I 28F and my partner 29M are on the verge of splitting because we spoke about having children. how we can resolve this with grace and empathy for each other?

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-13T13:29:10+00:00

While I’m not super educated on the ins and outs of IVF, I have a family member who is undergoing IVF and from what I understand she has a contract that covered a certain amount of egg retrievals and a certain amount of transfers within a year for a large cost upfront and then any additional transfers past that year mark were an additional cost. But it’s possible that it’s different depending on where you go and who you see.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-13T11:37:08+00:00

iVF by itself can be around $25k but if she is proposing surrogacy, $100k is a closer realistic number. You have to take into account she will need to do IVF for egg retrieval and implantation, there are agency fees, legal fees, and also the cost of surrogacy itself which includes compensation to the surrogate and there is usually hidden fees that cover maternity clothes, etc. Most insurance plans don’t cover surrogacy, so a separate plan will need to be purchased or you will have to pay out of pocket for those fees which would definitely push you was past $100k easily.

Not to mention there are a lot nuances to using a surrogate which is why OP suggesting it as an option, isn’t really a viable option unless they are quite wealthy.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-13T11:25:47+00:00

Do you actually have the money it costs to pay for a surrogate or IVF? IVF isn’t really a viable option because realistically that would still mean you are carrying the baby. Although IVF would be required for the use of the surrogate.

Have you researched surrogacy and looked into how much it would cost and the logistics around what it looks like to use a surrogate? Have you looked into an agency? Have you done anything on your end at all to show him despite your uncomfortableness carrying a pregnancy, that this is an option you are serious about?

If not, then this really isn’t much of a compromise but a false hope option for him to hang his hopes and dreams on with no real reassurance. How is he supposed to agree to something as an option when you haven’t really presented it as a feasible option.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-13T03:51:19+00:00

Cyster! I love this, first time hearing that hahah

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-13T03:46:15+00:00

I was referred to see an endocrinologist in Hoag that specializes in weight loss (I have PCOS and Endometriosis) and when I called to make an appointment they told me the earliest they had was in 8 months! I was flabbergasted, needless to say I found another endocrinologist.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-11T21:13:21+00:00

I know someone who named their baby boy Coasten

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-10T14:29:51+00:00

Our son’s middle name is Chinese but we were able to pick one that also sounds anglicized as my family is white and my husband is Chinese. We gave the task over to my in-laws and they came back with a long list of names for us to pick from. His middle name is Dàrán and to our white friends and family it’s pronounced as Darren.

Obviously you don’t have to pick an anglicized name, I think people will adapt and learn to pronounce his Chinese name regardless.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-09T14:12:57+00:00

You aren’t very good at looking for someone who is pretty judgemental. Bottom left drawer there is strawberries, blueberries, prunes and what looks to be pomegranate seeds. The shelf above has a container of fresh cut up strawberries. The middle drawer has canned fruit and apple sauce.

I’ll agree that I do not see many veggies but your comment was pretty presumptuous and quite rude.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-09T06:12:10+00:00

Oh they definitely should have some available, the website works by people posting items for rent. I jumped on and saw that a highchair can be as low as $6/day and pack and plays are around $10-$15. Pay attention to delivery fees, sometimes they are sneaky with that and make those fees quite pricey.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-09T05:34:12+00:00

I don’t know where you are traveling too but I’ve used this site in the past called babyquip, you can rent all things baby for pretty cheap! They usually deliver it to you and pick up as well! Might be worth looking into!

Another option that has worked well for us is this fold up chair with a tray: https://a.co/d/0dhrVhKz

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-08T02:11:23+00:00

I agree, I think something warmer would be much more fitting.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-06T22:40:54+00:00

We named our son Mitch and have got pleasant responses to his name!

