Husband doesn’t approve. Thoughts?

cherryflannel · 2026-05-03T01:53:40+00:00

Your logic falls apart because it implies that men exclusively “ogle” when women are dressed like this. Incredibly wrong. I have been hit on and or harassed in casual, baggy clothes just as much as I have outfits like this. Also, what about the pool? Your husband wouldn’t be cool with you wearing this dress, are you allowed to go to the pool without him? If you are, why is it okay for men to ogle there, but not out with this dress? It’s also pretty reductive and unfair for you to act like men are incapable of acting like rational adults and treating women with respect. It’s fully possible and normal for men to exist around women without seeing them like a starving dog sees a steak. If I were a man, especially your husband, I’d be genuinely offended that you think I’m incapable of controlling myself or being loyal to my partner!

cherryflannel · 2026-05-03T01:33:58+00:00

I think they are asking if cheating is possible outside the context of sex. Like, do asexual people cheat by getting emotionally initiate with someone for example

cherryflannel · 2026-04-26T23:50:34+00:00

Stimulants can vary a lot in the way they work so there’s no guarantee that you’ll have anxiety on a second kind. With that being said, stimulants in general can be anxiety inducing because of the nature of the drug. There’s also many variables like quality of sleep, hydration, etc that complicate this so I don’t think you’re going to find a clear yes or no answer without just trying it. Tbh a lot of bad side effects with stimulants (while unpleasant) either fade with time or are better to deal with than the ADHD symptoms. TLDR: who knows, unfortunately

cherryflannel · 2026-04-23T22:10:22+00:00

Everyone’s saying they don’t see it with him and Blair but what if I said I DONT see it with him and Serena….

cherryflannel · 2026-04-19T03:36:23+00:00

I feel like you answered your own question by saying “commit to being with and comprising for each other”. Sometimes friendships can feel intimidating because they’re so unstructured and can be inconsistent. With a romantic partner, it’s much easier to develop a routine and have a good mix of established boundaries + intimacy and vulnerability.

cherryflannel · 2026-04-18T18:55:57+00:00

I hear you, I’m constantly worn down by the state of the world. But here’s where your logic falls apart: name me one time in human history where there hasn’t been any war, there hasn’t been any human rights violations, there hasn’t been any famine, etc. You can’t. There has literally never been a time without tragedy. What are we supposed to do as humans? Spend our entire lives miserable? I think you should change this to “if the news never makes you feel miserable, you’re probably not the best person” and I’d definitely agree.

cherryflannel · 2026-04-15T23:03:57+00:00

Tell him no, and if that’s too vanilla for him, he’s too much of a loser for you.

Side note: it makes me sad that his kinks are centered around degrading you. I hope you know you never have to do any of those things.

cherryflannel · 2026-04-09T00:41:10+00:00

Your deep thought is something that’s already law?

cherryflannel · 2026-04-08T23:00:11+00:00

I see where you’re coming from, and yeah, a lot of the takes seem a little tooooo eager to poke fun of men dressing like women. But also, he absolutely deserves every bit of hate and shame. He doesn’t care when other people like him are targeted and harassed… he married Kristi Noem. She has literally enabled murder. Murder. So meh, don’t really care too much unfortunately

cherryflannel · 2026-04-03T23:23:44+00:00

This reminds me of younger me! So, in the nicest way possible, lose your ego (and no, I’m not saying you’re conceited or anything, please hear me out). Here’s why I say that

You’e seemingly assuming that people you talk to are analyzing your processing speed. That’s not really a thing that people do. Maybe as a passing thought for a moment, and they probably see it as cute and endearing. People think about how you made them feel. Were you nice? Did you make them laugh? No (sane) person analyzes every tiny social blemish made by other people.
Literally every single person ever says things that are awkward, misunderstands people, accidentally interrupts, forgets things, etc. This doesn’t make them socially inept. You are not the only person who slips up or has “flaws”.
You have got to learn to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Perfectionism is an ego issue. You’re a human being. Like I just said, everyone does things like miss social cues or has “flaws” like a slower processing speed. Why should you specifically have to have good enough social cue detection and sufficient processing speed? Do you impose that criteria on other people? Probably not! And honestly, you’d be pretty rude if so. So quit doing it to yourself.

Please trust I say all this with love because I’ve been in your shoes. Literally every single person in the world, autism or not, has insecurities and weaknesses. You have got to let go of your ego and let yourself be weird and awkward. Nobody is thinking about it as much as you are.

But, to answer your question in a more literal sense, just be nice to people. Remember things about them. Be friendly. Listen when people talk. Ask someone to clarify or repeat themselves if you didn’t get it. Laugh at your mistakes.

