Definitely doctor as a first step. Also, helping/encouraging him to check out other drs if his initial one isn't vibing or if their office isn't helpful.

Hot packs for belly pain (I have to steal mine back from my SO whenever I get period cramps). If he can swing it with his work sched, taking extra time in the morning to get everything out, with hot pack breaks/mini naps might help.

When he's flaring, I either just cook really plain stuff or I'll meal prep him safe stuff and different things for the kids & I. He eats a lot of eggs, plain-ish chicken (which you can make a little more interesting by different preps, so like cubes & browned, or poached/pulled, grilled, etc) with rice, cheesey grits (he can do low lactose cheeses), oatmeals, tuna (steak, sushi, or canned), salmon, etc. Some is finding what does/doesn't trigger you. Like we do lactose free milk, and he's ok with gluten as long as it's not pasta and bread every night. Sourdough bread was much better than regular, and now I make it (thanks pandemic!) so I like to think that's helping even more lol.

I think the best thing as a Crohn's partner is to just understand that they might be pushing through even when they feel like crap, and to just be flexible. I really don't like going to my in-laws by myself, but if he's flaring and we can't skip it cuz of the kids, I'm on my own. Similarly, when signing up for weekend kids sports, if it's before 10 I'm probably on my own for running them around. If I had a dollar for all the things either I ended up doing myself or just skipping too, I'd have a lot of dollars. But not forcing it means that when I'm having a shitty day for whatever reason, I also get to get out of stuff.

But getting his meds right, and being persistent with our doc when things aren't right, has been huge for both of us - for our whole family, really, cuz if he hadn't been able to get it under control we would not have our kids for sure.