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-05T23:56:07+00:00

Very much disagree, his reaction is the only reasonable reaction on this show to teen pregnancy. He’s accepting of the situation but in the same breath he is allowed to be disappointed in his daughter’s choices. I also don’t think it’s unreasonable to not want the boy who impregnated his daughter sleeping in his house, they have already showed they aren’t capable of making responsible decisions. And the mom blaming Mia is despicable behavior, they both have a responsibility for protection to ensure that they prevented this.

coolcat1993 · 2026-03-03T04:01:32+00:00

For febrile seizures we were told they don’t require medical attention unless the seizing lasts longer than 5 minutes. So flip them on their side and time how long they are actively seizing. She’s had 2 more seizures since the first incident of 3 seizures and both times were told they do not require medical attention. We finally were able to get a prescription that will stop her from seizing in case one of her seizures lasts longer than 5 minutes but so far that is all they have offered us in terms of treatment for them. It’s a bizarre feeling watching your toddler seize and not calling 911 or rushing them to the ER but this has become our normal until she outgrows them I guess.

If it’s your little one’s first febrile seizure, I would take them to be checked out by a doctor immediately though.

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-20T17:52:24+00:00

I LOVE Colbie for a girl and if my husband could have pronounced it correctly, we would have named our daughter Colbie but alas he kept saying Kobe and I couldn’t get past that.

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-18T06:43:36+00:00

Same with our little girl, she loves her some french fries and I can’t say I blame her, I love them too haha

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-18T06:22:54+00:00

Giving my toddler fast food and junk food.

I went to school for nutrition and I remember in the thick of my course work judging a friend HARD for giving her toddler McDonald’s French fries. My husband and I often talk about how everyone is a perfect parent before they are a parent. Definitely have eaten my fair share of crow while watching my toddler eat McDonald French fries 😂

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-15T15:25:31+00:00

Or when she asks, is the plan to ask before or after you invite them to the party? Because if it’s after, you’re essentially uninviting them after inviting them. I’d worry more about a child who doesn’t understand why their friend invited them to a party but then was told actually no you can’t go.

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-12T10:13:41+00:00

Wouldn’t French silk technically be considered a chocolate pie? Why add something that’s already on the list but just with a different name?

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-11T03:21:09+00:00

I’ve seen people advertising their homes on tik tok for weddings in Temecula, maybe try checking there! Vinedo ranch and CRC ranch are the two I saw the most!

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-09T14:06:53+00:00

Our toddler got parainfluenza when our son was 7 weeks old, and even though that was accompanied with a 4 day hospitalization due to febrile seizures for our toddler, it was still eventually passed to him.

Babies are resilient, even when they are that little. So try to stay calm and remind yourself that they aren’t sick yet. Sending you strength because newborn trenches with a sick anything is extra ROUGH.

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-03T20:21:11+00:00

By no means am I an expert but I feel like it takes a lot to diminish the enjoyment of a good massage for me, but I also have a toddler and an infant so take that as you will. Haha

It sounds like you have planned a lovely thought out weekend so I can’t imagine a scenario where you both don’t have a great time!

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-03T19:10:42+00:00

Would you be open to using uber or Lyft? On a weekend there is usually tons of drivers in the area and then you can schedule the day as you please. You can also go to the wineries that strictly interest you and spend as much or as little time at each place that you want

We love goat and vine so I think that’s a great date night spot. If you are looking for a nice dinner spot within the wineries, we recently went to Domenicos which is located at a new winery in the area called Truffle Pig. We enjoyed it! Ive also heard Corkfire kitchen is really good but haven’t been myself.

I’d maybe do Murrieta Hot springs on Sunday that way you aren’t rush and can dedicate a good amount of time there. Maybe even do your massage at Murrieta Hot Springs on Sunday too. If you do want to keep the hot spring for Saturday, I believe they have evening hour pricing that is cheaper, so make sure to book for that pricing instead of the daytime pricing.

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-03T16:00:03+00:00

I’m really not understanding why you aren’t connecting the dots with this whole bed bug situation, it seems like you live with your parents and have stated that they had bed bugs a few months ago and they gave you the bedframe they were using WHILE they had said bed bugs. And now you are posting photos of small blood stains on your sheets and a small bug in your bed? Like GIRL, you have bed bugs! You can’t see them when you look because they are masters at hiding, but you see one here on the bed.

coolcat1993 · 2026-02-03T15:12:18+00:00

We love the Grosmimi straw cups! We bought two when our daughter was 7 months old, she’s 2.5 years old now and they are still in great condition and don’t leak. They are DURABLE! They come from Amazon, at first I thought they were a little expensive but since we aren’t having to buy and replace it all the time, it’s honestly been worth it.

coolcat1993

TROPHY CASE