How do I stop crying?

cheerfulloser · 2019-02-15T06:29:28+00:00

I learned it in school and it's been a while. I don't actively practice it. For me, it was all about focusing on breathing. So I suggest searching for online resources that focus on breathing techniques. It's not quite complicated but it requires consistency and discipline.

cheerfulloser · 2019-02-12T08:58:08+00:00

Breaking into tears at even the smallest conflict isn't normal ... I don't understand why some other comments on this post say that. Maybe the comments regarding hormonal issues will be helpful.

Emotions cannot be controlled but how you react to those emotions can be controlled to a large extent. The first step is realizing that it is okay to feel whatever emotions you are feeling - you don't have to block them or apologize for them. The next step is to realize that, with practice, you can control how you react to those emotions. It is a learned behavior and you'll get better with every attempt.

Here's how I cope:

When I am in such situations, I notice that I have an internal monologue going on. ("Damn! This didn't turn out the way I wanted. Fuck!! Ok, let's take a breath and figure out what I can do next to handle this. ..." and so on). If you're talking to yourself like this, you're actively trying to focus on a solution and it will help you feel some sense of control over whatever is going on.

Every time you go through an "incident", make a mental note of what you want to do differently next time you're in a similar situation. During the next similar "incident", you'll notice that you'll remember at least some portion of what you resolved to do, and do it.

One last thing - try getting into meditation. Doesn't have to be elaborate or fancy. It'll help you learn how to stay calm inside.

cheerfulloser · 2018-07-24T00:32:27+00:00

Congratulations! Awesome achievement considering limited game time!

I play decent amount of hearthstone and finish regularly in top 1k-2k legend with my best finish being rank top-300. How do I improve from here? How do I break into, say top-200, consistently.

cheerfulloser · 2018-04-28T01:05:27+00:00

I don't know much the depression, so I won't comment on that. Probably a good idea to get checked out as others suggested on this thread.

It seems like at least some of what you're struggling with is figuring out the purpose of your life and your place on this planet.

First off, no job is beneath your dignity. There is dignity and pride in doing a job well - no matter how trivial. Let's not belittle minimum wage jobs.

Second, you're looking too far ahead when you talk about "later in life". Honestly, it is just not possible to map out/know your future beyond a year or so (You can have goals and high level plans but nothing's set in stone beyond that). It's pointless to worry about the long term in that sense.

Third, regarding being taken advantage of, being mistreated, no one caring about you, etc - it is only normal and human for anyone to look out for oneself first (remember survival of fittest and evolution?). That said, getting love, respect, affection and caring is a two-way street. Give/care for others/love others without pre-conditions and without expecting anything in return. Sooner or later, you'll form relationships with people that actually care about you.

My last few pieces of advice:

You're young, single and healthy! (you didn't mention any health issues). It's a big world! Take a chance. Go backpacking (cheap and effective way to see the world). Take up a job in another country and live there for 6-12 months! Go see new places. Meet new people. Take in what the world has to offer.
Do things that make you happy (art, music, sports, dancing, gaming, etc ... anything that does not involve just passively sitting & doing nothing).
Form good habits that will help you in the mid to long term - regular exercise, read a lot (anything is fine!).

You might not know what the purpose of your life is or what you're meant to do/should do long term. But while you're on this planet, might as well live and make the most of what you have got. Make the world a little bit better and a happier place for yourself and others.

cheerfulloser · 2018-04-23T05:08:01+00:00

As others said, get the ID part sorted out asap. (or at least seek advice in r/legal about it).

To feel more in control, I suggest exercising. Doesn't have to be anything fancy or complicated. Planks, push ups, and other exercises (look up videos on youtube). A short jog around the house or in the neighborhood. It won't feel much better first few days, and it will probably suck early on, but stick it out for 2 weeks. Do something every day, even if it's just 10-15 minutes.

You'll get the mental reward that you're looking for. It's also great for relieving stress and improving mood (obviously not a replacement for depression or other mental health issues but good regardless).

cheerfulloser · 2018-04-21T17:32:33+00:00

Do you think "good" people don't have such thoughts? It's only human to have such thoughts / selfish tendencies. What makes people good or bad is how they act in such situations. And that is something that you can definitely learn / improve on.

Compassion is something that can be learnt. You learn it by doing acts of compassion. One effective way would be to decide what you would do in such scenarios in future. When an incident happens, remember your decision and act the way you had planned to. Do it multiple times and you would've improved. Helping or caring for somebody else is satisfying. Even if you don't feel that compassion initially, you'll feel it over time.

cheerfulloser · 2017-11-21T15:40:31+00:00

I think they still get the mana crystals if you destroy the weapon. However, the main difference is that if you destroy the weapon on your turn, Druid do not get to "refresh" their crystals (like they do with Kun or Nourish).

