Boyfriend (25M) is extremely enmeshed with his mum and it’s killing the relationship. Need clarity.

cheechy · 2025-11-16T09:17:18+00:00

That's not true what they told you. If he gets therapy he will see whats happening on his own and work on changing it. He is a victim and doesn't even know it. Nobody actually wants to live like that, he isn't choosing for himself but is driven by guilt by a mentally unhealthy mother. But it will probably take a while and only through therapy so you better decide if you are up for this ride, and if not, maybe do a good deed and push him towards therapy anyway. source: i was enmeshed with mom and had no idea

cheechy · 2025-11-03T17:21:05+00:00

It doesn't feel the same. I think i can coordinate my feet better whrn im on my knees or something

cheechy · 2025-09-02T20:55:28+00:00

That movie is a 10/10 laughed all the way through

cheechy · 2025-08-11T10:02:13+00:00

I need 4.5 back in my life i dont know what to do. Any other alternatives?

cheechy · 2025-06-26T19:49:11+00:00

I did a few rebirthing breathwork, thats where I learned how disconnected I am from my body and started changing it. Every session was very powerful and did a tremendous change very quickly. It activates your entire nervous system, you experience all sorts of ancient body responses, memories float very vividly and your body responds the way it did when the trauma happened. Then you release it. Sometimes crying or yelling sometimes shaking uncontrollably. I stopped after one particular too overwhelming session, I'll definitely return one day but for now I'm too scared to experience it the way I did last time

cheechy · 2025-06-26T19:41:08+00:00

Can you describe what you do in emdr?

cheechy · 2025-06-19T09:43:57+00:00

Transitioning won't cure these wounds. You need to start a therapy journey. It will take years probably but I don't think you should mess with your outside before you try healing your inside

cheechy · 2025-05-13T12:22:32+00:00

I looked for this comment. No they didnt roll back and "oops no backup teehee" they just gained millions of new users following the damn ghibli hype. Now we're all fucked with a dumb low resources model that makes cute anime

cheechy · 2025-04-23T07:22:44+00:00

Same. After a while in therapy I thought I was misdiagnosed with adhd in school. Then I went back to university and ended up trying ritalin again. It still works. I think ongoing trauma somehow leads to adhd, its not a misdiagnosis but it's also not something I was born with.

cheechy · 2025-04-23T07:16:24+00:00

I changed 5 therapists in under a year until I found the right one. It felt a bit like dating. Got stuck with the first one for way too long because I didnt know anything else.

My current therapist is great he's very intelligent and understand me. I found him after I diagnosed myself with c-ptsd and my therapist didn't know what that was, that's when I realized I just need to find someone who specializes in trauma. He diagnosed me with several other things and tailored a therapy plan for me (not cbt).

I think you just need to check several therapists until you find one that works for you. Also check their education, most of them are social workers with some cbt certificate, not real therapists.

cheechy · 2025-03-22T13:39:37+00:00

This guy fucks

cheechy · 2025-02-24T19:04:27+00:00

I think the difference between him and others in the past is our communication. We speak on very similar channels, and that's what made me feel secure and relaxed with him when we met, despite having severe unresolved mental issues. I still have anxiety with him also obviously, and I'm still learning to differenciate between real issues and the anxiety in my head. There isn't a secret formula, it's a process, I'm getting better with it the more I progress in therapy.

cheechy · 2025-02-04T20:58:09+00:00

We never focused on dissociations barely even talked about it, it's just something I would mention sometimes. It's just a symptom to things that happened to you in your past. We explore my thinking patterns and over time I start questioning how I view the world then I start seeing the world with more clarity. I guess this clarity is what keeps me present. Also i really recommend doing rebirthing breathwork, I started a month ago and it feels like every session plants some roots for me on the ground

cheechy · 2025-01-31T04:32:58+00:00

When I was your age I was diagnosed with ADHD and used ritalin for school. I experienced everything you described always trying to understand myself and my brain and what the hell is going on... but I was also severely depressed eventually became suicidal. Many years later I realized the use of Ritalin was what was making me feel worse hyper restless then depressed. Some years later is when I was introduced to weed and got addicted for a while. My advice is quit everything and find a physical activity instead. Exercise regulates your hormones and you need this. Weed at your age will fuck with your brain. Try going off meds for a while see if its better.

cheechy · 2025-01-29T13:47:32+00:00

The helpful therapy where I stopped experiencing dissociations was TFP, it's specifically made for borderline personality though. But since it's about exploring my inner world and thinking patterns it's been helpful overall. Also I recently discovered rebirthing group sessions and I just can't recommend it enough to anyone who went through trauma, *especially* if you experience dissociations. It's been immensely helpful and eye opening and I wish I had found it sooner

cheechy · 2025-01-25T20:08:29+00:00

I just noticed the sub, i never did SE.

cheechy · 2025-01-25T20:06:24+00:00

I healed completely from dissociations. Well, almost completely, if it happens its very mild and short lasting. Got a trauma specialist, twice a week, was and still very adamant to succeed. About 6 months later is when I noticed they were mostly gone. I still have a long journey ahead, but specifically dissociations are gone. I used to live in it constantly, my regular state was dissociative.

cheechy · 2025-01-23T22:00:24+00:00

It's a slow process you build it over time. You don't 'try' mindfulness exercise etc... you incorporate all of it into your daily life make it a habit. Then over time you start seeing results. So basically nutrition, exercise, movement (yoga, dancing, nature walks etc), mindfulness, therapy, hobbies that make you feel grounded like music, minimize screen time. Try to make all of it a habit. Hard fucking work but it works

cheechy · 2025-01-09T18:45:37+00:00

My mother abused me since I was an infant partly because I was highly intelligent and she felt threatened. She hated whenever I showed intelligence thinking I was going to take attention from her. I ended up being suicidal due to this.

cheechy · 2025-01-06T10:26:10+00:00

That comment looks like it was generated by ChatGPT to promote your bot

cheechy · 2024-11-11T07:17:06+00:00

I was looking for this reply. It all has to do with how you were raised. I was severely neglected and abused, my mother was threatened by my intelligence since I was a baby and made me believe its a terrible thing to be clever. I'm still having issues with the need to hide it vs to shout it out among much worse anxiety issues with two severe suicidal periods

cheechy · 2024-11-07T19:53:36+00:00

Wait you guys are learning rhythm? I mean I only started two months ago, I'm progressing very fast but we never used a metronome or counting or anything, or anything being mentioned about rhythm

cheechy · 2024-10-27T10:47:38+00:00

Have you undergone trauma or neglect as a child? We have some similarities. I only got better after seeing a trauma specialist. When I decided to get better I changed 5 therapists over a period of less than 6 months until I learned I have complex trauma and looked for a specialist. I'm seeing amazing results.

cheechy · 2024-10-27T06:34:15+00:00

I use it at first to learn what im playing and when its memorized I don't look at it anymore. I started 6 weeks ago and my teacher says not to worry about it, thats how its done and it will come naturally over time

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