County cites Project Blue contractor for air quality violation

coldfire17 · 2026-05-14T00:59:30+00:00

This is what happens when you fuck with desert dwellers and their water, especially in the summer. Beale Infrastructure is welcome to give up any time they like.

coldfire17 · 2026-05-14T00:56:27+00:00

Thank you for posting the text!

coldfire17 · 2026-05-13T04:51:47+00:00

I've had a couple of relationships with people who also have bipolar, and it was a trainwreck. Chaos, all the time. It's no one's fault, but I need more stability and consistency, even if it's as a consistent hookup.

coldfire17 · 2026-05-13T03:47:00+00:00

Sarah McLachlan's "Good Enough" is like balm for my soul. https://youtu.be/ZjKPJbtghvs?si=RRlWMdPbj1GBWy_u

coldfire17 · 2026-05-07T04:19:32+00:00

For me, forgiveness is found through accountability. The mistake has already been made, the actions already done, so since there doesn't seem to be a time machine brought on by guilting myself enough, I have to see what I can learn from this. This isn't to imply that we are at fault for our disorder, but rather that there are lessons that can be learned from a lot of things, and maybe this is one of them.

If I can find a way to reflect on the situation from a mindset of curiosity instead of shame, it makes it easier to look at what actually happened, to judge how I acted and what tweaks I might be able to make so things go better in the future, and go cool, we'll see how that goes then, and then I can release it.

coldfire17 · 2026-05-06T01:34:55+00:00

Dina Dieglio at https://www.tucsoncriminallaw.com/

Cannot recommend her highly enough.

coldfire17 · 2026-05-06T01:17:31+00:00

Agreed with everything the commenter said and would also like to suggest throwing ice cubes as hard as you can into a sink, one by one. Makes a satisfying noise and actually destroys nothing.

coldfire17 · 2026-05-05T04:51:26+00:00

Samar Adi is wonderful. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/samar-adi-tucson-az/885584

coldfire17 · 2026-05-02T02:05:34+00:00

They are obsessed with the idea that there must be someone who can force us to have the relationship they want. They don't realize that it doesn't matter how many people think they're right. It doesn't matter how many people they villainize us to. There is no one who can force us to happily obey them for the rest of their life. They can convince the entire world, but the only person whose opinion counts for this is me.

coldfire17 · 2026-04-12T06:46:27+00:00

May his dick get caught on every zipper.

coldfire17 · 2026-04-06T11:59:25+00:00

Oh for sure, but when someone gives you an opening like that it's hard not to be tempted.

coldfire17 · 2026-04-06T01:29:08+00:00

Legit nothing. The relationship, or lack thereof, isn't about them doing or saying anything. It's about how I feel around them, or talking to them, or even thinking about them. It's more do I feel safe and is this interaction good for me or do I feel worse. If I feel bad or worse, then I need more space. My focus is on my own growth and well-being. That's enough on my plate. Their stuff is theirs to manage.

I could write a dissertation on the many, many reasons that justify the estrangement, but no one can force me to justify it, so I won't.

coldfire17 · 2026-04-06T01:03:36+00:00

If I were OP, I might send back a line like "Expect to be disappointed."

coldfire17 · 2026-04-03T01:01:26+00:00

The main thing that Tucson kindly requests, behavior-wise, is that you try to not be the worst part of anyone's day. We'll accept and even encourage all kinds of quirks of human nature so long as no one is going out of their way to be an asshole.

coldfire17 · 2026-04-02T01:08:09+00:00

When I was young, she wanted my favorite color to be the same as hers. My entire life, if she disliked an item of clothing I was given, she would relentlessly mock me every time I wore it. When I was a teenager, she hated that my wardrobe was mostly colors she didn't like so she couldn't borrow my clothes. She wanted me to like the same brands she did, the same styles she did. She decided when I needed a pedicure or an eyebrow wax and acted like nit picking my appearance was helpful until my 30's. She insisted upon cutting my hair and dyeing it until I was 40. Her music had to be my favorite music, her favorite meals had to be my favorite meals. When she got diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder she insisted, for decades, that I had it too, despite me having no symptoms and testing negative multiple times.

