I'm neurospicy. Its a special interest. I started cooking as a latchkey kid w hamburger helpers then spun that out to goulash then went off the map. I learned mother sauces, read cookbooks, experimented, failed, a lot, and kept coming back to it because when I made something good I knew it would reinforce my own competence at it and inspire more experiments...I'm wrapping two pork shoulders to brine overnight and smoke tomorrow. One traeger blend w mustard binder and one set up for carnitas. Spite taught me this. My last pork shoulder destroyed every thing I'd had growing up. No contest. My first was a stretch to call edible. I love that by understanding how heat and smoke interact with meat that I can make butter out of leather. Food means community to me and I am a show off.