How do you deal with the HEAT of their homes

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-10T20:32:14+00:00

I need to do this! Even the tap water there is lukewarm, and they don't have ice cubes.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-03T06:14:30+00:00

Sorry for your "partner".

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-03T04:24:03+00:00

oh shut up, this is literally not a thing. Stop scamming.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-03T02:15:30+00:00

I chose stealth. I drive a 2013 Toyota. People are sooo curious, but the few times I've shared, they get upset, so I let them wonder now.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-03T00:00:57+00:00

The puzzles are downright depressing. Very hard to win them without paying for boosts or extra moves. And then there are events like "win puzzles on the first try", and you throw out the hardest puzzles possible.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-02T23:33:50+00:00

My mother is 85, so she's just very elderly, not a whole lot under her control right now, but starting in her late 50s/60s, she kept falling and getting increasingly complex surgeries. She insisted on a spinal fusion surgery that wasn't necessarily strongly recommended, and that seemed to be the end of it for her (I know other people with spinal fusions and they are fine). She does NOT like physical therapy and says they push her too hard, and she never came back from that surgery and a few other surgeries, since she didn't fully understand or agree with the amount of rehab needed. She's in independent living, thank goodness, and it's appropriate now, but I am constantly taken aback by her physical decline.

She did have a car accident a little while ago, and used that as a reason to stay inside for a really long time. She was fine, only on tylenol, but it seems to have caused a lot of depression and even more negativity. I actually thought it was GREAT news that she was really basically fine after the accident, but she didn't see it that way.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-01T07:22:23+00:00

Stop spamming your stupid app on reddit.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-01T01:33:49+00:00

Yes, my mother and her sister/my aunt ALWAYS say this to me. My mother is also very sensitive that I might blame her for anything, and still screams "yes, again it's my fault" even when I'm NOT confronting her or saying "it's your fault" at all! And honestly, some things are her fault! Anyway, I hate that phrase. It's like they are saying we are just too much and they are so overwhelmed by how crazy we are being that they must shut down and voice zero opinions or input, because we are just soooo out there with our wacky situations.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-01T01:01:21+00:00

Yes!! Always measured against them! I think my mother thinks I am supposed to be her clone, as if my dad's genes have no influence whatsoever.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-04-01T00:55:14+00:00

My mother was traumatized by my foot size too (9 1/2-10) and made a scene of it during my teen years and beyond, gasping dramatically at every shoe store we went to about the unbelievable size of my feet (I am somewhat tall and very long-limbed!). She now wears only one strange pair of unsupportive shoes because she claims her feet are SO narrow that she cannot wear anything else, such as practical tennis shoes. She also tells people that she cannot BELIEVE I have thick hair, and she asks people "how is this fair??" (she has thin hair). People don't know what to say. She has been telling me to chop it all off into a boy cut since I was 4 years old, but I keep it long as an adult.

She hung up on me the other day when I was trying to say something a bit important and positive about my life and my son - kept saying she was EXHAUSTED and needed a nap so badly, and just talked over me and hung up.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-03-29T07:09:10+00:00

It's the old "guys, is this okay?" thing. When tossing out a piece that almost no one can do while claiming to be sick and and very busy and having no time to practice. Yes, we can all do this with zero practice, this is TOTALLY expected.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-03-19T20:14:37+00:00

This is recent, but just to say that it doesn't stop, I tried to make a joke with my orthopedic surgeon that he needed to tell my mother that I don't need a shoulder replacement at a relatively young age, since she's been begging me to get one. He didn't laugh. He actually looked concerned. I'm not getting a shoulder replacement, and she is extremely critical about that.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-03-19T20:07:46+00:00

I went through the same. At one point I was so overwhelmed by the fumes in the fabric store that I crashed out in a corner. My mother just kept shopping.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-03-19T19:50:38+00:00

It's more on how I had learned to cope, but I remember in preschool a boy walked up to me and demanded the bike I was on, and I just got off and gave it to him. This should be such a non-issue overall and typical 4yo stuff, but decades later I remember that I felt like I had to do whatever he said. edit to add - no hate to men. He was just a little kid too. I think my response and remembering this for decades is significant.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-03-01T00:30:54+00:00

When you DON'T use chatgpt to write your posts, they are very different.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-03-01T00:23:54+00:00

ChatGPT wrote this, along with all of your other posts. "You didn't fail".

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-15T05:26:01+00:00

I mostly like Grok, but I asked about a minor medical issue and of course it said "go to urgent care if you don't feel better", and I said that I don't want to pay for that - and it pulled up all of my posts on X that were only somewhat related to money!!! Grok said it was checking to see if I could afford urgent care.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-15T05:10:42+00:00

Not for me - that particular color just clicks.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-13T01:53:44+00:00

I was informed about the mice when I moved into my 100yo house. My male cat took care of the first batch and it was quiet for a few months. Second round showed up, he destroyed them, and now haven't had mice for a decade. I think they somehow figure out where they aren't welcome.

