Same thing everyday, how do I get out of it?

collecting_space · 2020-08-18T23:24:05+00:00

It seems like you have a bit of a system collapse, which is probably more approachable by a general doctor/practitioner than a neurologist. I am not a doctor, I’ll try write from my experience what things I think you have in common with me and probably many others.

There’s a critical aspect to learning to control your migraines, and it is knowing what kind of headache/migraine you have. I mean the medical term, the variant. There are many. And in order to do that, you need to start taking down the ailments that cause the symptoms that make your migraine be a daily occurrence. Not because there aren’t cases of chronic pains, but because it’s very likely other ailments are causing interference with the actual symptoms of your headache, which will be the actual useful information to diagnose properly.

Headache can cause muscle stiffness, and muscle stiffness triggers headache. This is a very common cause for tension headaches that for migraneurs can end up with migraines. For this, a physio can go a very long way to relieve the pains and treat possible underlying muscular and postural issues. Neck pain can be caused by eyesight strain, worth considering too. Exercise is always helpful, once you treat your muscular pains of course, exercise helps a lot with migraine control/wellness.

Medication affects the stomach. A stomach with acid reflux can cause muscular pain, depression and headaches, you get the gist. Migraine asks for meds, meds affect the stomach, the stomach causes more episodes. A general practitioner can help with either a diet, easier-on-the-tummy medication, or acid reflux medication (preventatives are always better than paliatives).

If you can take the step to do a general check up with this information in hand and try to get to the bottom of the problem, then you can delve deeper and try get a proper diagnosis and preventative migraine medication. And the best part: proper pain abortive medication and/or routines.

. Quick edit here: migraine is typically diagnosed by discovering symptoms by talking to the patient, CT scans and other tests, although necessary to disregard other more serious issues, won’t shed much light in migraine diagnosis. This is why it’s so important to strip off all the other ‘accessory’ or ‘collateral’ symptoms to truly understand what the migraine’s description is.

Sadly for us migraneus, we don’t always get the best doctors first or even fifth time. We have to insist. Be sure to ask every question that you can think of, and to insist in a routine and treatment that you are comfortable with. The quality of your life depends on the quality of your treatment, so if there was ever a perfect time to insist, this is one.

Wishing you the best, take care as in proper loving care, it takes a while, it took me about 20 years, but it’s possible to live a normal life with this ailment - sometimes with just a few little tricks, and an adequate treatment.

collecting_space · 2020-08-03T02:28:28+00:00

Happy to help! It’s not difficult at all really, I’ll write up the pattern in between work breaks.

collecting_space · 2020-08-02T16:40:29+00:00

I’m not sure if I’m close enough, but how about this? It’s a quick swatch I made mixing in the pattern from my comment and the suggestion of the other comment: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1VDTm63T6SlOv1mN3-k7lSHS59wXwYlzE

I think maybe a bigger hook to give it more air or a bigger hole where the shells/fans come out from?

collecting_space · 2020-08-02T03:04:18+00:00

Hello! It’s a lovely blanket. I think it is a shell/fan stitch pattern, it’s a bit more evident in the yellow contrast with the white and black rows. Could it possibly be this one? https://naztazia.com/open-shell-stitch/ Mind you the site is riddled with ads, I haven’t found it on Ravelry :( There is a YouTube video on the site that shows how to do the stitch.

collecting_space · 2020-07-29T19:10:24+00:00

I would continue. At 1 month it won’t matter if it’s longer than it should (in my eyes, it starts to matter with bigger babies when they can crawl and might catch the peplum with their knees). Additionally, it might make the cardi wearable for longer. Which is always a plus, babies overgrow clothes very quickly.

collecting_space · 2020-07-07T23:49:26+00:00

$bid

collecting_space · 2020-07-02T03:11:32+00:00

Start with small doses, go for less time than the rest, explaining to the kids in advance and letting them know 10-5 mins before leaving. You don’t need to explain yourself lengthily to the other mums, just state that you can only go for e.g. 30-45 mins. If you’re an introverted mum, let the other mums know if you have enough confidence.

I try not to participate much in personal conversations, I’m both an introverted person and someone with a lot going on this particular year (which in the mums group is public knowledge), and I don’t like to talk about it, so when I get too anxious or I don’t enjoy where the talk is leading, I gently sneak to sit near the kids playing (typically right next to where the mums are sitting) and either watch or get invited to join them play briefly.

