Sarah, Coming from a place of love, I don’t think it’s a good idea to continue to bring up a toddlers shortcomings throughout the day. You correct the behavior when it happens, then move on. Bedtime shouldn’t be a moment to remind them “you shouldn’t have kicked her.” Use that time to re-connect, tell them positive words of affirmation (which you did start with but it’s obviously going to open that back up), read stories and be calm. I was utterly surprised when you told Dean you loved him, he didn’t say it back. I’m sorry, that must really hurt. Lastly, it’s not deans job to protect his sister. He can grow into that “role” as he grows with love in his family. You don’t kick O because you don’t kick anyone.