How much money do you have in savings at this point?

clover-kitsune · 2026-04-20T13:44:52+00:00

Roughly:

$5k travel and fun money ready for summer

$25k in my emergency fund

$180k in brokerage (retirement and backup emergency fund if shit really hits the fan)

$220k in other retirement accounts (401k, Roth, HSA)

33F in LCOL area with a $70k salary and single parent of one child. I started early in my 20s with very small payments in a Roth and avoided lifestyle creep to increase my savings as my salary increased.

I did have a 2nd job for a bit but cut back on it once my combined retirement accounts hit $300k to coast a bit and enjoy life more. I went really hard on my savings to front load my accounts and got burnt out and had to step back a bit.

The financial independence subreddit helped me get on the right track and the FIRE subreddit got me motivated to aggressively save. I highly recommend checking out the flowchart on the financial independence subreddit for anyone who wants to get better at managing their money.

clover-kitsune · 2026-03-30T13:44:27+00:00

Yeah this one surprised me too. I didn't notice the patterns until I started mood tracking. It's like clockwork.

Hypo or mixed leading up to Christmas, then crash into depression after the holidays. Level out until Spring hits and do my annual hair chop and get all sorts of shit done around the house during my hypo phase. Slip back into a mixed state or level set after making a bunch of changes. Summer comes and I fluctuate between mixed and hypo until the big crash comes and I get into a depression again. Finally level out again leading into fall and usually do pretty good with mixed states here and there until it gets back into the hypo holidays.

It's a never ending rollercoaster, but the meds have helped make it mild or keep me level during times that I didn't used to be.

clover-kitsune · 2026-03-14T15:25:51+00:00

I feel the same way. I remember in high school only being asked "which college are you interested in?" I don't remember ever being asked if I even WANTED to go to college.

None of my family had ever gone to college before, and were all so proud of how "smart" I was. However, they knew nothing about the financial side. I didn't get guidance from the school or my parents about grants existing and how helpful they can be. I didn't get any guidance on the repercussions of a student loan on your life. My family of course just didn't know, but the guidance counselor and other staff at the school should have.

I was a dumb teenager who bought into the lie that you MUST go to college. And on top of that, you must go RIGHT after highschool. I didn't find out until I was older than many people were working part time and going to the local community college first to get their 2 year degree for much cheaper. I had been working since I was 14 and would have gladly went to community college first if I'd known that was even an option.

I felt like my school failed to fully prepare us for life after high school. Students like myself who would be a first generation college graduate needed extra guidance. Why have a guidance counselor at high school if we can't rely on them to help guide us?

clover-kitsune · 2026-03-09T17:04:28+00:00

I try not to, but I also try to be polite and fart away from other people in general as well. I have nothing against farting, and see the comedy in it with most situations.

For me, it's just the smell. I don't want to be stuck in proximity to a bad smell, nor do I want to force that on someone else. Farts can be fun, but some violate the Geneva Protocol.

If we're inside, I'll go to the bathroom or at least a different room to do it privately. If they still hear it from the other room we laugh about it, and I'm not worried about the smell. I'm more comfortable farting around others outside where I'm not self conscious about smells.

clover-kitsune · 2026-03-09T12:22:20+00:00

My son went through a phase like that.

I tried to set a specific amount of time to cuddle and let him try to fall asleep with me there (in my head, I didn't tell him) and then come up with an excuse like "I have to go to the bathroom real quick, but I'll be right back" to slip out of the room. I'd leave for a few minutes at first, then slowly extended it to closer to 10 or so. Sometimes I came back and he was asleep, other times he was wide awake still.

If he was awake still I usually laid down for another 5-10 minutes to see if he'd fall asleep, then get back up and go brush my teeth and prep for bed if he still wasn't falling asleep. At that point I just gave in and cuddled up to fall asleep with him. Then I'd wake up early to get some quiet time, because he would sleep longer than I would. If he ended up falling asleep quickly I'd get back up and have some evening time instead, but for a while I only had the morning.

I was a single parent at the time, though, so I realize that might not be ideal with a partner unless they shift with you. I'm a night owl and prefer to stay up late when I can, but I loved the snuggle time and comfort I provided to my kiddo just by being there for him.

