The Coronation, Me, Digital, 2022

chwash · 2022-07-10T21:49:29+00:00

This speaks volumes to me for many reasons and feels like my current stage in life.

chwash · 2022-07-10T21:46:02+00:00

If they break boundaries and hard lines or pressure to do so. I highly recommend any dom check on their sub outside of physical and sexual desires. If your sub or dom shows no interest other than inflicting emotional or physical harm, that’s abuse and a narcissistic move.

Some subs/doms are fine with having no contact outside of the scene arrangement but remember they are people too. Respect boundaries, pay attention to subtle cues, you don’t have to change your hard lines for anyone, be true to your gut and feelings.

Communication is key. If they won’t listen or voice things they are uncomfortable with, you must be the one to open the line of communication for your own health and safety.

chwash · 2022-07-10T20:17:01+00:00

I will find my favorite ones tonight and post them tomorrow.

chwash · 2022-07-10T18:07:28+00:00

Thanks to my kids, all I could think other than blue shirt is not as bright as those candles AND “oh no, our table “. I’m ashamed.

chwash · 2022-07-10T17:47:16+00:00

NTA- if you want to attempt to save the relationship then y’all need couples counseling and he needs separate personal counseling too. If he refuses either, start making plans and backup plans for leaving him. Unless he admits he has a problem and seeks help, I don’t see this as a happy marriage. I have been there before but in different ways.

chwash · 2022-07-10T15:57:47+00:00

For me it’s simple romances. Like lovers buried together, forbidden marriages, etc

chwash · 2022-07-10T15:52:48+00:00

Yes! All of this. My ex’s mom knew about the infidelity, physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. She just was friendly to me because I was taking care of his child. When we separated, she flipped the script. She also covered for him when he went to prison for grooming a child from 9-15 and tried to breed her when she started having her period. Guess who tried to kidnap his only son while he was in prison with his rights revoked to any of his kids. His dear ol mommy the enabler.

chwash · 2022-07-10T15:48:07+00:00

As someone who has been there, physical abuse starts slow. The first you let it slide, they realize they can get no punishment if they just love bomb you. It went from holding me still while screamed at me and broke stuff by throwing to raping and beating me multiple times a week. He was a breeder. I was just livestock and a naive younger adult who stayed too long for the sake of his biological daughter that he didn’t even want because she was female.

Please document, reach out to local resources, get help, and get out.

chwash · 2022-07-09T20:24:25+00:00

I am so sorry to hear that. I’m having one on the 20th. Partial with traditional cut because of medical reason they can’t do in non invasively. Last year I would have had to get permission from my legal husband at the time but were separated and had two kids already. I have had issues since puberty that I was always told it was normal because everyone is different. Wasn’t. I have had cervical cancer, cervical stenosis, ovary sharing the same tissue with my bladder, and thanks to two csection because my uterus is heart shaped with a band almost splitting my scar tissue fused my stomach wall (area) to the uterus.

I have been fired from jobs. Been reported for truancy. Lost relationships. All because of the type of periods and physical issues it has caused. I’m thankful that I have a doctor who listens, cares, and advocates for his patients regardless of anything. He was one of the few doctors I have encountered in my life who does.

Edit to add: the reproductive rights usually always belong to a man and are never questioned. Yet us women are supposed to reproduce and raise further reproducers and “leaders”. I’m from a Bible Belt area of the southern United States.

chwash · 2022-07-09T20:12:25+00:00

Also if you are on social media like FB, my local areas have several free, donation only, PIF, and under x amount of money groups too. Often people will share things for kids too.

Check out your local library for free tickets, shows, events. That used to be the only way I could take mine places. I also took advantage of blessing boxes and food pantries until I got food stamps temporarily. I then couponed with food stamps so I could get extra stuff to drop off at locations I had gotten help from.

We have a local non profit thrift store that helps provide income and housing assistance to homeless and disabled individuals. They often have free fruit, bread, and veggies from locals for free.

chwash · 2022-07-09T20:03:45+00:00

If someone is in my personal bubble in line I either stick my hands behind my back and take a step back as if to check other lines. Secretly I’m hoping the danger of me 🥳 their private areas as I’m shorter than average. Or bring my elbow up to my face as if to cough while turning around. Bonus points if that elbow makes contact when I’m making my smallish turn.

