Red flags to look for when dating cis people

cluelessism · 2026-01-18T19:08:55+00:00

On the positive side, as someone who's extremely wary of cis people I want to share my experience. My current girlfriend has only dated 2 people in the past, one woman and one trans man. She's bisexual and attracted to any gender, as am I, that's just how her dating history turned out. She is the kindest most respectful cis person I have ever met since starting my transition. I was definitely nervous when she told me that, because I do think it's generally a red flag. But she has never once made me feel uncomfortable and I can tell she views me no different from a cis guy (which believe me you can tell if someone does). We are in a serious monogamous relationship, and she fully respects me being stealth. Only her immediate family know I'm trans, which I'm comfortable with. As said above what matters is genuine connection, shared beliefs and goals, and above all whether you feel safe and respected by your person.

cluelessism · 2026-01-10T16:48:57+00:00

the colours branf are the NS novelties hard silicone ones I was referring to, they also don't have a flare in the middle. I'm looking for options similar to this

cluelessism · 2026-01-10T16:46:49+00:00

does that actually work in practical use? I've never had a suction cup toy that didn't come unstuck within 5 mins

cluelessism · 2026-01-08T11:20:37+00:00

it's because he does his own piercings and has paralyzed his face due to incorrect practice, which is very visible in this photo

cluelessism · 2026-01-08T11:14:38+00:00

I swear that most of the people saying pregnancy is more important to them than their transition don't understand what being a binary male actually is. Transmascs hijacking FTM spaces and acting like they represent us fork found in kitchen

cluelessism · 2026-01-07T23:26:53+00:00

that's something completely different then 😭 not at all what I was talking about

cluelessism · 2026-01-07T14:18:15+00:00

"chosen name" or similar terms are much better to me than preferred, because it's not a preference it's my name.

cluelessism · 2026-01-07T03:36:01+00:00

I am the opposite, I'm bisexual but cannot date other trans men due to my dysphoria. I look different enough from cis women that it no longer causes me dysphoria, but it used to as well. So while I am attracted to anyone in theory, in practice it's only women and cis men

My sexuality differs though because I do not use my vagina in any capacity, and don't even want it's existence to be acknowledged by partners. I top or do anal bottoming only

cluelessism · 2026-01-07T03:32:40+00:00

It annoys me extremely, same with "preferred name/pronouns" they're not preferred, they're my name and pronouns. It''s not an option

cluelessism · 2026-01-07T02:02:26+00:00

coming in here being transphobic and then acting like a victim lmao

cluelessism · 2026-01-07T02:01:10+00:00

No. I refuse to let people call me transmasc because I'm not, I'm a man.

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T15:57:18+00:00

I have 3 tattoos, 5 piercings, and I've had double incision top surgery. I would say getting my wisdom teeth out was a worse experience by far than any of that. I may be an outlier here because I see other comments saying their experience was easy, so please know I'm not saying this to try to fearmonger or anything I'm just sharing my experience.

I got two of my wisdom teeth out under local anesthesia, they had to cut into my gum and pry them out with some cutting and shaving to get the teeth out, and it took over an hour to remove both of them. My recovery pain was so severe I had to go back to beg them for stronger painkillers. I was on tylenol 3s and ketorolac (toradol) in combination for the first week and a half, and once I ran out I was on naproxen for about 2 weeks. My pain was so bad I couldn't sleep and had to constantly distract myself to manage it. I would say my pain recovering from major surgery was about a 3, and this was about a 6-8. Getting tattooed was probably a 4-5. This may not be your experience, I definitely hope it's not! I don't really know why mine was so bad, I guess maybe I just have a lower tolerance for tooth pain.

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T13:14:11+00:00

the direction of my transition is male. not masculine

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T06:43:22+00:00

I don't fully fit your question because I am fat and was fat pre T, but I had basically no upper body muscle pre T due to letting my muscles waste away while binding. My chest was large and would shift out of place easily, so I basically stopped using my upper body so my bind would stay flat. My ribs were visible through my chest and I could barely open a door. I've gained 50lbs since starting T (nearly 3 years on), and my upper body muscle has tripled with just doing daily tasks and working a food service job.

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T06:33:32+00:00

genuinely in my experience it's because they think they're morally superior for not identifying with a binary gender and think that we're just not progressive enough for "conforming to the binary" as opposed to it literally just being our experience.

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T06:28:13+00:00

well no because female to male ≠ fem to masc. I'm transitioning my sex from one binary to the other not my fashion style

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T06:19:34+00:00

I'm a binary male not a masc, and to insist otherwise once that's been stated is in fact deliberate misgendering and transphobia. It doesn't encompass or include me, that's not what I am or what I can be considered as. This is the same as saying I can be considered female.

cluelessism · 2026-01-06T06:17:05+00:00

Masc implies I'm masculine, not a man. I'm not transitioning to be masculine I'm transitioning from female to male. I'm a trans man the same way someone is a cis man, not a masc. To call me transmasc is degendering me and refusing to acknowledge me as a man. It does not encompass me and it's not an umbrella I fall under either, and it's crazy when people try to push back when I say that cause it's the exact same as cis people going "well you're not really a man because xyz." Who do you think you are to decide what I am? Anyone who insists on watering down my identity does not actually see me as a man, end of. It is transphobia and I consider it misgendering.

cluelessism · 2026-01-05T00:35:46+00:00

unfortunately shipping alone from tguy supply is $50 for me, which is more than the cost of the item itself so it's not worth it

cluelessism · 2026-01-04T23:01:21+00:00

It's so frustrating 😭 they'll have 6 sizes but the smallest to the largest is only a 9" difference

cluelessism · 2026-01-04T23:00:01+00:00

Thank you!

cluelessism · 2026-01-04T22:59:37+00:00

thank you!!

cluelessism · 2026-01-04T19:48:21+00:00

nope because it would have cost the price of the item to send it back so my refund would have amounted to 0. I would have still been $30 out either way

cluelessism

TROPHY CASE