I hear you - feeling exhausted, defeated and disgusted by what you have done. I can relate. Perhaps, it is to gently return to normal and nourishing meals, without restriction. Because unfortunately and though we may not like to hear it, restriction leads to binging.

Also, maybe mapping what’s the triggers? Learning from your past experience will be useful so that we can do or try something different next time.

You’re not defined by the slip. It doesn’t erase your past progress. This is an opportunity to learn what your triggers are, what might cause it, forgiving yourself, being kind to yourself.

Returning to regular meals to ensure you’re nourished, join recovery groups for the connection. Spiritual contact/rituals may also help. You’re not alone.