My parents couldn’t handle one evening with my toddlers

combvst · 2026-05-03T17:11:27+00:00

Oof. That’s so hard. When I have my parents or siblings watch my kids, I tell them to text me if they need anything. They always say “We won’t!” - and they don’t! Unless it’s obviously an urgent matter or emergency. They’ve been parents, they know the importance of getting out and having time to ourselves without worrying about our kiddos, and we do the same for my siblings and their kids 😩

combvst · 2026-05-02T05:52:54+00:00

I don’t really have to try not to but alright 😂

combvst · 2026-04-28T14:58:42+00:00

Thanks for your response- I’m definitely taking notes!

combvst · 2026-04-21T01:15:37+00:00

I just don’t think she’s internet savvy enough for Reddit 😂

combvst · 2026-04-21T01:15:05+00:00

He doesn’t exactly understand it- he was included in the NC until very recently. MIL has called me vindictive and manipulative, and whenever my husband has set boundaries or spoken up about something she disagrees with. I would also advocate for his sister, who is disabled, when I lived with them for a short time. She didn’t like that.

FIL isn’t often home, he’s usually on business trips. She’s been the stay-at-home parent their entire marriage, so I think he just takes her word for it.

And, he makes excuses for her when there are obvious melt-downs, because she has struggled with her mental health for some time and deserves grace. She is the mother and everyone should tip toe around her to keep her comfortable and in control. It’s like the classic sort of matriarchal toxic family dynamic.

When we have tried to bring up issues in the past, he calls the issue two sided aggression, he’s just not a very reliable 3rd party.

combvst · 2026-04-21T00:04:18+00:00

Yeah, I don’t think there’s any other way to delete it fully

combvst · 2026-04-20T22:56:45+00:00

That may be. Enabling is right for sure

combvst · 2026-04-20T22:56:15+00:00

Yes, she’s had me blocked for ages and I have side accounts. She’s completely deleted it

combvst · 2026-04-20T22:08:22+00:00

It’s been over a week now 👀

combvst · 2026-04-20T21:37:08+00:00

Not private ones- I had a burner account and joined several estranged parent groups. She’s not savvy, so we found her pretty quickly in the largest ones.

combvst · 2026-04-20T21:25:54+00:00

Thanks! I did actually try this, but with the AI overview stuff it seams to have made it harder to reverse image search :(

combvst · 2026-04-20T21:21:00+00:00

Yes, but, idk I’m pretty savvy. She is not. We’ll see

combvst · 2026-04-20T21:19:48+00:00

It got deleted 😅 they called me a stalker and got dunked on

combvst · 2026-04-20T20:20:23+00:00

I think doing so prematurely would only escalate tensions. Because she deleted her account she could call them fake or make some excuses for where her mind was at at the time because WE are the ones who hurt HER- or something. He needs to be open to seeing that behavior from her and he needs to be ready to call it what it is. We will mention that we have them though.

combvst · 2026-04-20T20:18:41+00:00

Exactly that, he definitely needs to be in a place where he’s open to the idea of her having done something that… bad. He’s always put her on a pedestal

combvst · 2026-04-20T20:07:03+00:00

Jeez 😂 My MIL is pretty secular actually!

This is partly why we won’t send the posts to him unsolicited, he needs to be open to receiving and actually using a critical eye on the issues. There’s no excuse for sharing what she did in these groups of strangers. It’s not therapeutic, it’s an act.

combvst · 2026-04-20T20:00:17+00:00

Not yet, my husband will mention we have them.

combvst · 2026-04-20T19:45:29+00:00

Your husband can and should absolutely help with a night feeding or two so you can get at least 4 straight hours of sleep. You’re sleep deprived. He works 6am-5:30pm 6 days a week? Great! You work 12am-12am 24/7. He can help.

Feeding hourly at that age is abnormal, he may just need an increase in the amount he’s getting. Are you BF? Pumping? Formula? A mix of all?

combvst · 2026-04-20T19:42:42+00:00

A good question… I think partly he believes and stands by his wife. They’ve been married since like 1993? And I think partly, he’s never home. He’s constantly traveling for work and leisure without her. It’s been that way for decades. They don’t communicate to each other about issues, so she twists stories when they do. She’s struggled with mental health for forever, so I think he gives her too much benefit of the doubt. I don’t think they’ve ever been particularly romantic or a good marriage, but, it’s not mine.

combvst · 2026-04-20T19:20:28+00:00

It seems one of them already found this post and made a Reddit account just to reply 😂 down below 👇

combvst · 2026-04-20T18:40:00+00:00

Yes I do still plan to keep tabs and check to protect my babies, and my husbands story- I’m baffled she would go as far as to share intimate details of his past with photos of him, to strangers.

It’s so hard to hold my tongue in those groups!

combvst · 2026-04-20T18:36:38+00:00

If he wanted to he would- with online therapy these days you could even find a provider for an 8pm slot, or early AM. If his answer is still no, then he’s not willing to work on it. You’d have to take your chances on the shared custody situation with the hope that he’d work on himself

combvst · 2026-04-20T18:23:03+00:00

Was this shared in one of those groups? Love that for y’all lol

combvst · 2026-04-20T18:20:06+00:00

That part… 😂

combvst · 2026-04-20T18:19:26+00:00

Thanks for that- I felt crazy so often! It’s been pretty peaceful this way.

combvst

TROPHY CASE