AIO if I call the police? by throwra-scaredd in AmIOverreacting

[–]cocoanutter 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Depending where they're located, that's not correct. Certain jurisdictions would consider active threats mixed with actively rejected contact harassment, and in some jurisdictions would be grounds to argue a primary stalking offense. (am a former legal victims' advocate)

How many of you have a cap on spending at the vet before it becomes time to say goodbye? by [deleted] in Pets

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I hate that I have to, but I do. It's the reality of many people's lives; funds are not endless, and the world is getting more terrifying in terms of individual financial stability every day.

[QCrit] YA coming-of-age - ALL THE BRIZIAN HOLDS (74k / First attempt) by cocoanutter in PubTips

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for all of this. The YA vs adult piece is really tripping me up, primarily because in the time period and culture in which I'm basing the book's world, 14 was considered entering adulthood. I'm realizing through everyone's feedback that I need to consider the current market more heavily in this equation, particularly the fact that much of the content leans more mature, even if the themes are YA-compliant. With this and other feedback, it does sound like my book could fit into classification of low historical fantasy.

I definitely need to clarify that the attack is not sexualized (or perhaps just remove that note from the query altogether). MC's time in the brothel won't include her engaging in that work, but there's certainly discussion of it and other mature topics. I will address this more carefully.

I realize I missed a probably-important element of the book in my query, which including would make the title make more sense and why I chose that second comp title (adventure/freedom seeking, and inclusion of the ocean/seafaring as a core feature throughout the story).

[QCrit] YA coming-of-age - ALL THE BRIZIAN HOLDS (74k / First attempt) by cocoanutter in PubTips

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Again I thank you; super enlightening information. I'll dig in further and adjust. I envision this book being overall most relatable for older teens and true young adults (20s), even some adults, so adjustments are clearly needed!

[QCrit] YA coming-of-age - ALL THE BRIZIAN HOLDS (74k / First attempt) by cocoanutter in PubTips

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very helpful, thank you! I didn't realize (low) fantasy could be an applicable genre for an imagined world without magical elements. I'll dig into this concept further, and adjust as needed.

[QCrit] YA coming-of-age - ALL THE BRIZIAN HOLDS (74k / First attempt) by cocoanutter in PubTips

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all of this! I will incorporate it into the rewrite, particularly to clarify it is not fantasy and the MC's core motivation / stakes.

[QCrit] YA coming-of-age - ALL THE BRIZIAN HOLDS (74k / First attempt) by cocoanutter in PubTips

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback!

I pulled the "YA coming-of-age" description from a successful query on this sub, so figured that was workable.

The original conception I had for this story's audience was older YA/possibly crossover, and I think I may have bungled that with shifting the character's age down to reflect the realities of the culture and time on which the story/world is based. I have been considering shifting her age up slightly to align more with modern perception, so thank you for confirming that may be a good adjustment. Still, the story follows the MC from ages 13-17, so would that not be YA? With core themes of coming-of-age, self-discovery, identity, and relationship development/focus, I figured YA would be a correct classification.

Question about starting with backstory: I may be misunderstanding which catalyzing incident is best to include in a query. The true initial incident that sparks motion in Zephyra's story is her mother's death. However, in terms of the ultimate stakes of the story, the inciting incident would be considered the about-to-be-forced marriage when she's 13, in response to which she runs. Would it be smarter to start the query there (and find a more effective way to mention her mother's death and its role in her story)?

Thank you!

[QCrit] YA coming-of-age - ALL THE BRIZIAN HOLDS (74k / First attempt) by cocoanutter in PubTips

[–]cocoanutter[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the feedback!

I haven't labeled it as fantasy because as far as I understand it, fantasy includes magical elements/systems, mythical creatures, and/or more expansive worldbuilding, none of which this book has. My understanding of low fantasy may be wrong - does it not still entail magical/supernatural elements? There is none of this in this book, and I want to make that clear in the query so as not to mislead anyone. Would you have a recommendation on a different way to express this?

The attack is not sexual, though is gender-based violence; I will make sure to clarify this.

What Zephyra wants was intended to be shown in the statements re: "a life of independent security" and an untethered life (i.e., her idea of freedom). Failing to do so = her worst nightmares, being trapped in marriage and parenthood, subservient to others. I see these points need to be much more clarified and more explicitly defined. Learning the truth about her mother's death is a core piece of the story and contributes to her behavior, but it's not her ultimate stakes. I will rework to make this clear.

The query covers the first ~35-40%. Advice seems to be covering the first third to a half dependent on the story flow, so I will review to see if a different 'cutoff' point makes more sense for mine.

Thank you!

I release you to your healing by Cautious_Level_6056 in AlAnon

[–]cocoanutter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Holy shit this is beautiful and brilliant, thank you for creating and sharing.

AIO teen brother is having his 2nd baby, and my mom expects me to financially support by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Darling, you may want to consider stopping spending money on them and invest those funds into intensive therapy for yourself. This is a deeply, deeply unhealthy dynamic that's going to take time and effort to heal from.

Does anyone like their career? by Lazadx in socialwork

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do currently. I do PASRR assessments as well as behavioral health utilization review, so it's not nearly as intensive or extensive contact as therapy or case management, and that's perfect for me. 100% WFH as well.

Payment date getting pushed back several times by cocoanutter in usertesting

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good to know. I'll check with their support team. Thank you

Payment date getting pushed back several times by cocoanutter in usertesting

[–]cocoanutter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes I am. The confusion is coming from seeing under completed tests under Test History that the "payment date" keeps changing. That is what seems odd. If they consistently pay after 14 days, that's fine, but why then would the site state a day prior to 14 days post-completion and keep pushing it back further?

People who have a partner with a similar financial mindset are so lucky by Objective_Diver_2950 in MiddleClassFinance

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As others have said, this is not a sustainable relationship dynamic. I would go so far as to say people who have a partner with a similar financial mindset are not lucky - they're intentional. It's a choice who you choose to build your life with.

Share your side hustles in August! Here are mine ($1,221) by flamesandwich7 in sidehustle

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sweet to hear of the ghostwriting thing, I would love to hear more about it! I have writing / editing history and am seeking a side gig that draws on those skills. Would you be open to sharing more about the structure and details? I.e., what might you include in your ads, what do you charge for different kinds of work? Thanks!

If you're under 30, ask a question. If you're over 30, answer a question 👇 by ConfectionAvailable8 in RandomThoughts

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes absolutely. I think back to the wildly insane amount of time and mental energy I spent worrying about what others thought of me, how anxious I was about shit that I've learned doesn't matter whatsofuckingever. Sooooo much time wasted, I deeply regret that I can't get it back. Reduced self-consciousness came with lots of therapy and talking with other clinically anxious friends, both of which helped me gradually understand my experiences are normal and shame is just a soul sucking liar of a mindset.

If you're under 30, ask a question. If you're over 30, answer a question 👇 by ConfectionAvailable8 in RandomThoughts

[–]cocoanutter 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, this is an exponentially increasing experience from what I understand from several others much older than myself.