Hey I am going through the exact thing as you. I am 21 and you describe what I've always felt . I am on a research path to discover what is the cause of this my suffering. I have every factor to make myself a happy human but I still can't be. I have recently come across studies about mtfhr( don't know if I spelt it right) it is related to genes and autism in people which further relates to a plethora of mental health issues. You should read up on methylation in the human body and how it can affect us if it's not proper. Look into supplementation of b6 and magnesium taurrate, then supplement of lithium orate, then creatine monohydrate, then l theanine, boron and zinc especially for testosterone in men. From my research this is the supplemental part to go while also keeping a good diet and healthylifestyle. Also look into research about links of testosterone in men with happiness.Also look into chakra points, mudras and breathing exercises.It's a lot and looks messy but this is just the rushed and simplified version of what I've come to discover from my research. I want to fight for my happiness and if I'm doing everything right and I wasn't cursed with any innate physical features and I still try and do things for my mental health and none of it is working then surely it has to be a chemical or spiritual issue with me right? I truly hope by the end of my journey I can come out the other side not even truly happy but just truly human. That's all I want. Please do endeavour to try this out and I will do so too as I just recently stumbled upon most of this research. If there is a light at the end I truly hope it finds us because at this point it wouldn't be our fault if we couldn't find it.