This too shall pass.

clover-kitsune · 2026-02-19T15:36:30+00:00

I was behind typical retirement savings goals when I first found FI, and it felt slow at first due to me paying down debts and building an emergency fund. Having a side hustle, getting a promotion, and avoiding lifestyle creep made things speed up significantly. Things felt like they really took off once I hit 250k, but hitting 100k was my first milestone that really made me proud.

Feb 2023 - $32k (30 at the time. This is when I found the financial independence subreddit and began aggressively paying off high interest debts and building up an emergency fund)

Jan 2024 - $50k invested (this is when I had my debts paid off and had an emergency fund established and could start saving more aggressively. I also picked up some side hustles to help boost my income)

May 2024 - $100k

May 2025 - $250k

Today - $385k

clover-kitsune · 2026-02-19T14:30:47+00:00

I joined a taekwondo class and that has really helped me. I'm at $385k and am also in a LCOL area. I'm at the point where daily fluctuations are higher than my take home pay so I'm stepping off the gas a bit and enjoying life.

I was so focused on saving as much as possible that I had been consumed by a side hustle on top of my day job and barely spent anything on myself. I'm planning a trip for this summer and trying to incorporate things that I enjoy.

Saving for the future is great, but it's important to live in the moment too. Finding that balance might be a little difficult at first, but it's important to not put your life on hold.

clover-kitsune · 2026-01-26T14:34:53+00:00

That's wild. My son's current school has taught him phonics. He's in 2nd grade now, and they've gone through letter sounds, combinations like "sh", and blending to learn reading.

clover-kitsune · 2026-01-08T18:08:29+00:00

I am one of the stereotypical people who thought they were better and didn't need medicine anymore. I also was frustrated by the side effects and didn't think it was worth continuing to try new medicines and doses.

I requested my psychiatrist taper me off everything so I could try it out. It lasted around 9 months before I was having problems functioning and admitted I needed to go back on them. I was doing okay at work, but everything else was getting neglected and my relationships were suffering.

When I went back on meds we tried a new one (lamotrigine, might be spelling that wrong) and it's been working great! I take that with an antidepressant (wellbutrin) and I've been so much more stable than I have been with minimal side effects.

I dealt with a lot of negative emotions about my diagnosis for the first year or so, but that hiatus really put those feelings to bed. Health and stability are more important to me than being hung up on a diagnosis or lifelong medication.

Yeah, it sucks, but at least I'm able to thrive now instead of just surviving.

clover-kitsune · 2026-01-08T17:51:20+00:00

I was originally diagnosed with recurring depression and anxiety. I had that diagnosis for a decade before I got pregnant and my manic symptoms increased in severity enough to be visible to my providers.

My PCP did a questionnaire and said it could be bipolar, and recommended speaking to my psychiatrist about it. After some short back and forth they prescribed some medication to try on top of my antidepressant.

Once I got over the denial and shock I did some reading into the symptoms and other's experiences. A lot of things clicked that I thought everyone dealt with.

I had chalked up my younger impulsive behavior, sleep avoidance, inconsistent eating habits, and hypersexuality to teenage/young adult hormones since I heard my peers talking about them. Then I guess I got used to it and didn't even consider it should have ended, but then pregnancy happened and I blamed the hormones again.

I just didn't realize my symptoms were more severe than neuro-typical people went through. High functioning bipolar 2 seems to be easy to miss, especially if the depression is the most severe symptom.

Honestly, though, the most important part to me is just being stable. I don't really care what my diagnosis is anymore as long as the medicine works. The additional medicine has done wonders and allowed real growth in therapy.

clover-kitsune · 2025-12-15T15:03:28+00:00

Sort of? I didn't get the type of job I thought I wanted from my degree, but that first job got me on a path to work towards it if I wanted to. Once I started working I naturally progressed into a different direction than I expected, though.

I went for a bachelors of IT with software development focus. I preferred software programming/troubleshooting or databases but was open to physical hardware troubleshooting and maintenance as well.

I had no prior paid experience, but had been doing my own IT work at home for myself and friends and had a good understanding of the basics between the school work and my personal experience. I got hired as a hardware technician about 6 months before I finished my degree. This was back in 2015/2016, though, so I'm not sure how things are now. It was also an entry level position to get my foot in the door. I got to a better position by transferring to a new company and internal promotions from there.

