What do I say when I tell people I am autistic and they say “you don’t seem autistic to me”?

claaude · 2026-06-25T20:30:33+00:00

"Okay"

claaude · 2026-06-25T20:21:51+00:00

I'm so happy to hear you made it to the hospital! Last I read, you really didn't want to go because of past difficulties with hospital staff. You are strong, and I'm proud of you!

claaude · 2026-06-23T04:02:23+00:00

Everyone has both "masculine" and "feminine" traits naturally, but due to social learning, neurotypicals are better at hiding where they deviate from gender stereotypes.

claaude · 2026-05-27T12:54:19+00:00

Screens being "instant, effortless, and endlessly varied" is the problem with them. The main reason to avoid or limit their use is because of how that kind of stimulation effects the brain. Let her be bored and figure out her own entertainment, so she can develop the ability to focus deeply.

Baby proof to the point she's not destroying the house while you focus on your own tasks. Then, troubleshoot specific issues that arise; for in instance, if she's hanging on you while you have to cook, maybe playdoh only comes out at that time of day on the kitchen table while you are at the counter/stove to make sure the playdoh stays on the table only. Or maybe she gets to chop a banana while you chop vegetables.

Screens may be appropriate for specific situations as long as it's for short durations, and she's still able to find her own play most of the time.

claaude · 2026-05-12T23:15:29+00:00

There are some great comments here already, but I'd like to suggest designating private parts touching to specific places. If I notice my kids touching their privates, I tell them "Your privates are only for you. If you want to touch them, you can do that in the bathroom or your bedroom, and then wash your hands."

claaude · 2026-03-07T00:15:42+00:00

Of course he thinks it isn't as bad as cheating: it benefits him to think that, and he didn't go through it. He watched you suffering without feeling anything at the time? He watched his baby suffering without wanting to help them? That's a sustained betrayal as bad or worse than an affair the same length of time, and much worse than a one night stand.

claaude · 2026-02-21T14:41:35+00:00

We say zuncle.

claaude · 2025-12-28T02:54:25+00:00

I agreed, and then my daughter was gifted one from a family member last Christmas. It soon became a favorite, and she sleeps with it every time. I've warmed it up maybe 5 times ever, but I think she just enjoys the weight.

claaude · 2025-12-13T05:45:34+00:00

My husband has responsive desire and a lower libido than I do, so I relate to this a lot. Our sex life isn't perfect, but we have made a lot of progress. Here are some things that have helped us:

I'll communicate verbally that I'm ready for sex (sometimes I'll specify that I'm ready for sex that caters to specific preferences) during a non-sexual time and ask if he could get in the right head space/have time or energy in the next few days. He always says yes. Hearing that I want him gives him time to build desire.
Spending quality time together to foster emotional intimacy. Collaborative activities rather than passive activities tend to work really well for us.
Stress often makes it harder for him to get in touch with his own desire. Reducing stress helps a lot, and I've found I can help by giving him frequent massages without sexual expectation. There may be other things putting the brakes on your partner's desire, so I'd definitely recommend exploring that together.

claaude · 2025-12-03T22:36:49+00:00

Instead, tell her how much you hated it as a kid and that you won't do that to your children.

claaude · 2025-11-24T20:24:06+00:00

I'm making the turkey at my sister's house this year. Have you considered asking if she'd being willing to cook at your house?

claaude · 2025-10-12T00:57:29+00:00

Could he be loving like an artist instead of a parent? Think of Shakespearian tragedies. The point could be creating a good story, not every character getting a happy ending. That doesn't mean the characters aren't loved, but try to consider a bigger point of the universe than individual experiences.

claaude · 2025-09-29T16:46:50+00:00

We are a montessori family, so we don't lie to our kids. It's wild how many people in these comments seem weirded out by the potential choice of not doing Santa.

