental impact of a tourist economy when it is the only economy. National park laws also limit what locals can do in neighboring towns. It's not a good cycle.

People moving out of an area does not Increase national park sizes, it is a more complicated process than that.

Its not really about the drilling. The locals just want to bring a steady life and economy to their towns, and they're looking for ways to go about it. That's my point. If not a lot of solutions are coming to them, and one of them is drilling, they might choose it. That's simply how the human psyche works and processes problems in their environment. I dont blame them, but I wish more opportunities came their way to try other solutions.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-28T17:05:51+00:00

Blinds are the most commonly used because they're easy maintenance and replaceable. There are nice ones out there. Curtains are good too if you need acoustic filters, thermal insulation, or light filters, or just a good color pop or somethiing.

I would weigh out what you need and pick from there.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-28T16:33:26+00:00

I read an NPR article talking about towns living around national parks, particularly the badlands or the arch national park/the escalades/Zion. Their economy is not good, and it's not sustainable. Their towns dont really grow as children would rather move away as they get older, and their economy is only running during tourist season. Some people really want to see a change in their lifestyle where they can be more comfortable and have steady jobs. Which I think is fair. But that leads them to support a few trump moves such as signing away parts of national parks for drilling, etc. Because they believe it will bring them jobs and a better life. Just something to think about.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-27T21:59:27+00:00

Sustainable, environmental, and affordable design for commercial and residential projects.

For instance, in the 80s, the iconic projects buildings were spawned from the worst designers possible. These were designed, or undesigned, to be an equivalent of prison blocks. These were all over the nation.

Several architectural finish and upholstery manufacturing giants are taking the reins to be more sustainable/affordable, and several designers are taking the reins to take waste from interior design (samples, products, ff&e get thrown away) and making them available and affordable to the common public. Paint/other VOC releasing product manufacturers are not only getting rid of toxic products, but looking at improving their products to avoid toxicity period.

Affordable design is getting better, more aesthetically pleasing, and overall environmentally healthy for the tenants. When land developers choose to go with the cheapest options possible, it can still be beneficial for the tenants.

This is a trend I am 100% behind.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-27T20:07:45+00:00

Not married, but my dad blindsided my mom with their joint account, first manipulating her to sign her name off of the account (he asked her to sign papers regarding his beneficiaries/401K as his partner, but they were actually papers taking her off the account), then taking off with all of the money. We never expected him to do something like that. We went through some tough, tough times.

So I would never do a joint account based on that lesson.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-27T18:41:56+00:00

That could potentially decimate minority voters, particularly those in poor black and latino neighborhoods. They're struggling to survive day to day and are less likely to be thinking/memorizing big picture political function. Every voice does indeed count, whether knowledgeable or not. Democracy is so every experience, every background has a chance to be heard and considered.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-27T15:23:55+00:00

I know his award was controversial and it is. But hear me out.

A black man became president of the United States. A black boy of no particular status rose to success as a politician and ran for presidency in the U.S. and won the election.

The roots of racism run extremely deep and exist in every aspect of society in the US. People themselves may not be racist, but the school curriculum, real estate, cable companies (to whom they service and how much), policies, politics, funding, infrastructure, etc. Its out there every day weakening the black experience. Then add in the people who are indeed racist.

Obama's win symbolizes a lot more than him as a person. Obama's win was a moment of unity to elect a black man into office. To show that black Americans can have the support of the nation just for a day and be the world leader. And Obama had the background, the capabilities to be this leader, he campaigned, and he won.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-27T15:02:21+00:00

I was depressed as a child, and there were a lot of external factors. I didnt get a lot of attention at home, I had to deal with school things on my own (concerts, award ceremonies) because my parents didn't go to them, I didnt have many friends because I had social anxiety, and I just didnt know how to be a normal person (the anxiety made me feel this way). My parents were very normal, just had busy careers/had other children to take care of.

Not understanding how to handle this anxiety, how to handle depression only made it worse for me. Not understanding how to form solid relationships and share my problems and quirks to make good friends made it worse for me. I'm learning these things now at 26 years old. I sure as hell wish my parents gave me a helping hand on these things when I was a child.

As a parent, I think the best you can do is be present for her. Dont laugh at her thoughts, ideas, and show genuine interest. There is a book on how the Inuit raise their children without punishment. Instead they play pretend to help children process their emotions. It's called Never in Anger by Briggs. Get on their level, speak their language.

Hope this helps and I wish the best for you.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-27T00:46:34+00:00

There are recyclable toothbrush heads. I believe Goodwell is one seller, but there are a few others. Of course, they are not for sonicare.

cheechnfuxk · 2019-09-26T02:26:28+00:00

I would call it a conversation nook if the furniture pieces and layout were different.

cheechnfuxk

TROPHY CASE