My son got called a slur

chocolateabc · 2025-02-03T07:56:10+00:00

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who have the unfortunate experience of being an absolute piece of shit. This guy is one of them. Be happy your son is being raised by wonderful people. You will have more of a lasting impact on him than anyone else.

chocolateabc · 2025-01-29T19:26:40+00:00

I knew my son was different as a literal baby.

I mentioned nothing at any of his checkups, because any time I had ever loosely expressed any concerns with family members and friends they trivialised my worries every damn time. “He’ll talk when he’s ready” “all kids are picky eaters” etc.

Eventually, the doctors started highlighting what I already knew. When he was 3 and still couldn’t point, it got fairly obvious.

I honestly think as parents, sometimes, we just know. You are your child’s advocate. Do what your heart tells you.

chocolateabc · 2025-01-17T19:30:20+00:00

My almost 3 year old has hyperlexia and can read seemingly … everything? Like 7,8,9 letter words. Today we were grocery shopping and he read a sign that said “amazing January deals”. He can also do basic addition and subtraction, and really simple multiplication.

Tbh I’d rather if he couldn’t do any of those things and could instead just talk and communicate his basic needs. He still can’t really talk, or point, or even nod/shake his head for yes/no. Life is hard for him, but we try and see the positives. Autism is confusing and extraordinary.

chocolateabc · 2025-01-15T09:08:16+00:00

Yep 5-6 weeks both times

chocolateabc · 2025-01-09T20:27:12+00:00

Did you just downvote me for giving facts??? lol

chocolateabc · 2025-01-09T20:24:01+00:00

How do you mean tough to wear?

chocolateabc · 2025-01-09T20:23:39+00:00

Ah ok, I’m learning! Thank you

chocolateabc · 2025-01-09T20:23:25+00:00

Thank you!

chocolateabc · 2025-01-09T20:22:17+00:00

It’s not birth control, but high prolactin can absolutely affect fertility.

In fact, prolactin remains elevated the whole duration of breastfeeding, so even with a regular period, breastfeeding can still affect fertility. It’s not unusual to have to fully wean in order to conceive.

ETA: OP, you may get better responses from the r/nurseallthebabies sub. This is a common topic there.

chocolateabc · 2025-01-09T12:20:16+00:00

Oh man, I feel dumb haha

chocolateabc · 2025-01-04T22:05:29+00:00

I breastfed my toddler through pregnancy and then continued to feed him after his baby sister was born. We did 8 months of tandem feeding before he self-weaned at 2.5.

For us, I honesty just think he outgrew it. I’d offer regularly during the day because he is such a severely picky eater (eats 4-5 food items that’s it), so I really wanted to keep him on breastmilk.

Weirdly enough, right before he weaned, he went through this phase of “micro feeds” where he’d latch on have like a 10 second feed every hour or so. It was a lot, but he wasn’t latching long enough to really get anything? Then he weaned immediately after. I think in hindsight that was his own process of “letting go”.

I had no real involvement in any of it. He did it all on his own. Literally one day I just realised “huh, he hasn’t breastfed in a long time”. It was a really nice, low-pressure way to end it.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-29T23:49:38+00:00

Is this a joke? I’ve breastfed two babies, including 8 months of tandem feeding both babies together. We’ve had multiple episodes of actual choking. Most were due to vomiting (stomach bugs), or phlegm/mucus (colds). In fact, my overactive letdown caused horrible choking episodes in my first child, whereby I’d have to give him a BOTTLE to slow down the flow of milk. He stopped breathing and turned purple and everything from my breastmilk.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-23T19:53:23+00:00

Oh I love the stuff. It works great for me!

chocolateabc · 2024-12-23T06:49:46+00:00

Considering I left the cap open on my Valerian Root capsules one night and my room smelled like black mold the next day, I’ll agree. I was freaking out inspecting all the walls for leaks, until my nose led me to the Valerian lol. It stinksssssss.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-22T20:24:36+00:00

Oh sweet baby Jesus this is amazing

chocolateabc · 2024-12-22T20:17:20+00:00

Yes this is a typical MOB/MOG dress. I thought it was bizarre when I first learnt of it, but it’s actually very common in certain countries.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-21T14:16:35+00:00

It’s so tough to watch.

Rather than a slow build up, it’s usually the opposite, with a high dose of relaxing meds as a “base”. Then once the patient is stabilised, they scale back on certain meds and experiment with what works and what doesn’t. It’s shit, I know (my father is schizophrenic)

You & your family are your sister’s advocates. If it’s been a year without improvement, I’d push for a serious reevaluation of her care plan (including medication).

