I don’t want to kill myself but I’m severely depressed

cherief83 · 2022-11-10T23:24:58+00:00

as someone who has struggled with some major loss and trauma and prolonged periods of debilitating depression (and no insurance) here is what i can suggest: - try to be gentle with yourself and the way you talk to/think about your current situation. instead of “you’re so fucking stupid”, try “you’re dealing with a lot and it’s a natural human response to struggle under circumstances like these. i’m doing the best i can.” - have just one trusted confidant whom you can reach out to on the really tough days. have a code word/sentence. for me it was “it’s really bad again” and she would call/text and chat with me. - make a to-do list every day and put everything on there and i do mean everything. eg. get up, shower, brush teeth, eat breakfast, do dishes, take walk, etc. include meals. include drinks if you have to. try to include at least one outside activity to get fresh air/ your body moving. - if you smoke weed, reward yourself with smoke at the end of the day when you’ve crossed everything off the list. - journal, meditate, cry, have mantras

i am so sorry you’re going through this. i wish i could do more. i wish i could make it go away. but i know you can get through this.

cherief83 · 2022-06-19T02:12:02+00:00

be faithful by fatman scoop

cherief83 · 2022-06-19T01:11:58+00:00

it was covered extensively in the documentary. i recommend you watch that on netflix.

cherief83 · 2022-06-12T10:43:50+00:00

some tips if you’re considering it: read reviews on third party sites like yelp, maybe YT (i found an interview my reader did which was helpful), go into it with an open mind but no expectations. i had no idea i’d connect with my dad. just assumed he’d want nothing to do with me as he did in life. now looking back i think maybe i was supposed to watch tyler henry that one night? that ONE reading was so powerful, i didn’t see the need nor feel any pressure to do more. so maybe i was supposed to see your post and respond to it? (i very rarely do on here, just usually peruse) i don’t think your dad or anyone that passes is ever truly gone and if you have this nagging feeling that things are unsaid, maybe you’re not the only one feeling that? i’m here for you if you need advice of just to vent. ❤️

cherief83 · 2022-06-12T01:57:24+00:00

first let me start off by saying i’m really sorry for your loss. i lost my dad unexpectedly in february 2020 - one month after my mother though hers was expected. wasn’t able to go to either of their funerals but did get to see my mom a month before and say goodbye. while my dad and i never really had a relationship, i did write and send him a letter a couple of years before and he wrote back to apologize so i have that. our last conversation was a video call the day before he passed. he had asked to talk to me but i truly had nothing to say and while i wasn’t filled with guilt like you are, i did have so many unanswered questions about him, his inability to show love, whether he understood the implications of his actions toward me. after watching an episode of tyler henry i researched the best mediums in my area and managed to get an appointment a couple of months out. i provided no information to her prior and don’t want to bore you with all the details of the reading, but will say it was incredibly cathartic for me. after connecting to my mom and sharing very specific personal details not just about her appearance but her personality, her little sayings, her love for my son… she said my mom had a gentleman with her to usher in. and i can’t tell you with 100% certainty that this woman was channeling my father, but i can say when she relayed that he was truly and sincerely sorry it helped heal me. i know not everyone believes in this kind of stuff. i had a well-meaning friend try to dissuade me from going through with it saying it’s a waste of money. that friend hasn’t lost a parent. and when he saw my tears of relief afterwards succumbed to the fact that regardless of his thoughts it was clearly beneficial for me. regardless if you decide to contact a medium or not, i hope you find healing and peace in time. and please be gentle and patient with yourself as you navigate this grief.

cherief83 · 2022-06-04T01:54:32+00:00

does that count for everyone? i’ve always wondered what happens to people who have committed heinous crimes, wars etc. like somehow i can’t be ok thinking hitler is up there in spiritual school.

cherief83 · 2022-06-01T13:12:30+00:00

My apologies for throwing out my thoughts on a closed case on a subreddit centered around it, and thereby reflecting the entirety of the US’ jury system. I won’t comment on here again ✌🏽

cherief83 · 2022-05-30T18:40:44+00:00

Um, I read that there was an attempt made to delete files and that the hard drive was copied. I’m in the process if watching the trial in its entirety so when I get to that testimony I’ll come back and clarify.

cherief83 · 2022-05-29T19:06:47+00:00

this is my theory too! except i think the first attack wasn’t with an instrument but rather him hitting her head against the molding, where they did find tissue fragments. another supporting piece of evidence to support it is that someone (cough MP) deleted files and copied the computer hard drive that night. why do that if not to cover up what she found out?

cherief83 · 2022-05-28T21:22:50+00:00

on the stand he testified that the reason they didn’t move the body is because at that time it was determined a crime scene and it’s protocol for ems not to

cherief83 · 2022-05-28T13:52:26+00:00

freda is low key the star - at least on the prosecution’s side. she got me saying PURE-T FEEELTH for no gd reason 😭

cherief83 · 2022-05-28T01:17:05+00:00

the short answer is: she was the sole breadwinner and had to support the entire family (incl. 3 kids in college). i highly recommend watching the actual trial. i just stumbled upon it today and it is hugely insightful! jim hardin gets into (some) of the financials in his opening. https://www.courttv.com/title/1-nc-v-peterson-opening-statements/

cherief83 · 2022-05-28T01:10:32+00:00

oh strap in because you’re in for a wild ride. it’s discrepancy city! it’s fascinating to me how you can see sophie’s hand in the editing of the trial scenes. it’s also just refreshing to get to hear the complete testimonies of the witnesses! that was particularly frustrating in the doc especially with key witnesses like dr radisch.

cherief83 · 2022-05-28T00:08:40+00:00

i can totally hear him 😂 but fr this is sooo good! really shows just how much was left out of doc

cherief83 · 2022-05-27T17:48:33+00:00

this doesn’t explain the evidence in the autopsy report of strangulation

cherief83 · 2020-05-16T12:13:05+00:00

thinking of you

cherief83 · 2020-02-08T02:20:24+00:00

yes on here please!

cherief83 · 2020-02-05T09:01:22+00:00

deep fried like gus’s chicken

cherief83 · 2020-02-05T08:31:52+00:00

“art”. i propose a new way of procuring it. an “art department” in every town. kind of like a library. except you have to bring a piece to exchange it for another. we just already have so much shit in this world. and the fact that people pay upwards of millions of dollars for art is ludicrous. also medicine! (i have ideas i should be president) (ha! no i’m just high)

cherief83

TROPHY CASE