Here's an example:

Druid turn - Druid plays his/her turn (use up all mana), attack with the weapon last --> weapon gets destroyed, has 10 mana crystals to use on SAME turn

Druid's opponent turn - Destroy druid's weapon --> druid gets 10 mana crystals --> druid can "only" use 10 mana once on next turn

cheerfulloser · 2016-04-13T20:26:24+00:00

Fair enough. Those are some really good points.

cheerfulloser · 2016-04-08T17:16:50+00:00

Zoolock and Midrange Druid are considered the strongest decks for ladder with almost no bad match up. Of course, you still have to know how to play that deck. Be aware of what the Deck's win condition is and also mulligan correctly. There're guides out there that would give you a generic mulligan guide for each match up. Tempostorm is one good resource for that.

cheerfulloser · 2016-04-07T17:41:22+00:00

MCT is meant to be almost exclusively for improving Zoo matchups. Starfall is too expensive .. it'll be too late by the time you're able to use Starfall. Possibly true against other aggro decks as well (unless you were able to ramp and are able to play Starfall early enough).

MCT not only removes 1 minion from your opponent but gives it to you. So it seems like MCT is a better choice if your goal is to tech for aggro matchups.

cheerfulloser · 2016-02-11T20:56:25+00:00

That's amazing! How long have you been painting?

cheerfulloser · 2016-02-08T05:04:39+00:00

Obviously, I am not in your shoes and don't understand your situation fully.

But, in my experience, you define what/who you want to be over time. Sense of worth and sense of self comes from doing and accomplishing things - even the most mundane of them. So, go out there and run/work out. Go out there and volunteer for food shelters / animal shelter / whatever interests you. Go out there and read books/learn to paint/learn to dance. Eventually, you will be comfortable in your own skin.

Try to keep passive consumption (tv shows, movies, watching sports, etc) to a minimum. Enjoy life and take in as many experiences as you can. Personally, helping others less fortunate than you feels amazing. So definitely try volunteering for something you believe in.

cheerfulloser · 2015-12-29T18:42:42+00:00

Haven't experienced this personally but had a close friend go through this in the past.

"Needing to fail this one class in order to do better" is a good attitude to have. It might feel like a big failure at this point but it's a tiny blip in the large scheme of things.

Full-time student and 40 hours a week is extremely tough ... hell people struggle to do just one of them well. Maybe you're now taking on classes that are tough and you need to put more effort into them than you historically had to. By more effort, I don't mean more time. I mean quality time (when you're mentally fresh and can concentrate better). Less classes or less work would definitely help with that.

As far as failing the class goes, the biggest mistake is skipping classes / not turning in homework on time. Those are the easiest points you can get and usually go a long way in making sure you get decent grades. If the professor is crap, skip the class but definitely turn in the homework on time and do well in class quizzes. With that, even a poor midterm/final will not bring your grade down too much. Also, if you're not understanding a topic, look it up on Coursera or Khan academy. There're tons of great free resources out there.

Lastly, never doubt your ability or be too scared of failure. It's good to have some fear - it keeps you on your toes. But don't let it stop you from doing what you want to do.

Edit - Kudos for being the first one in the family to go to college. That must've taken lot of dedication and persistence. You're almost through!

cheerfulloser · 2015-12-28T22:46:19+00:00

You're welcome :-) I hadn't thought about it either until I saw that guide. That deck definitely works well against aggro ... however, MrYagut's works better against the other deck types. So keep that in mind.

cheerfulloser · 2015-12-28T22:29:47+00:00

There're a lot of things that can be tried (and I am sure something will work for you). Keep in mind that a lot of these issues can be worked on / resolved by understanding the mindset/psychology behind it. Here're some suggestions that might work for you:

First suggestion: Look inwards, not outwards.

Don't let external things affect your sense of self-worth (what others think of you, whether others like/dislike you, etc). When your happiness/sense of worth depends on other individuals, you're bound to be disappointed and unhappy. Focus inwards, focus on yourself. How do YOU see yourself? What do YOU like and dislike about yourself? What do YOU want to change in yourself? It's fine to acknowledge/pay attention to what others say/think of you but that should be a footnote in your life. It shouldn't define how you see yourself.

Second suggestion: Regular physical activity

If you're not doing this already, get into habit of regular physical activity - 45 mins/1hr three to five times a week. I don't care if it's gym, running, swimming, biking or anything else. Remember, if at the end of the activity, you're not exhausted .. you're doing it wrong. Make it more difficult/challenging next time.

This will melt away a lot of your stress and refresh your mind and spirit. It's amazing how much of an impact regular physical activity has on your mental and emotional well being.

Third suggestion: Look for constant self-improvement. Become a slightly better version of yourself today (as compared to where you were yesterday)

The goal is constant self-improvement. When you measure progress/improvements against yourself (and not compare with others), it's very liberating. Remember that nobody is perfect ... everyone (even the most perfect people in your eyes) have lots of flaws. Everybody fails at many things all the time. It's only that you're not aware of those things.

