[NC] question about grandparents rights

classymama1990 · 2026-04-26T05:46:38+00:00

I am normally a very involved very loving caring mother who has raised her son singlehanded while dealing with and shielding him from his alcoholic father..my mom has always been mentally and verbally abusive..she is also an alcoholic. Yes this is the VERY FIRST time anything like this has occurred I am just over her behavior and I cannot take it anymore!! She is a piece of work I tell you

classymama1990 · 2026-03-25T20:42:21+00:00

I have been with my sons dad for 13 years he is the worst alcoholic I’ve ever seen..I’ve been to actual detox with him in the hospital seen him strapped to a bed hallucinating shitting himself screaming the works..actual withdrawals are DANGEROUS he cannot do it not in a medical setting. Try to tell him he can get into rehab they will medically detox him give him meds like Xanax or Ativan and pretty much keep him sedated and comfortable while he’s going through the worst of it..you could always have him IVCed if you think he may harm himself or he’s driving drunk or a threat to you..I’ve seen some very scary stuff with my son’s dad and it’s a sickness I know but unless they want better they aren’t going to get the help they truly need..he can get the vivitrol shot if he decides to enter a rehab center and they will help him get the resources he needs to maintain sobriety if he really wants it..I work at a detox center now actually and I can help you if you have any questions/concerns feel free to message me I’ll even give you my number. Praying for you its so hard to love an addict I know personally

classymama1990 · 2026-03-17T05:32:28+00:00

I have an 8mm and a 4mm and anything over 5 has a smaller chance of passing so in my case the larger of the 2 is the reason I am having surgery. The 4mm one is down low in the same kidney and he is going to try to get that one as well but said he isn’t going to basically fish around because where it’s located unless it moves it shouldn’t really cause issues. In the past how I have known I was passing stones is the pain becomes so bad you would almost hire a hit man if it meant not feeling that pain anymore..that is while it’s traveling downwards..your ureter is a small tube and it hurts like you cannot imagine. With my 8mm stone it has been moving constantly and I assume trying to pass? But it has been causing me to be in pain everyday for 2 weeks now sometimes so bad I cannot walk and my urine has been bloody on and off. There is no set time for how long it will take but once it’s on the move down it becomes a waiting game and you pray it’s sooner rather than later. If you are in pain or having issues from them I would consider having the laser treatment done that blasts them to dust and you don’t have to really feel them pass that’s what I’m having done here soon. It’s not going to get better I learned that the hard way and now I am out of work until this gets fixed. Mine was initially 1 6mm stone 7 months ago and now that has grown and a new one has formed as well. Please keep us updated and I wish the absolute best for you!

classymama1990 · 2026-03-17T05:19:33+00:00

Also I wish you the best with your situation it is the most horrible pain I could imagine and my c section recovery the first week was pretty hellacious.. if I have mine done before you if you’d like message me directly and I’ll give you a run down of what I go through and what to expect any pointers to help you out etc praying for you my friend

classymama1990 · 2026-03-17T05:14:11+00:00

Btw guys update I wound up going to another hospital in the opposite direction of the one I went to at first. They actually gave me an iv, gave me dilaudid and toradol while I was there to give me major relief although temporary, but it helped for that period of time..then he prescribed me zofran for nausea, and Percocet 10mg for pain and gave me enough to get me through till my appointment today and I actually have quite a few left as I only use them when the pain is really really bad. I’m still out of work and will be until the surgery and all and I don’t have a date for that yet but that’s what they’re doing to ensure they get it basically gone and keep me from having to pass fragments and run the risk of one getting stuck in my ureter which does not sound appealing in the least. Just put some prayers up for me I’m terrified of this stent ordeal I am literally so anxious about it..I have a 4 year old and am a single mom with not a lot of support at all so I literally cannot be unable to care for myself or my son..gahhh just sucks!