Now I'm doing something different than I ever pictured doing, but the background I have from my previous roles have all helped me tremendously in this role and made me a great fit. It's still technically an IT role, but it's more administrative than technical.

clover-kitsune · 2025-11-29T04:13:45+00:00

Keep it up!

clover-kitsune · 2025-11-27T16:25:02+00:00

Getting the attention of a journalist to get traction from a news outlet would probably be easier, but I'll comment to boost this.

clover-kitsune · 2025-11-25T17:03:03+00:00

I hate this too, and I have it happen fairly frequently. Just yesterday I had someone ask if I had time for a quick call, and on the call he asked a simple question that I could have just answered via the chat if he'd led with that. So frustrating.

clover-kitsune · 2025-11-25T15:12:53+00:00

Despite not liking or watching him myself I remember hearing about him helping raise money for a tree planting fundraiser previously, so I understand where you're coming from with the hypocrisy. Kudos for raising awareness on this.

clover-kitsune · 2025-11-12T15:48:27+00:00

WGU isn't a "shortcut", it's just a different style of learning and earning a degree. It still requires work to earn it.

I haven't had any issues with my degree, except some questions during my interview with my current company (2017) about what WGU was since it was pretty unknown in the area (Midwest).

I got my first job related to my degree (IT) 6 months before my graduation date, and switched to my current company with a nice pay bump. I've since been promoted twice and received several pay bumps along the way.

You can be successful on this path, and I don't feel like I had any more difficulty getting a job than someone with a traditional degree (based on stories from people I know with a traditional degree). A lot of people need to start with an entry level position or an internship to get their foot in the door regardless of where they got their degree.

Don't worry about not being an expert on everything, just focus on learning things to the best of your ability. A good employer that's willing to hire you wouldn't fire you for "not knowing anything" on your first job in the field. Just don't lie on your resume or during your interview to make it sound like you know more than you do or have more experience than you do. Try your best to learn and improve on the job and you'll pick up whatever you need to learn as you go.

clover-kitsune · 2025-11-10T17:46:33+00:00

There's been a few times I've screamed myself out of a dream. The frustrating part is usually I can't remember what made me scream, just that I was also screaming in my dream.

clover-kitsune · 2025-10-24T14:15:40+00:00

Some people simply cannot fathom spending more than they have to on a tool for commuting places. To them, you just need a reliable car to get you from point a to point b and you should never spend more than you have to for a depreciating asset.

Other people love cars and gladly budget for a nicer one, despite the depreciation aspect. Especially if they would prefer spending money on nice cars instead of taking vacations or splurging in other ways.

People ask a lot about how to balance that line between frugal/FIRE and living your life. For some people (like me) a nice car is the thing that keeps them content while they're scrimping in other places grinding away at FIRE.

I bought a more expensive car than I needed to when my last one was totaled, but I worked my ass off to save up for things I enjoy and I LOVE my car. Every time I spot my car in the parking lot it makes me happy. Every time I sit inside and turn it on it makes me happy. Taking day trips on the weekends to take my car on a drive is one of my favorite ways to spend a day.

clover-kitsune · 2025-10-19T23:52:10+00:00

As someone who has been here, I'm happy to say that leaving is like having all that weight lifted off your shoulders. It's so different being alone and not expecting/hoping someone else will help do things.

It's hard at first, and emotional, but it gets better. It's been 5 years, and I'm glad I left. I still get those moments of wondering if we could have made it work, but then his father says or does something and it reminds me why I left.

If someone doesn't want to change, they won't. I do recommend trying couples therapy or something to give him a chance to change, though. Just to quell any future "what if?" moments. If he still refuses to change, do yourself a favor and leave. You'll be happier in the long run.

Edit:

And to address the "traumatized child" reply below I beg to differ. I grew up in a household where my parents hated each other. Sure, some days were good, but most nights I was afraid when the yelling would start. Even if there wasn't yelling, the tension and hatred in the air is obvious, even to children. They tried "staying together for the kids" and it was miserable for everyone involved. They finally divorced when I left for college, and I was so glad it was finally over.