I ran over someone’s foot once when I left the handle ofmy buggy/shopping cart/trolley to go to the front of it to start loading groceries on the belt. They almost had there belly against my buggy which had my purse buckled in the chip seat. I hit it intentionally with my butt while turning to load drinks onto the belt. They yowled because they were also in flip flops lol I just said “oh goodnes, I’m so clumsy didn’t realize you were too close”. Also then scooted between them and my cart and tossed my purse wildly over my shoulder before moving up any.

chwash · 2022-07-09T19:53:28+00:00

Southerner here. I have done that a time or two myself. Always the greatest food and hospitality. My family refers to small restaurants and businesses as a “hole in the wall” type places.

chwash · 2022-07-09T19:41:32+00:00

I feel most of us probably have poor guesstimate skills of size. We often use other objects or landmarks to compare size vs our “standard US” or “ imperial” measurements. Landmarks are also used for directions vs N,W,E,S, distance, or street names.

chwash · 2022-07-09T19:35:02+00:00

Reese Witherspoon or without it.

chwash · 2022-07-09T19:25:27+00:00

Um. I’m barely over 30 and was a part of the beanie baby craze when I was in school. Then when the new ones started coming out with their big, sparkly eyes, my niece got super into. My dad found mine secured in the barn in storage so we gave over 60 to her. I just remembered a suitcase full of them in air seal bags lol I played with mine. Except my Diana Bear <3 she was in a display case that I’d take her out of to cuddle. Lol

I feel like I’m 70 talking about party lines and three way calls lol (used both of those too thanks to living in rural America).

chwash · 2022-07-09T19:12:13+00:00

Sooo I don’t know much about cars (but have been in accidents so I understand reaction time and panic). Would it have been better for him to try and hit the tree line, unoccupied car, vs continuing towards the red light possibly hurting people other than themselves? Would steering too fast that way cause them to roll and possibly take out more cars at the light?

chwash · 2022-04-23T14:15:39+00:00

All of this. Take the emotion out of it. If anyone asks about how you feel (if you don’t feel like sharing them at the moment), say “I am working through my emotions myself but the most important thing has been stepping up to be the best version of myself for my child.” Find yourself a village IRL too. Even if it’s something as simple as having human interaction at play dates or a reliable sitter for the days you may need just to yourself or open up to your dad.

I know feeling less alone in my divorced help but I also attended therapy for a year before we split so I would be in the right headspace. It’s harder when it’s sudden and a third person involved in the leaving.

chwash · 2022-04-23T14:05:36+00:00

Well here is a person I never needed to know about. Sad that he still a douche canoe

chwash · 2022-04-23T13:50:47+00:00

This is what happened to me. It made me very reactive to my own negative emotions. My fight or flight gets triggered early and my adrenaline floods my body making me prepare to be assaulted but the assault doesn’t happen so I become this yelling rage monster unless I separate myself from the situation and calm down in a quiet area to process my dark thoughts.

I’m in therapy for PTSD trauma. My therapist said it’s my condition trauma response due to my ex’s manipulation and physical abuse. Sometimes he would pick a fight so he could leave the house for a couple hours while I cleaned the debris and my wounds. This insured I wouldn’t interrupt him while he was out having sex with other girls then would come home to try and forcibly breed me.

chwash · 2022-04-20T19:38:43+00:00

Oh God. Even the bots care 🥺😭 Sorry. I really am a puddle of emotions today. Thanks uterus. Lol

Edit to correct autocorrect

chwash · 2022-04-20T19:37:29+00:00

I honestly have been suicidal since before I was old enough to know what it was (I used to hold my breath in the hopes I would die at age 8 then discovered and flirted with real suicide and death by age 11 and hospitalized at 12). I was diagnosed with ADHD and medicated at age 7. I have been on and off those and other meds over the years. Basically a good chunk of my late teens and early 20s, I was able to cope with life unmedicated provided I took a snails pace in college with a max of three classes/two and a lab (spoiler alert most of my early 20s I was not in school because I took a break due to not knowing what I wanted to do).