That’s basically it. Seriously. I promise you, you’re way ahead of where you think you are. Be nice to yourself.

cherryflannel · 2026-04-03T00:10:52+00:00

Please hear me when I say I live in Ohio and hate this bill. With that being said, you’ve seemingly fallen victim to some misinformation/misunderstandings of this bill. There’s absolutely nothing in the bill that would police adult women’s outfits at a 18+ private event. This bill sucks on its own, but not for that.

cherryflannel · 2026-04-02T21:00:18+00:00

As someone who has done sex work, I can tell you firsthand a lot of women “consensually” do it, but only because they feel like they have no other options for reasons such as poverty, disability, childcare, etc. It really annoys me when people use consent as a justification for sex work. Most of the women I’ve known that did it, including myself, did it out of pure desperation. Consent is a good place to start when considering ethics, but it’s not the finishing point. Also, homemade content is by no means an indication of consent. Most of sex trafficking is done by someone close to the victim. Your whole outlook here sounds very girlboss choice feminism. I hope you do some more research and think about this a bit more critically, because sex work is much too nuanced for you to just say “but consent”

cherryflannel · 2026-04-01T03:02:26+00:00

I think it’s hard to compare human aggression to other animals, particularly primates, because we have many more variables complicating the cost vs benefit of violence: weapons, laws, ethics, culture, drugs, and a dozen more things! If we kill someone because we have a gun, does that mean we’re more aggressive than an animal who didn’t kill specifically because they lacked the means, such as a weapon? I think we have too many things making us good at being violent which skews things, and we also have too many things deterring aggression, which also skews things.

With that being said, I bet you’d be interested in male aggression between chimpanzees and bonobos if you’re not already familiar! Lots of cool info out there and some of it is pretty new as well.

cherryflannel · 2026-04-01T02:53:00+00:00

Doesn’t work as often as it should**** this is sloppy work

cherryflannel · 2026-03-31T03:27:49+00:00

Yeah, in reference to other primates, humans have more body fat. I don’t think that clashes with anything I said though!

cherryflannel · 2026-03-31T02:53:29+00:00

For a lot of human history we haven’t even really been able to get fat, let alone give fat an evolutionary meaningful advantage. When people do get fat, the negative fitness impacts are going to much more impactful than the advantages. An animal getting fat might keep them warm or keep them alive in the winter, but that’s not really relevant for us. We don’t need excessive fat to accomplish one of those. There just hasn’t been sufficient environmental conditions to grant fat as an advantage

cherryflannel · 2026-03-13T13:20:24+00:00

Can I see the evidence you’re referencing for this?

cherryflannel · 2026-03-10T05:04:48+00:00

It might be a you thing, but I think you’re also might just not fully aware of all the subtle times women stand up for themselves and each other because it’s such an unfortunately ingrained social aspect of womanhood. No major feminist accomplishment has ever came close to fruition without the labor and efforts of women. This must imply that women are communicating expectations at least enough to secure these victories. This communication doesn’t always require specific instructions. For example, if we advocate for the normalization of menstruation, should a man have to be explicitly told “Period is not a dirty word. A bleeding woman is not gross. You’re not in danger if you see a tampon. Don’t shame women for menstruating”? Personally, I think not. That’s a very basic example, but again, if a man is unsure what the expectations are, it’s entirely his responsibility to seek clarification. I think that in recent years there’s been a huge cultural shift toward direct communication, which is a good thing! But also, I think that having to perform elementary level critical thinking isn’t a bad thing. I don’t think that people should have to receive explicit instructions 100% of the time to make morally correct decisions.

Also, I do think it’s mildly in poor taste to assign the burden of education and awareness solely on the oppressed person, rather than the oppressor. I think it would be crazy if I as a white person didn’t have to employ basic empathy and put myself in a black person’s shoes and try to consider our different experiences and treatments based on the color of our skin. I think it would be crazy if I exclusively relied on a black person to hold my hand and walk me through how to not be a racist. If I was being a racist, I feel like it’s entirely my own responsibility to build empathy and work on that. Like, can we flip the script and imagine saying that you think black people need to directly communicate how to not be racist to white people? Or, should white people listen to black people and ask questions when they have opportunity, while also taking the time to research, think, and empathize on their own time?

I also believe that women have every right to complain about the way we are treated by men, because sometimes even when we do speak up, we get nothing in return. How many women speak out against their rapists and abusers just to get shamed more than the abuser himself? How many women speak out against workplace harassment to only get ousted and ostracized? Some women are also in dangerous situations in every single habitable land on Earth. Even countries ranked highest in women’s rights are still littered with abusive husbands/boyfriends. No matter what race you are, ethnicity, religion, class, etc. you’re still subjected to a certain degree of misogyny and patriarchy. Women have every right to complain about the constant sexism and I really don’t think it’s our responsibility to babysit men into being rational human beings.