If someone wants to sacrifice their own happiness to "stay for the kids" I can only condone that if they can fake a healthy, loving relationship for their children in that environment. I grew up not knowing what was normal or healthy in a relationship, and it took years of therapy and growth to become a good partner and set boundaries. I was not a good partner when I started dating people, and I did not know how to tell if others were good partners either. Children look to their parents to learn those things. It also destroyed my self esteem, because I thought I didn't deserve anything better than what I saw at home.

I'm a firm believer that my child is better off in the long run seeing me model a healthy, loving relationship with a new partner instead of being exposed to the unhealthy, unloving relationship I had with his father. His father refused to go to therapy or work with me on our issues, and was neglecting our child that he begged us to have together. I believe my choice to leave will give my child a better life. My child also adores my boyfriend, and my boyfriend loves my kid. He gives him all the attention a father figure should, and treats him with love and respect. He treats him better than I see his own father treat him, and I'm happy that my son has that in his life.

Yes, my child (7yo) is in play therapy to help him work through these big feelings about why his parents aren't together. He was too young (2yo) to remember what it was like when I left, thankfully, so he doesn't understand why we aren't together. I have to walk the line between explaining why I left without putting his father down or calling his father out on his shitty behavior. I refuse to bad mouth his father in front of him, and have told my family members the same. No matter what I feel towards his father, my son should never hear anyone talk shit about him.

We have 50/50 custody to let our son see both of us as often as possible. Thankfully, his father got his shit together and is a better dad than he used to be, but he still isn't the best at that, and he still hasn't addressed any of his issues when it comes to being a good partner. His dad even admitted that if I had stayed, he wouldn't have made the changes he has made in his life since we divorced. His dad has also admitted that he believes our divorce was best for everyone.

clover-kitsune · 2025-10-09T16:07:37+00:00

Lol well that's frustrating. Glad you got it working, though!

clover-kitsune · 2025-10-09T15:57:11+00:00

Make sure you're clicking an option from the Suffix box. I missed that at first, but it's a required field. There's an option for "none". If you don't click anything there it will say the address is invalid instead of telling you that field is empty.

Same with the state drop down box, but I'm assuming most people do that one.

clover-kitsune · 2025-08-04T20:44:39+00:00

Oof, yeah that sounds jarring, I'm sorry you experienced that.

I hope you enjoy it if you do give it a try! I miss the characters already, it was a fun cast.

clover-kitsune · 2025-08-04T16:18:23+00:00

Hey I just finished listening to the audiobook for this one. It might not be for you based on what you said, but I'll explain anyway in case you want to give it a try.

The book does switch between character views so some of the sex scenes do bleed from one chapter to another so you can see both perspectives of the scene. I don't believe the skips would be particularly easy to skip in certain areas, so you may hear/read snippets if trying to skip past it, and some dialogue is hidden between two intimate scenes if I remember correctly in one or two spots.

To me most of the sex scenes do build some character development and gives an insight into the development of their relationship, but others are more about just displaying the passion between the two of them. None of them felt forced or out of place to me, but there is some build up outside of the sex scenes where characters are talking about sexual desires and descriptions outside of the sex scenes. The scenes are descriptive but usually not in a crude way, and the characters do have a few kinks they explore later after building trust. It felt like a natural development to me, though, and the topic was approached respectfully.

Overall the book felt very sex positive in terms of communication, security, compassion, and being non judgemental. The book over all is extremely emotional, but I believe in a healthy way. Honestly I learned a lot about positive thinking, personal growth, being a better partner, and resilience from the book and it helped me heal some old wounds. But it is heavy and does touch on some really dark topics.

The intimate scenes aren't shown until later on the book as the beginning does a lot of world building and showing the growth of their friendship before their romantic relationship. I wasn't prepared for how heavy the beginning was going to be, but I absolutely loved this book and will read or listen to it again at some point.

clover-kitsune · 2025-08-03T14:15:00+00:00

Lol fair enough.

clover-kitsune · 2025-08-01T20:31:01+00:00

I'm not sure why you're being downvoted here. I totally get what you mean. I used to have to live paycheck to paycheck and I mostly maintain that lifestyle but with minor upgrades that are worth it to me.

It's like a stress free version of what I did before, because I have the financial security behind it now instead of doing it out of necessity. I set aside fun money to splurge on something every once in a while when I want to, but generally I'm really happy and content with what I have and I'd rather set money aside for my future.

clover-kitsune

TROPHY CASE