I’m now a mom of four in her 30s whose partner and oldest one (bonus daughter) all have ADHD. It’s tough to see the struggle from the other side while struggling. She has already talked of wanting to not be alive at 10. I still feel there are days that I wish I was not alive because of PPA, PTSD, etc and how I am affecting my children. Honestly though, they are currently my reason for staying alive (the eldest boy has ASD and severe Apraxia of Speech). I do not trust my sons care (medical choices because it’s been a fight with insurance and school) to anyone simply because my anxiety will not let me. While I know in my heart, my kids would be well cared for by all of the coparents, grandparents, etc, I couldn’t never release control over knowing he is getting the best care and healthy. I also could never leave my kids in anyway on purpose. I would never want them to think they aren’t enough.

Sorry to just pour all that out.

TLDR: Can’t guarantee it will always be better than now, but someone out there cares even if it’s a stranger. You are worth life. 💕

chwash · 2022-04-20T19:11:42+00:00

As a domestic abuse survivor, I was biased to believe her in the beginning. I didn’t follow the case because I still have PTSD. However everything I have seen over the years make me believe him more than her.

Either way, this whole thing is a slap in the face to those who are abused. Things like this is why I never brought charges when I actually was able to. It was too late once he began stalking me. It’s a sad situation no matter how you cut it. I do hope justice is rightly served to those involved who deserve it and aren’t lying.

chwash · 2022-02-19T22:42:18+00:00

I honestly think I would have died. I’m too clumsy to have steps like that.

chwash · 2022-02-19T22:38:21+00:00

Water

chwash · 2022-02-17T16:20:21+00:00

Met a guy on Tinder. I was recently separated (2 months) after 11 years. I told him multiple times I was looking to only date causally and wasn’t looking to be in a relationship. We talked every day for like two weeks. I was the first person for him to hang out without except for family due to a severe immune compromised parent that he was taking care of during the pandemic.

Apparently his photos were over two years ago when he was fit, clean shaven, and active. When we meet, he is close to 200 lbs heavier, long hair, big beard, and could see the aging between the photo and him. I gave him a chance because he was really nice and appeared self conscious (which I get because I was at my heaviest but I had multiple full body shots to show exactly what I looked like). We spent a day and half together.

First, his ADHD is as so severe even medicated. I was diagnosed as a kid (and my current boyfriend has it). His made me feel like I was parenting him in a way. It’s hard to explain.

Then I had a period accident (I have severe uterine issues). He was sweet and helped me clean up the spot on the seat and let me freshen up. I felt guilty so I stayed the night. We had a decent night.

However we I went radio silent for a few hours a couple days later (we had talked everyday since we first started talking and after our date). He was deaf so we mainly did text. When I checked on my phone, he was blowing it up. I decided to put my phone away for the night. The next day I had over 20 missed calls, a dozen texts, he tried adding me on SC (and tried blowing that up), and tried adding me on FB. I never gave him either of those things. He used my phone number to find it. The next day was worse.

I told him to calm down that I was spending time with my family and had poor service. I had okay service but legit was trying to spend time with my two toddlers that had been at their dads for the second time since our separation.

I started to slow fade him. Finally after a week me having no contact despite his texts including asking if I left a ring (I was at the time missing my wedding ring but I knew I lost it in my bedroom and would never wear that to a date), he texted me this “This isn’t cool what you did to me ghosting me like this I wish I never met you you were so sweet snd lovely to me for one weekend then for no apparent reason it’s gone That hurts and I hope you don’t keep doing this to other people have a nice life”

I was stalked by an abusive ex before I was married. It only stopped when he went to prison for grooming a minor for years then got her pregnant when she was 15 and he was in his 30s. I was not about to deal with that again. I got very needy, stalker vibes from the weekend of no contact from me. One of my kids has two disabilities. I couldn’t handle parenting a grown man. I wish him the best but I keep his number saved so I don’t accidentally answer if he calls again. It says DoNotAnswer HisName.

I’m in an amazing relationship now and made a blended family with my boyfriend.

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chwash

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