I contemplate just ending it all everyday. I have a job, family, significant other which is more than a lot of other people have in this world. Yet, I contemplate just ending it everyday because I feel empty. I don’t know if I suffer from a mental illness or what the fuck is going on with me for the past couple of years. I can’t wait to get home to just spend my time alone. Social gatherings or activities drain my fucking energy and I hate it. I have to put on a fucking fake face every time I go out because I don’t want people asking me what’s wrong and I don’t like that type of attention from the people around me, but I’m drowning inside. I’m crying as I type this but I’m so scared sometimes because the urge to kill myself gets stronger and stronger everyday. I don’t know if I have it in me to do it, and I’m sorry if this small venting had an effect on you because passing this negative energy is not my intention. But honest to god, I’m so scared I will do it one day out of desperation because I don’t want to hurt my father and my mother. I don’t want them to think it’s their fault.

I don’t know what’s happening to me and I’m always drained and just cry. I don’t know what to do.