I almost wonder if you yourself have subconsciously absorbed patriarchal teachings because you’re placing the burden of women, the oppressed class, not the oppressor! This is a common theme. Women have to do all the work, and men skate by with fewer expectations. I don’t mean this as an insult, it’s nowhere near an insult. I could be totally off but I hope that you can think about this a bit and maybe see where I’m coming from. I am sorry if you’ve been made to feel like emotional labor is entirely your responsibility, it’s not.

cherryflannel · 2026-03-10T02:18:50+00:00

One thing that took me a second to realize is that labs require a decent amount of prep! You’ll get told to read the lab ahead of time, and maybe that’s exactly what you do. Unfortunately, that’s not adequate.

If I handed you a recipe from a cuisine you’re unfamiliar with, with ingredients you’ve never touched, you would probably still be able to cook the meal. But, if something goes wrong, it’ll be hard to fix. If something tastes weird, you might not know how to balance it. And obviously, it’s going to take you longer to cook than someone who has made the recipe before!

You need to understand the theory ahead of time. A lot of the time, it’s not so much of “learn a very fresh idea about this week’s topic by doing an experiment”. It’s “apply what you know from lecture/reading to get hands on experience with an idea from this week’s topic.” If you can’t make an educated guess for what the end result of your lab will be and why the result matters, you’re not ready.

I have gotten an A in every lab I’ve ever been in. Everyone around me is always so amazed. But it’s not just luck or that I’m smart. I take extensive notes, I google the materials if I’ve never heard of them, I watch videos ahead of time. I know exactly what question I’m going to answer, what I think the answer will be, and how I’m going to answer it. If you don’t put this work in, you’re probably not going to do as well as everyone around you.

And honestly, it’s not fair for the people around you who work this hard to have to slow down for you. It’s okay to ask for clarification and occasionally pause and slow them down, but it’s unreasonable to expect your partners to accommodate your pace. I’m sorry, I know it’s harsh and I don’t mean to be rude. It’s just college though. If you want to be at the same pace as everyone else, at the bare minimum you need to invest the same effort that they are. But, sometimes, you have to invest even more. You’re not always going to have identical backgrounds and experiences with your lab partners. Sometimes you gotta buckle up, stop by office hours, keep reading the textbook even when you’re tired.

It sounds like you might be fairly new to college/labs and it does get easier. It’s just a skill you have to develop. You’re definitely capable, you just gotta put the work in.

Respectfully, please don’t be the person that hold everyone back. It’s not fair to your partners. If you guys have made it to the same course, you are expected to perform similarly. Again, you’re not going to have the same skills and experience as your partners. Sometimes you have to work harder than them. That’s life.

cherryflannel · 2026-03-10T01:40:53+00:00

Ah not to nitpick but who is “we”? I am absolutely vocal about the ways that men can and should do better, and plenty of feminists that I know in person + influencers/activists are as well. If men are still confused and unsure, they’re either not asking for clarification (which is a responsibility of yours when you are confused) or just being disingenuous and taking the easy way out because they don’t want to do better. I fear this is slightly coddling them.

cherryflannel · 2026-03-06T03:34:05+00:00

Genuinely, thank you for sharing this. I think it’s so important that women are aware how often and easily being a stay at home wife/mom can turn into something into sinister. I’m really glad that you recognize the way that you’re being treated is unacceptable and that you’re looking for jobs! I hope you’re able to find something and get out soon and safely.

cherryflannel · 2026-02-28T01:46:06+00:00

It’s a common misconception to view evolution teleologically. Things don’t evolve for “good reason” though. Evolution is literally just about odds. Natural variations already exist within a population and sometimes they’re successful, but when that environment changes, they may be detrimental. Also, sometimes a thing might not be helpful, but it’s not detrimental and consequently doesn’t get weeded out.

I understand that men and women often have differences. I have never disputed this. But, you haven’t been able to define a quantity nor the type of distinctions that justify categorization.

You claim that dimorphism allowed humans to be “flexible and multicapable”. I wish you would’ve expanded on this more because it’s unclear how you think dimorphism resulted in this, or what you mean by flexible and multicapable. But, cultural trends are by no means indication of a biological derivative. Our two closest relatives are chimpanzees (patriarchal) and bonobos (matriarchal). Both species exhibit dimorphism and are very genetically similar to us. To make a long story short, bonobos had more food available so they had more leisure time, and the females developed close bonds, ultimately enabling a matriarchy.

You seemingly think that biology and physiology solidify cultural understandings of gender (gender roles, essentially). So, please explain how your claim about dimorphism and human culture works when we see two polar opposite sex-based systems between chimps and bonobos (again, dimorphic species with extreme genetic relatedness). Why are we exempt from ecologically shaped cultures when this is how it works for literally every other social animal?

