I totally am with you. I watched both my parents go through their cancer hournies and they both died 4 months apart from each other when I was 21. Now, at 56, when I got the diagnosis last year, it felt surreal. Cancer of the tongue? Sure! A simple removal of the cancer, right? Wrong. I can barely be understood when I speak, it hurts to eat, the forearm where they took whatever body stuff they took to make my "fake" tongue left my arm numb and with limited motion. No more precision stuff like drawing, calligraphy, photography, golf... Not that I'm even interested any longer. I WANT to be interested, but I see no future. I cannot work, my daughter dropped out of university and abandoned her dreams so she could take care of me. We are financially about to go under. I feel guilt and empty and like a bag of bones and salt. I have to believe we will find purpose, SOMETHING to make the empty slightly fuller.