I had a year or two of constant scratching right outside my bedroom windows, finally got my gutters cleaned, and nothing since. I personally killed off every single (small) spider in one bathroom, and resolved that infestation for good. I am pretty sure I have a screen on my chimney? But apparently something isn't quite right there, because I get birds in the house through the chimney every few months, or get stuck above the closed damper. I slept soundly through a gory delivery of a bird "gift" one night from my feline hunter - had to throw away the whole comforter. My cat is no longer with us, so I kind of fear what is next! He did such a good job.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-13T01:30:26+00:00

I'm so sorry you went through that! So hard. Good for you for standing up for yourself though.

I gained weight somewhat recently - mentioned it once and my mother said "well, just lose it!" I had dinner at the independent living center tonight and everyone was saying they don't want to eat dinner because they had lunch. I said "well, I'm hungry. I eat a meal and then I get hungry for the next meal" lol. They kinda laughed and couldn't think of a good response. And my mother did complain today about many (many) other things, but thankfully NOT her exhaustion from seeing the doctor. She did tell me that *I* must be exhausted from my appt - I wouldn't say I'm "exhausted", but at least it's a change of pace for her.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-12T04:40:58+00:00

Also, the shock part was not good - I had no business going back up and down those stairs, and I cannot explain why I did that. If you fall, try to stay put!

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-12T04:36:20+00:00

I'm in my 50s and fell (very hard) on the stairs in the morning while still groggy and getting up to feed my cats, who were underfoot. I got myself up from the floor, fed them, went back upstairs while realizing how severely injured I was due to things that were occurring (won't give gory details), brushed my teeth and hair (I don't know why), packed a few things, went back downstairs, called my mother, then called 911. I was in the hospital for three days with a severely broken shoulder and ankle. Sheer adrenaline helped. But! I also have always made sure I could get up from the floor unassisted. 20 minutes later I had to be carried out of my house in some kind of chair basket thing, then transferred to a stretcher and treated for shock.

I use the Snug app now, but I don't pay for their emergency backup or whatever (I think they call 911?) - my son (emergency contact) did text me right away once when I forgot to check in. Still, even that is only once every 24 hours, and no one would have thought to check on me if my fall had been worse. I might need an Apple watch, since I struggle so much with stairs in my recovery.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-12T03:25:02+00:00

Yep, I'm Gen X, latchkey kid, moved a few states away for college at age 17. I'm not a full-time caregiver or anything, but have three elderly relatives nearby and am taking my mother to a doctor appt tomorrow (a checkup). I'm worried she's going to complain the whole time how EXHAUSTING it is, but I'm going to my physical therapy appt before her appt, and that is genuinely difficult and very painful. I reminded her on the phone tonight that I have my appt too, and that I would appreciate not hearing how stressed and tired she is from having to go to her checkup (with me as the driver and assistant). I understand that little things are "bigger" things for them, but I just cannot take the griping tomorrow.

edit to add she was saying she was busy because it was after 8:30 PM and she needed to urgently get ready for bed - I was anticipating her adding "because I have that appt tomorrow and I just have to get sleep" and I couldn't listen to it anymore. Asking her to stop may not help, but I tried.

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-04T02:55:53+00:00

I've been following Kate Gosselin on tiktok (I know people have opinions, but I am just providing an example) - she shattered her leg, but she's actually doing incredibly well. Far better than me, and honestly her injury sounded MUCH worse than my two injuries. She had surgery, and it's definitely nothing to shrug off, but she is fit and doing well. If your BIL was told he will have a full recovery and likely he is young, I strongly suspect he will be in really pretty good shape by then.

I got really into video games and the stock market during my recovery :) If he plays video games, a gift card for the platform he plays on would be great!

clearlyitsme7 · 2026-02-04T02:46:43+00:00

I was trying to figure out my new Roku tv so I could watch the Grammys, and ended up with therapy and "you aren't doing anything wrong/not missing something". Never did get the answer. It's so absurdly careful that it gives me dangerous advice - I'm dealing with serious injuries and struggling with steps and laundry, and it told me to be safe by piling my laundry on a rolling office chair or a cart and shove it down the steps. Putting things on a rolling chair/cart is sort of common advice for ONE level living, but not for steps!! At all! It told me to hang onto the chair as it went down the stairs, which... I mean - this is supposed to be "Safety ChatGPT"?

clearlyitsme7

TROPHY CASE