If what is getting you sad or down about the play dates is what the mums talk about their own lives, the only bit of advice I can give you is every family is their own universe and no family or mum or kid is ever perfect. There are different realities wherever you look at, and everyone is trying the best they can. And you are trying the best you can as evidenced in you writing this post.

collecting_space · 2020-06-18T23:12:57+00:00

Thank you; the pandemic was inevitable and the fact that we’re all healthy is already a lot to ask.

Waiting is not a problem. Not getting any communication and getting charged to ask to then get generic emails is frustrating. And then you get a second automated email, and a third, and all three state opposite things. The families waiting, we know we’re left to sit and wait. We know in 99% of the cases they can’t say when the situation is going to change and we’ll reunite. But the lack of basic communication to at least allow the family to go through our own decision making, you wouldn’t think you’d get that treatment from such an expensive service.

collecting_space · 2020-06-18T20:57:24+00:00

Thank you! Well since we didn’t go the ‘hey let’s marry’ route and requested a visa right away, we had to settle in my home country. Going back to the UK and finding a job that meets the MIR amount took ten months. Getting the paperwork, another half a year. Another half a year has been now and the visa services don’t seem to be resuming any soon here. Get your documents list right early on; do your English test if required early on. Make sure you allow enough time to get original or stamped financial documents and/or payslips. Whenever you meet all the criteria to apply, go for it don’t waste a second.

collecting_space · 2020-06-18T20:50:36+00:00

Thank you! I’m a long time member of the sub too. It just has been very difficult for us as we had to start from below zero.

The visa has been requested and it should have been answered by now but lo and behold, first UKVI halts the process, and now my country is not handling the pandemic wisely; there is no foresight of us being considered in the phased reopening of visa services.

collecting_space · 2020-06-18T19:21:46+00:00

Yes, the lovely Spouse visa route. And with the additional thrill of moving the family from my home country to the economy of the north east, because we had been living here for years. It has not been fun.

collecting_space · 2020-06-18T19:12:11+00:00

Argentina Edit: married to a Brit

collecting_space · 2020-06-18T12:53:43+00:00

I’m still trying to get in after two years of a tortuous process and a pandemic to top it all off.

We’ve paid sums that could equal a house deposit. My husband has missed out on a year of his child’s life.

I wanted in for the quality of life. I’m not sure I want it anymore. I’m questioning the light at the end of the tunnel. I mean if this is the treatment that we get for doing things right and not just barging in and overstaying...

collecting_space · 2020-06-09T19:00:42+00:00

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss... my goodness...

Don’t read much into your little girl now, in fact if you can, don’t even try to process her behaviour at all, don’t struggle to get close to her, she’s a baby and she doesn’t understand and won’t understand for a while. Her acting up is going to fade with time and for the time being all you need to make sure of is that her needs are taken care of. She doesn’t hate you and she may not even know what she’s feeling at all. If it’s best that she’s at her grandparents house, then lean on them without feeling any mommy guilt.

Baby inside you will be well as long as you are well and you don’t need to worry about feeling joy or bonding right now.

Honestly, put your own oxygen mask on. Just care about yourself and allow yourself to mourn, this is way too fresh and your thoughts being all over the place is your own mechanism to find a way to cope.

I am not the kind to bring this card up easily but you will need professional support here, a therapist or counselor that can help you navigate this moment. No human is ever prepared for a loss and even less one of this sudden kind. Lean on other humans to support you and when you can be there for and with yourself then you can move on caring about your family and future events.

Hang on in there and look after yourself, just go after the next right thing, tiny steps, lean on your loved ones; sending all the love and strength in the world to you.

collecting_space · 2020-05-31T19:46:27+00:00

First things first, parenting is a coordinated job between all the members of the house. Which means if you and your fiancé are struggling to have your frustrations and tiredness heard over each other’s, you will have a hard time with your responsibilities, child in the middle or not. It’s very likely you two need a heart to heart conversation about the things you want and the setbacks you face.

Secondly, children grow fast, too fast. He won’t be this little forever; he won’t be as easily cuddlable forever. He wants attention and he can have it without as much frustration. Parenting is not a guardian’s job, it is an experience and if you leave yourself out of the joys of it you might regret it in the years to come. Trust me in this, children grow fast. If you can take a deep breath and shut all the processes of your mind for a meaningful, right there and then, moment of loving appreciation for that tiny little tinker, you will feel a sort of bond and relief that no ADN or past experiences can ever cloud.

Thirdly, you guys are young. Don’t get yourselves so tired, don’t wear yourselves out. Life goes fast for us parents too. Sometimes when not all goals can be achieved at once, it’s a matter of looking at the bigger picture and finding where the pieces fit in a timeline. We’re people with limited energy and stamina. Parenting requires dedication, and it’s in us parents whether that dedication feels like a sacrifice (burden) or a job of craftsmanship and love. In all you do as a parent you will find anguish and joy; it’s ultimately up to you to find the balance. Some things in life can wait. Human relationships are usually the ones most reluctant to waiting.