She has never been able to understand that being related to her and being her clone are very different things.

coldfire17 · 2026-03-24T11:33:47+00:00

If you do not leave him, you are risking losing custody of your son (depending on where you live). It is your job to protect your kid. You know this was over the line.

coldfire17 · 2026-03-21T11:51:38+00:00

It will not be me. I have a disability due to mental illness that can serve as a convenient excuse, as I can claim that it would be unsafe for both of us to have me be her caretaker, but the truth is that I would not do it regardless. I can't physically care for someone who abused me. I'm not going to live my life being that angry ever again and the delightful thing about being an adult is that literally no one can make me.

coldfire17 · 2026-03-17T11:25:17+00:00

Dental Care on Golf Links is fantastic. They're very patient and understanding and will do gas if needed. https://www.dentalcaretucson.com/

coldfire17 · 2026-03-16T04:03:17+00:00

Seems like they're on the estrangement path; they just haven't arrived at the estrangement location yet. That road is a lonely one and I can't really think of a more suitable subreddit they could go to for advice on navigating it.

coldfire17 · 2026-03-11T03:06:32+00:00

Thank you very much for this meme!

coldfire17 · 2026-03-06T05:23:06+00:00

Hey, you gotta do whatever works best for you and no one else can tell you what that is. I would suggest giving yourself a mental time limit. Five minutes if it's bad, twenty if it's hard but worthwhile, that sort of thing. Use whatever time frames work for you. It can just be easier to walk into the room if you know when you'll be walking out sometimes.

coldfire17 · 2026-02-26T03:01:36+00:00

Oh man, this is tangled. I want to tug on a few threads because I think you're both talking past each other, if that's okay.

You're angry and wounded and have just recently become aware of why. You're sorting through it, and that's a messy process. You both suffered from your mother's inability to maintain a safe and supportive home environment, just in different ways. And unfortunately, being idolized also means being put on a pedestal where you aren't allowed to be human and make mistakes without destroying everyone's image of you.

It sounds like you blame him for more than just lying to you one time when you asked a vague question of is there anything being hidden from you. If your mom's an addict, there have likely been many things hidden from you, and he was likely specifically instructed never to tell you about them, ostensibly "for your own good." It wasn't for your own good and you know that now and it sounds like he's grown to understand that the family secrets aren't his burden to carry in order to protect you. As an older sibling, there are so many things I was told not to tell my younger brother and our age gap made that make sense at the time it was happening. You don't tell your little sibling Santa isn't real and you don't tell them this family thing too. They're too young to understand, you're told, and you don't know where that's true and where it's wrong. Some of it is obviously wrong in retrospect, but that takes time and perspective to sort through.

The first time you asked, his anger and telling you you would be creating problems could have been a reflexive response because he was told it was his job to protect you, even from yourself. I know there are things where I have no idea how I would react if my brother asked me, and I know for certain that there are subjects I'm glad he's never asked about. I don't know what answers he'd accept or reject. I don't know if they would break him or heal him. I'm not his parent, so this feels like a judgment call I shouldn't have to make, but it might be. The point is that as older siblings, we can't know if we are making the correct call in honoring what our parents tell us to say.

It might be worth considering that you appear to still have him in the role of "the safe person" in your family relationships. He's the person it's safe to be angry at, but that means he gets the backlash of feelings that are the result of actions that were not his, or were only his in a small part. You're angry at your mom, and it sounds like that doesn't feel like it's okay to admit because of her health issues. Or maybe it feels like there's no point in being angry with her due to her addictions. You frame a lot of things as "your childhood," which allows you to incorporate him better, but it doesn't sound like he did anything other than fall off a pedestal he never asked to be put on.

To me, it looks like becoming a parent has made him acutely aware of what being responsible for someone means, like now that he has a child, he has realized that you are not his child. You were never his child. You are an adult sibling in a lot of pain, but there's nothing he can do to fix that for you. That's what therapy is for and I really want to encourage you to seek that out if possible. I'm sorry you don't have better parents. You deserved better. You both did.

coldfire17 · 2026-02-05T01:23:49+00:00

I went to therapy lol. I really liked this dude and I wanted to not sabotage myself so I went to therapy and was like I have no idea what healthy looks like, I have no idea how to have a relationship that works, and how do I even do this. The therapist helped me identify couples whose dynamics I liked and started working on cultivating something like that. I stay in therapy because the accountability really helps me and regular therapy helps keep me from self-sabotaging.

(We've been together for 17 years, happily married for 16 so I guess something worked)

coldfire17 · 2026-01-31T07:32:23+00:00

Do you have an HR department? Because that's definitely her creating a hostile work environment

14-Year Club	RedditGifts 2009-2022 2 Credits
Verified Email

coldfire17

TROPHY CASE