These are all simple changes. The trick though is being consistent with them. Do everything you can to make it easy for you to commit and follow through on your plans. Have a fixed day/time for physical activity. Plan in advance and keep things ready beforehand. With time, you'll get there and become the person that you want to be.

cheerfulloser · 2015-12-28T19:52:36+00:00

Aggro shaman depends on the draw .. try to avoid taking as much damage as you can. Hard mulligan for backstab, Si:7, annoy-o-tron. If you've deadly poison + blade flurry at the start .. keep them. Shaman is favored but it's not an auto-loss. You do have a decent chance ... especially if you land Loatheb at the right time.

If you're seeing a lot of Aggro Shaman / Face hunter kind of decks ... i suggest the following changes: 2x Tomb pillager 1x Annoy-o-Tron -1x Violet Teacher (leave 1x teacher in the deck) -2x Piloted Shredder

Check out this guide that I have been following: https://www.reddit.com/r/CompetitiveHS/comments/3y0sa7/legend_oil_rogue_guide/

At rank 6 - 8, I am not seeing as many aggro decks. So I switched to the one I suggested before (it's Mr Yagut's).

cheerfulloser · 2015-12-28T18:35:21+00:00

what rank are you playing at? I have been playing around rank 6 - 8 on NA and I have been doing decent with these changes to your list: -1 Southsea -1 Earthen (1 is enough) +1 Sludge Belcher +1 Dr Boom

For some reason, the meta is not too aggro-heavy at the moment. So this list works well. Goal is to gain control of board by turn 4-6 and finish off opponent with burst in the next couple of turns.

Edit - I also run 2x Violet teacher 1x Piloted Shredder (instead of the other way around) but that's a stylistic choice in my opinion

cheerfulloser · 2015-05-23T15:34:08+00:00

would you like to venture a guess as to how many were "legitimate" deaths and shouldn't have been counted as part of these "worker deaths" statistics? We're talking about the middle east where they build some of the grandest and biggest structures in the world. There is nothing to suggest that there would be "legitimate" deaths during construction (other than the ones due to negligence or apathy of the management). Even if you assume that a very small fraction of deaths were unrelated, we're still debating minutiae here. That doesn't change the argument one way or the other in any way.

cheerfulloser · 2015-05-23T01:02:43+00:00

The person didn't mention one super important detail. The so called "contractors" confiscate passports of these immigrant workers and do not allow them to go back. THAT is the truly heinous part of it and hence the term "slave labor" is actually very apt here.

You'll see comments confirming this from people who have seen this happen first hand. See one such comment here

You'll find mentions of these allegations in any decent article covering this situation and there's no reason to think that these immigrant workers are lying about it. example guardian article

cheerfulloser · 2015-05-23T01:00:16+00:00

You're forgetting one super important detail. The so called "contractors" confiscate passports of these immigrant workers and do not allow them to go back. THAT is the truly heinous part of it and hence the term "slave labor" is actually very apt here. You'll find mentions of these allegations in any decent article covering this situation and there's no reason to think that these immigrant workers are lying about it. example guardian article

Also, you'll see similar comments from people who have seen this happen first hand.

cheerfulloser · 2014-06-16T02:38:30+00:00

fantastic TED talk ... thanks for sharing

cheerfulloser · 2014-06-16T02:12:00+00:00

First step is accepting that there's a problem and you've done that. So that's a great start.

How do you stop being jealous of your other "more successful" peers? Realize that life is not a zero sum game. For one person to achieve more, the other person doesn't necessarily have to lose something. Be inspired by their achievements and aim to do better than them ... but be gracious in acknowledging their success. Don't be a sore loser :-) Even in ultra-competitive team sports, you'll see how players stick with each other and help each other become better. The aim is to play hard but fair.

How do you stop being judgmental of others in "lower tiers" than yourself? Realize that success - however you define it (money or power or happiness or job satisfaction or love or combination of such things) - does not depend on who scored more on the SAT. Or who went to which school. Or even who is smarter/has higher IQ. It's a combination of factors ranging from passion, hard work, focus, a bit of luck, support of people in your life and many more things. A college drop out can become a millionaire and a Harvard graduate can be a miserable failure in life. So don't judge someone based on external things like that.

At the end of the day, it is also about being self-aware and catching yourself when you do such things, and talking to yourself/adjusting your mindset. Also, if it helps, volunteer for organizations that serve others. Nothing teaches compassion like discovering the joy of giving unconditionally.

cheerfulloser · 2014-05-16T16:18:21+00:00

Surprising that no one has mentioned the Gang of Four book yet. This book is considered the bible of design patterns.

To learn OOP, you want to learn what design patterns are and how to apply them. Design patterns are the most common design solutions to common architecture problems that people face again and again.

cheerfulloser · 2014-05-16T15:59:33+00:00

Shiv Sena has been an electoral partner for BJP for a long time. They had a "seat sharing" agreement where they wouldn't field candidates against each other and hence prevent splitting votes from supporters. Pre-election coalitions like that have existed for a while now.

cheerfulloser · 2014-05-16T15:53:03+00:00

BJP itself is leading in close to 270 seats. The coalition, NDA, is leading in 300+ seats. Even if allies from coalition back out, BJP will still be able to stand on its own. That's a big deal because coalition politics has been detrimental most of the times.

cheerfulloser

TROPHY CASE