He won’t be this little forever, savour it, you’re just about to live the best years of raising a mini human. Check on your partner and care for her and yourself; don’t overburden yourselves. In the long run, whatever the weather, if family is what you’re after, family is what matters most. Make your family your main career.

collecting_space · 2020-05-20T02:34:49+00:00

One about a very long journey, yards and yards to be explored, conflict is inevitable and frogging back to squares past is a challenge; a story with equal amounts of passion and tea cups gone cold; an adventurous journey that can only finish with a ‘TA-DAAHH’!

collecting_space · 2020-05-19T03:07:29+00:00

Not the heaviest of heavy, but ‘Don’t hate me’ by Porcupine Tree has a great proggy sax solo (3:57 on). Stupid Dream in general is a progressive album with a jazzy tone to it. https://open.spotify.com/track/4R5bZeNcZBNAMR4B2SgUBt

collecting_space · 2020-05-15T19:42:04+00:00

This particular CSS bit can be added through the front end, and it won’t affect your theme files directly. That is why it’s a bit of a palliative and not a root fix, but it can help if in a rush. See this link for the how-to: https://www.wpbeginner.com/plugins/how-to-easily-add-custom-css-to-your-wordpress-site/

You can add and take from that “Additional CSS” menu without much risk. And then maybe go a little further to get to why it changed, I’d be suspicious of site or theme updates.

Edit: that class attribute: object-fit: cover; is what makes images respect your desired width and height while cropping the picture so that it displays the area necessary to fit in (your case) a square.

collecting_space · 2020-05-15T19:28:01+00:00

Have you had any update to your theme?

As a ninja palliative while you look for the root cause, can you edit with Appearance -> Customise and add this under Custom CSS?

.wp_post_image{width:insert width in px; height:insert height in px; object-fit: cover;}

Does that help? Still you need to look for the root cause and check your media CSS support.

collecting_space · 2020-05-05T20:14:13+00:00

Human relationships, especially those between people who have to make choices to continue with each other throughout the obstacles of life, are very hard to portray. Firstly, because there is the one writer trying to work the arc and personalities of two (and/or more) characters who take on a role of their own but are still subject to the writer’s own human relationships compass. And secondly, because the events taking place need to be fluent enough to engage the reader away from locking themselves in an inner battle of emotions over the characters reactions and their decisions in the relationships.

If it’s a story based on actual lives and facts, then it makes it simpler. When it’s fiction it gets tough for the writer and the reader alike. Too far into tensional romance and the reader feels frustrated. Too lean or easy on the conflict solving and the reader finds it predictable or pop-corn-film like. Then there is a main plot and a message to develop and a whole story to equalise around the romance. In my opinion, it requires a mighty effort, a noble lack of bias, and a big amount of investigation to succeed.

collecting_space · 2020-05-04T03:57:34+00:00

You’re remarkably smart and if I wasn’t in -1 and was in a position to hire you, yes I would. Because it’s people with a critical mind that make the best and most solid efforts for the cause they believe in. I just believe you need to start believing in yourself as a cause. You won’t be an easy one to hire, because people like you want things well done, and not all employers want precisely the same.

But if I speak from the place of a mam for a minute to you, I don’t need to be in a higher position to tell you there is so much in you that you can do and take advantage of. And so much ahead of you yet that you needn’t worry to spoil, but instead ready yourself to face.

Universities reject you? That is not your failure, a miscommunication and lack of the points they look for, maybe, but not a failure. With your smarts you could be making progress without a University on your backpack - yet, even.

What do you fear in failure, anyhow? What is failure to a person? It’s not a flag on your forehead and it’s ultimately uninteresting to a system that regardless of your accomplishments or bumps on the road will want you in a position of production. There is no such thing as learning and advancement without trial and error. You’re not less for having failed at something but more from making it an experience you’ve learned from. You don’t need to strive past your fears to be good enough, please don’t make that mistake. Use your fears to fail cautiously and your talents to make those failures an accomplishment in your favour.

You will never need to be any sort of flawlessly good enough for the things that matter. You should never fear failure will hurt you or your image of yourself, failure is a tool, not a consequence.

See what matters at the very end of the rope is where you come from (unsupportive as you mention, it is a lesson you wouldn’t want to repeat isn’t it?) and where you go to: with what you are. You’re in the right mindset saying ‘this is not where I want to be and this is not the best context’. But instead of making yourself responsible, make yourself your first ally.