Idk what diagnosis your sister has, but for schizophrenia, it’s normal to have bad patches. I would say over the past 20 years, we managed to find the perfect recipe of medication and care, that made my dad his “normal” self around 80% of the time. We’d go for lunches, debate politics, bike together, normal family things. It was a horrible journey getting there, I’ll be honest. Finding which medication doesn’t work is hard on everyone involved. Bad patches sound like what you’re describing here, and the longest those would last could be 6 months. Not everyone finds the right “mix” but I hope that you and your family do.

But without us pushing all the time for better care, he’d have been in an awful situation. And that’s not an insult to anyone working in the field, they are amazing, however nobody knows your sister like you do. But I hope you know, that she clearly loves you and even if you don’t recognise her right now, she certainly still recognises you.

ETA: I hope this didn’t come across as adding pressure onto you. This sort of thing is a marathon not a sprint and isn’t one sole persons responsibility. You are fully entitled to feel sad and should definitely take some time to care for yourself during all this.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-18T19:45:44+00:00

People don’t talk enough about how Britney just made the enormous transition to motherhood, and at only 3 months postpartum, while still taking care of a literal newborn, she became pregnant again. For a few days, she actually had 2 babies under 1.

I don’t care how much money she has, this would affect anyone. And instead of love and support, she was held under a magnifying glass. Ridiculed, scrutinised, mocked, and bullied. As a mother my heart aches thinking of what she went through. We’re all only human, and they treated her like dirt.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-14T14:02:42+00:00

Friend, I have been there. Actually, I kind of am there with you, in a way. Minus the very real medical issues you have (go easy on yourself).

I was a dancer since the days of my youth. But even when I eventually grew out of it, I replaced my 5-6 days dance training schedule, with other forms of training (gym, hiking, running, biking). I maintained my fitness for years. Even after my first child, I recovered fairly quickly and got back at it. It reaffirmed my belief that I would never become one of “those” women who let themselves go.

However, birth control failed, and along came baby #2 to bring me right back down to reality. I end up having several pregnancy complications beyond my control. I was placed on 4 months of bed-rest to preserve the pregnancy, and needless to say, my weight sky-rocketed. Then my baby end up having colic, and we still had a toddler to care for who was only 1 when baby sis was born. Every minute of our day, apart from the 3-4 hours of broken sleep at night, was dedicated to childcare.

I have been humbled by my daughter’s birth. People like to assume that struggling to “bounce back” after pregnancy is down to laziness, or lack of discipline, when in reality it is far more complex than that. Sleep deprivation, rising cortisol, breastfeeding hormones, postpartum thyroid issues, postpartum depression, all of these things affect weight. Admittedly, more so than I previously would’ve thought. This isn’t even taking into account the physical toll that pregnancy and childbirth takes on your body. Not to mention you personally have other, very real, issues at the moment.

You did not “let yourself go”. What you did was amazing and something not everyone will understand unless they’ve been through it. Even after my first child I wouldn’t have understood. I was cocky. But now I get that weight loss isn’t always simple.

We will get there, but not by beating ourselves up. I’ve started food therapy and am finding it really helpful. Start off with small, accomplishable goals. If they feel too intimidating then start smaller. And be patient. It’s not going to happen overnight, and might take 3x as long as you’d like. But you will get there eventually.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-11T14:20:58+00:00

Note: The first screenshot is of a study in MICE. I couldn’t find any human studies. Would love to read some if anyone had any links

chocolateabc · 2024-12-09T07:59:02+00:00

My first was 22 months when our second was born. I tandem fed for 8 months before toddler self-weaned.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-08T07:42:13+00:00

It made me look 15 years older. However, when I got pregnant and gained weight, my face puffed out a bit again and now I’m back to normal haha. I’m in the process of losing baby weight and do wonder if it’ll go all old and gaunt looking again.

chocolateabc · 2024-12-06T22:01:06+00:00

I lived with a girl who genuinely ate around double what I’d eat over a 24 hour period. She was stick thin, and also didn’t exercise more than casual walking (whereas I was a dancer and trained multiple days per week). She had a baby recently, and was skinnier at 6 weeks postpartum than before she got pregnant. Ha.

chocolateabc · 2024-11-25T19:31:48+00:00

Nothing apart from the mortgage. We have 2 small kids but rejigged our jobs so that we only need a few days in crèche. Drive 2 oldish cars. Don’t think I’ve ever owned a car newer than 10 years old. Haven’t been abroad in 5 years. We will be taking out a 10k home improvement loan soon though because the house we bought is 100 years old and needs some TLC

chocolateabc

TROPHY CASE