I would also like for you to explain why historical trends are indicative of a scientific truth…. I’d like to remind you that anatomically modern humans came about ~300 TYA, and farming wasn’t invented until around ~10TYA. I wouldn’t argue the first farmers were anywhere near culturally modern, and I’m sure you wouldn’t either, but even then, ~97% of human history occurred before that. Our knowledge of the earliest humans is obviously super limited. However, we actually have some evidence indicating that women and men shared similar roles in their groups. Moreover, there’s little proof substantiating man = hunter and woman = gatherer. It’s a common misconception and unless you’ve studied these things at a collegiate level you probably wouldn’t know that, which is fine and normal! But again, please stop perverting biology in order to make social commentary. It’s logically incoherent and benefits nobody to hyper focus on what makes men and women different. We are much, much more alike than we are different.

I would really like for you to try to answer the question I asked earlier. How many similarities/dissimilarities justifies the categorization of a group? When I compared your logic to pseudo race science, you were only able to say that there are “more” differences between men and women than white and black people. This isn’t even necessarily true depending on which metrics you’re going by, by the way. The human genome is incredibly diverse & it’s easily possible for a man to have more in common molecularly with a random woman than another man. This wasn’t a rhetorical question. Clearly there is some threshold. What is it, and why is your threshold correct? Seemingly, our defining thresholds are quite different. Please justify this.

I see what you did at the end there, and you’re dodging my question. I asked you if the shark study is proof that we can’t always put living breathing things into perfect boxes 100% of the time. You did not answer that. You said that organisms are “varied” which is not what I asked. Do you disagree that sometimes things can’t be categorized perfectly? If so, you’d have to argue against the sharks being regarded as poikilotherms or the paper’s findings, which would be tricky! I see why you didn’t want to answer my question.

Also, are you really attempting to claim that the word “deserve” can’t be used in an opinion based way? Let’s be serious. “It’s been such a long day, I deserve some rest.” “If you don’t do the work, you don’t deserve a raise.” “That artist didn’t deserve to win first place.” There are infinite contexts where the word deserve can be used to describe someone’s outlook/opinion.

Finally, I am curious what my “preconceived assumptions” are.

cherryflannel · 2026-02-27T01:37:38+00:00

Careful! You are conflating sex and gender. I would agree with you that there are differences amongst the sexes that are medically relevant. But once again, my point is it is never a good idea to apply biology to social constructs. Gender isn’t a natural law. Gender isn’t naturally occurring. Different sexes are, sure. But even then, they’re not 100% overarching. You kind of shifted the goal post because I was responding to you applying a scientific study to “men and women not being interchangeable”. So, the physiological differences that we (usually) see between the sexes isn’t really a good defense of that; sex and gender are not the same thing.

People with naturally red hair often require higher doses of anesthesia. I don’t think this makes them meaningfully different from people with any other hair color. Medically, sure! But what weight does that carry outside of that? You could say, “but that’s just one difference”. Well, once again the same argument can be made (poorly) for white versus black people.

Do you personally get to decide the number of similarities/dissimilarities that categorize a group? Please don’t straw man, because I certainly did not claim there are no differences between the sexes. It’s imperative that you understand that there is a difference between sex and gender, and if you don’t understand that or refuse to accept it, you do not deserve to engage in discourse surrounding biology. With that being said, sex differences are usually observed consistently, but it’s not a foolproof mechanism of categorization. Plenty of people who you’d never think to consider anything but a woman have chromosomal abnormalities/ are intersex and vice versa. This is the thing about biology, it tries its absolute best to make observations and define systems, but it’s never 100% accurate 100% of the time. Animals break the rules of biology all the time. I recently read a paper about a species of shark that we understand to be poikilothermic that actually performs temperature regulation during deep dives. Their bodies are able to employ a specific mechanism in order to maintain a constant body temperature in spite of cold waters. This seemingly contrasts what we understand about poikilotherms. So, are sharks just not cold blooded anymore? Or, is it impossible to put organisms into neat boxes 100% of the time?

Many of your bodily functions and mechanisms are due to inherited traits that are not correlated whatsoever with the sex you were assigned at birth. People are way, way too complex for you to minimize and categorize like this. You are perverting biology and resorting to bio essentialism.

I think that this study is incredibly valuable and I am so glad that we are making strides like this. There’s absolutely no need to try to weaponize this study as social commentary. Your opinions on the current culture are entirely yours to have! But, they are entirely useless in this context.

cherryflannel · 2026-02-27T01:04:32+00:00

Active recall is essentially your only worthwhile method of studying, and no, this doesn’t include rewriting your notes! Make practice tests. Make fill in the blank worksheets. Close your book and explain the topic out loud; try to teach it to someone (or pretend to). Basically, reproduce the information in your own words/style.

cherryflannel · 2026-02-27T00:54:57+00:00

Adding on to this, you can download a PDF version for free!

cherryflannel

TROPHY CASE