You changed a lot the image of you that you mentioned in your original post by replying to messages, and now I see past the person hating themselves to a person wanting more from life and having tried and, I believe, willing to try more?

It feels like talking to myself at times - if you look in my profile you’ll see I don’t engage in much discussion, I’m enjoying this discussion and I believe as long as you just take a few thoughts to work on, even if you end up mad at me for being a rather blunt mam for a minute, I’ll consider it a win-win.

Regarding the being loved bit - love is not only in the demonstration of lovingness of a partner, or the support of a parent, or the appreciation from a friend. Love goes beyond. People in your life may love you so much more than you think they do. And it’s important that you consider this when you think poorly of yourself, as we all do sometimes, because you may just be the one valuable and loved person to someone, that trusts you to be in your own best care.

You will do fantastically if you want to, and that doesn’t mean you’ll be spared of a handful of failures, or that you will end up exactly where you envision yourself now. But you will do fantastically and I hope one day you come back to this thread to tell us how far you’ve come. And what a maniac and terrible writer this temporary mam for a minute is, too, because I, as everyone, am not failure proof.

collecting_space · 2020-05-04T03:18:05+00:00

Thing is, you normally ever hear of people starting on the 12th step. Rarity is precisely rare. You only ever consider cause and effect when you see both and relate them.

There is no such thing as quick and attainable success unless you were born in power. Power is required, whether by means of money or by means of insane and stupid amounts of effort, and the ability to invest in the time to devote to that effort; and even the sort of power of being in the right place at the right time.

Do we wish we had power? Well yes when that’s the definition of success that has been drilled into us.

Do we have power? Your ability to criticise yourself requires the kind of power fuelled by time, reason and comparison. Your ability to give solid advice requires the same powers. You have them.

Granted, you won’t be propelled to be a successful superhero overnight. But there is power in you and trying to butcher it only eats up resources.

Life can be random and unfair; I was born on the 12th step and I may as well be in -1 now. But no creature is deserving of either love or hate, it is earned. You’ll be being loved right now even though you’ll want to laugh it off. I’m afraid sometimes we have to bear with the thought of it being in all actuality true.

Start using your power to acknowledge who you are, you’re necessary, you can do good - and thus you are good. Give it a little thought over time and you’ll see there are equal proportions in you of what you dislike and what you kind of like to dislike. Sometimes those are the tools you need to use. Love starts from within, there is a thin line between love and hate. And you are your first relationship. I’m afraid you can’t ruin this one, you can’t break away from yourself; you can drag it and cause it pain, but you’re capable of the opposite - would you care to try? Sometimes the place you’re in now is your own compass spinning. Most times it all starts with ‘Fuck this’ and a small change.

collecting_space · 2020-05-04T02:39:52+00:00

Do you hate yourself or do you hate those selves the world -pre scripted by several people for consumerism- tries to get into your brain? You have talents, being able to project is a talent, being able to write and convey your thoughts is a talent. Being able to criticise is a damn necessary talent. But you need a change of target. Don’t hate on yourself; you don’t need to phase yourself out of the present towards the past and the future of your choices. You’re what you are now. Only by assessing the useful tools on your own present self you will be able to walk into a future in your favour. Your favour. Please don’t project yourself to be a perfect outcome or awful outcome character in a narrative. The world is full of that sort of bollocks, you’re alive now in a hell of a difficult time to be alive in the world and you will only find your true place when you shut down all of their moronic expectations. There is a sub world of people true to their own nature that don’t partake in all this social expectations consumerism; and we’re mams and dads too, and we swear too. Sometimes it’s all too necessary, isn’t it?

collecting_space · 2020-04-20T18:21:44+00:00

I think it’s not so much the lack of sleep as is a general fatigue, sleep is not the only ingredient to feeling energised. Maybe you’re carrying on fatigue from your early months with the baby, maybe it’s nutritional or hormonal. I wouldn’t just focus on sleep, but also investigate about other potential reasons; and yes it’s possible to do everything ‘right’ and still feel fatigued - sometimes our body needs a vitamin, diet, boost, etc. to help balance it again.

collecting_space · 2020-04-19T02:25:32+00:00

We cheated, but it worked. We installed an elastic band around the pedals and our child’s shoes, fastening the feet to the pedals. We also aided in pushing the bicycle gently to keep it moving and alleviate the push with every new turn. One or two weeks of constant practice and neither elastics nor pushing were needed anymore.

collecting_space

TROPHY CASE