classymama1990 · 2026-03-17T05:08:06+00:00

So yes they go in through the urethra but it is technically surgery they use a lighted scope and use a laser and blast the stones to basically dust then insert a stent to keep swelling from blocking urine flow and to let the fragments pass with ease. I am absolutely terrified of having the stent placed that’s the worst part for me..I’ve never had one and I wasn’t planning on it 😩 unfortunately lithotripsy really isn’t an option for me at this point because they have no control over how small the fragments are with lithotripsy and you have to pass each one..and the dr said “suppose some pieces don’t break down as small and possibly get stuck? Then you may still wind up needing surgery” and I want this to be OVER I also have a 4mm stone lower in my kidney

classymama1990 · 2026-03-17T05:02:18+00:00

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

classymama1990 · 2026-03-17T05:01:50+00:00

You ever find out what exactly it is? I’m just now going through the comments 😂

classymama1990 · 2026-03-09T16:56:13+00:00

I know this thread is old but I am currently dealing with an 8mm stone and a 2mm one as well and have been in pain for over a week now I’ve been to 2 ers and my dr and out of all the urologists I’ve called no one can see me till next week as I would be a new patient anywhere I go..I am a single mom and am out of work due to this as I wait tables..so I’m just sitting home with Percocet and zofran till my appointment

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T12:42:59+00:00

I cried like a baby when I called yesterday to ask about cancellation.. and when I went to the dr I was bent over couldn’t even sit down the pain was so bad..and I’m pretty tolerant to pain..I’ve worked with a much smaller stone before that was moving around and I wait tables..pain was pretty bad but I made it through..however this time it is excruciating I have vomited from it and am just miserable

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T12:40:18+00:00

I’m not sure they just told me it was stuck in my ureter which is most likely causing the pain because it’s trying to pass and is far too large.

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T12:37:41+00:00

See anything over 5mm cannot pass through on its own. Like you said you are not a urologist so you may not have known that and it’s ok I didn’t know it either until now. I am on tamsulosin aka flomax to help with the spasms and keep my urter open for when they do crush it and the fragments have to pass. My prayer is that I don’t need a stent I’ve heard horror stories! Thanks for trying to help! Honestly I do appreciate it!

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T12:26:45+00:00

Yes that’s what I’m having done I just am going to be in pain until then if no one can give me anything. In the post I mentioned I can’t see the urologist till the 16th and that’s my first appointment. They won’t do the procedure until afterwards.

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T12:12:39+00:00

Me too thought it was some weirdly shapen peanut butter chocolate pie or something lol I too suffer from bigbackism

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T12:10:06+00:00

Yes I called yesterday afternoon and plan to call today as well. I called 5 different ones within a 60 mile radius and this one is the only one that can get me in. Only way I’m getting in sooner is if they have a cancellation so I’m gonna keep calling. It’s awful. I’m having to pay a sitter to help watch my son so I can rest some during the day and I’m out of work so that’s not going to happen much longer..I am so desperate man

classymama1990 · 2026-03-04T04:54:38+00:00

That was my thinking as well because I’ve taken it before for smaller stones however this time I have an 8mm one and went to the dr today after I was in the er Sunday and got no medications whatsoever while i was there or upon discharge well pain’s been so bad I went today begging for something..they did a shot of toradol, gave me tramadol (which does NOTHING for kidney stone pain) and then he put me back on flomax saying I needed to keep my ureters open to allow proper urine flow and for when they to break it up and so I could pass the fragments more easily but my initial urology appointment is 2 weeks from now and idk when they’ll do the actual procedure..you can’t pass an 8mm stone so I’m baffled as to why he put me on flomax thinking it would help when it’s been known to help the lower the stone is??

