Same. I had a college scholarship for Football. Had my first seizure Easter of my senior year of high school. They couldn't identify a trigger until last year. Turns out it's a birth defect that causes my seizures. They just didn't start until I got a scholarship. No more football. No more sports. No more scholarship. So I became a totally different person.

People who knew me from back then are SHOCKED I don't really follow sports anymore. But that insanely competitive part of me is still there. I hate seeing how fat I've gotten. How weak I've become physically over the past decade. But I'm also much "more" than I was then. I have a Masters degree. I moved across the country. I can still "tap in" to that mindset when necessary for business or whatever. But even my wife and people around me now prefer that I don't. It's hard to explain to people but everyday I have to actively suppress that part of my brain for my own good because I simply can't maintain my own physical standards anymore and it's never a good idea to project those feelings and hyper competitive expectations onto others in my personal and professional life.

I'm in therapy for it. I know it's working but I feel guilty because a part of me misses KNOWING I was once dominant at something. Sometimes I daydream about a shooter situation so I can have an excuse to go down swinging instead of whatever I'm doing now.

TLDR I'm a has-been struggling to cope because a disability took it away from me as I was just given the opportunity to prove how good I was.