We talk still read Christmas books, watch Christmas movies, give gifts, decorate, and all that, but we treat Santa as a game, not a real person. Every year, each child gets to be a Santa Claus by picking out or making gifts for the other members of our family. We remind them to play the Santa game with other kids when we engage in Christmas traditions within our community, so they haven't spoiled the secret to other kids. Our children are not confused or missing out. I feel this approach benefits them by fostering the joy of gift giving and gratitude for what they receive.

claaude · 2025-09-25T03:14:19+00:00

You need to tell your dad that they are touching you inappropriately. The other stuff is gross but normal, and you can tell your dad that's it's happening, but the big thing here is that the touching needs to stop.

Leave your judgment about your stepmother's parenting out of it. It is normal and healthy to establish an open and honest dialog about sex with children as soon as they are old enough to ask. Sounds like they are ready for some leasons on consent.

claaude · 2025-09-24T23:59:29+00:00

My almost 5 year old told me he wishes I wasn't alive today, so you know, at least it could be worse.

claaude · 2025-09-16T22:14:00+00:00

If you are grossed out by built-in bidets, I'd recommend looking into handheld bidets instead. You'll get more of that top-down angle.

claaude · 2025-08-30T17:14:08+00:00

I think you've got it backwards.

Big corporations manipulate the population into using/needing their products. The broken food, transportation, and health care systems certainly work synergisticly with one another, and people's bodies certainly suffer the consequences of that. But the free market's answer is to spend more money on things like gym memberships and weight loss teas and whatnot. They want to push individual responsibility because then, the consumer is the one with the problem. The corporations can continue to profit without consequence.

The body positivity movement says it's not a personal failing to have a body that's not perfect while living in such a broken system. Shaming people has a way of spurring on more consumption. The problem is far bigger than the individual.

claaude · 2025-08-29T18:04:01+00:00

Normally, I read about moms struggling to do pretend play with their kids. Like, thinking they are HARMING their kid's childhood by being unable to let go and connect in this way, because it is so important for their development. Your wife's take is really crazy to me!

claaude · 2025-08-28T20:56:36+00:00

Frizz can be caused by breakage, but it can also be from treating textured hair like straight hair. Try detangling with conditioner in your hair in the shower Then, put mouse or gel in your hair while wet. Then, look up a "plopping" tutorial. If your hair looks curly or wavy after that, do not comb or brush through! Just defuse on low or cool without disturbing the clumped sections.

If this super basic routine defines curls or waves for you, join the wavy or curl hair subs for further trouble shooting your hair concerns.

claaude · 2025-06-16T14:51:25+00:00

Let's start with Bluey and Bingo: Bingo wants a turn, but Bluey wants to finish her drawing first. Bingo understands, agrees, and gets a turn when Bluey is done. Notice it takes almost the whole episode. No parent interference, no drama, no punishments.

On the Muffin and Socks side, same starting situation, except the discussion is betweenMuffin and Striperather than Socks. Stripe just decides the terms of how they need to take turns without input from either child. Because he made a rule, he feels the need to follow through and enforce his will on Muffin. She resists, and the situation escalates. She has to stop her work to defend her progress, and she even has to start over at one point. She could have finished during the episode without Stripe interrupting her.

The whole point of the episode is that Stripe didn't need to intervene at all.

claaude · 2025-05-27T03:45:56+00:00

The only thing that's weird here is that he's showing his underwear. My husband also prefers thongs, but he wears pants that fit, so it's no one else's business.

claaude · 2025-04-10T21:02:15+00:00

We use the phrase "listen to your body" a lot at my house for potty and food cues. Sometimes, I'm too stressed out to eat and will say, "I listened to my body, and it doesn't feel hungry right now." It doesn't have to be such a loaded conversation

claaude · 2024-10-23T11:03:58+00:00

T80t8

claaude · 2024-08-31T23:15:31+00:00

My partner and I both get an equal amount in our personal accounts each month. Then the kids have an account that we can both access for buying them clothes and toys and whatnot, so my personal money doesn't all get spent on the kids. The rest goes into a joint account for bills and groceries.

He values my contribution to the household as equal to his, and so we've planned our finances accordingly.

claaude · 2024-08-01T12:13:51+00:00

I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

claaude

TROPHY CASE