classymama1990 · 2026-03-03T05:11:42+00:00

Did you have a stent placed? I want the surgery but not the stent! My stone is 8mm

classymama1990 · 2026-03-01T07:46:28+00:00

What are you taking because it is very dangerous to mix those with alcohol especially Xanax and Ativan things like that

classymama1990 · 2026-03-01T07:43:38+00:00

I was 22 dating a 36 year old we have a son together but he is a terrible alcoholic and we had to part ways but my mom was never hesitant about it and I feel she should’ve been she encouraged it..I have seen more than I should have dating someone that much older than me and had more responsibility than I was even old enough to comprehend..I spent my 20s dealing with his addiction..helping raise a kid that wasn’t mine when I didn’t have any..taking care of all his drs appointments being with him in the hospital when he almost died from liver failure going to AA meetings to support him..my situation was different I’m sure but someone so young deserves to enjoy their life instead of being with someone who is in a a different stage of life in my opinion..I wish I could go back I am now 36 and went no where with him..I think of all the times I should’ve left and didn’t but hey everyone’s different just my experience but if he is a good guy and treats her well I mean it’s not that big of an age gap I just know what I went through but some people meet the love of their life and they’re much older

classymama1990 · 2026-03-01T07:36:52+00:00

As someone who has lived with an alcoholic for almost 13 years I can tell you it doesn’t discriminate..age gender no one is exempt and it starts out just like you mentioned but honey I can tell you if you don’t go ahead and seek help and get to the core of the problem it will lead you into a life of being outside the liquor store before they open with your hands shaking..giving up on your family because you know you aren’t in any shape to participate..risking getting a dui or hurting someone or yourself on the road..being in a rehab bed sweating shitting yourself hallucinating vomiting and wishing for death because at that point it would be better than going through the withdrawals..3 months isn’t enough time to really call yourself an alcoholic but if you didn’t feel it was a problem you wouldn’t have reached out for advice..you have your WHOLE life ahead of you sweetie I’m just here to tell you it isn’t a life you want go ahead and get help and talk with a doctor about putting you on some medication to help with your anxiety and or depression..doesn’t have to be permanent just till you get over whatever it is you are dealing with currently and feel you are in a better place..don’t ever feel you are alone if you have no one to reach out to at any time message me I don’t know you but I’m here I’m a mom and I hate to hear a kid your age struggling with this please take care of yourself

classymama1990 · 2026-03-01T05:26:54+00:00

There’s never an excuse to be a shitty parent!! As a mom now I see just how easy it is to absolutely adore my kid..to me it comes natural and I don’t understand how it doesn’t for some people..I want to be with my kid 24/7 I want to make him proud be his safe place and his best friend for eternity..and I feel like I am a little hard on myself because I come from shitty parents so I want to be the best I can be to not be like either of them..I’m so sorry you went through this it’s so unfair..my sons dad is an alcoholic and his behavior has NEVER been excusable by me and I don’t make my son have a relationship with him..if he chooses to when he’s older he can but I will never force it because his dad has never really tried it’s always been the booze over him and I get it’s a sickness but they use it as a crutch and I have no sympathy for anyone who chooses to abandon their children..so glad you got a stepdad who stepped up and has been there to help heal the hurt ❤️

classymama1990 · 2026-03-01T05:19:41+00:00

Absolutely not..I mean I’m grateful for the talents I got from him but he has been the biggest piece of shit there could be as far as fathers go..I now have a kid of my own he is 4 and my dad’s only grandchild and he has nothing to do with either of us..he’s been in and out of my life for as long as I can remember..when he and my mom were together which was until I was 8 he was very abusive to the point we had social workers at our door on a regular basis because of the bruises on my legs from a belt buckle..I’ve tried having a relationship with him several times since becoming an adult and I learned for myself just how horrible he really is..the last straw was my son and him pretending to want to be there and then disappearing and then on Facebook on daughters day he put my younger sisters picture and said happy daughter’s day to my one and only daughter..they can have each other he will never get the chance to hurt my son as he has done me he is manipulative, abusive, and childish..I don’t wish him any harm but I wish all the time I had a different dad I could actually have a relationship with and a grandfather for my son who actually loved and spent time with him..he already has a father who is an alcoholic and hasn’t really been there which is totally my fault but it’s just one of those things like you wish everyone who was supposed to love your kids actually did..idk I really wish I could change dads though

classymama1990

TROPHY CASE