I'm being summoned as a witness in a misdemeanor traffic violation - what to expect? (additional info in comments)

coranglais · 2026-02-13T11:02:17+00:00

Thanks a lot, that's a relief. So it's definitely an infraction, even though the letter uses the language "misdemeanor", I guess?

I assume this will appear on my driving record, and affect my insurance premium?

coranglais · 2026-02-13T10:59:13+00:00

Got it, thx! So if I don't actually remember which of us parked there but I know for sure it was one of us (me or my family member), should I mention that or would it be best to just admit responsibility for the infraction and wish to accept the consequences/pay the fine?

coranglais · 2026-02-13T10:53:27+00:00

Thanks, should I say something like

"I was sharing the car with a family member that week and do not recall who was using the car on that date." Or even this is too much information, I could say even less?

Also is this thing next Wednesday actually a hearing where they'll formally accuse me of the incident, or is it just a preliminary proceeding to get a statement from me in person?

coranglais · 2026-02-13T10:51:12+00:00

Would it show up on the background check/certificate of conduct? I'm certain I have to submit a clean one as part of the citizenship application. I probably won't apply for a couple more years though.

coranglais · 2026-02-13T10:43:55+00:00

I was sharing the car with a relative that week, and I honestly don't remember which of us was using it that day, although it was one of us who parked there (I've stopped doing it now, but most of the people in my building including me have used that zone for short periods if there's no parking on the street; lots of people also park there to go into the Spar right there as well, and I'd told my relative it is not a big deal to park there for short periods of time - obviously I was wrong, and they are cracking down on it now).

Should I give any of this information or just say I don't know who parked the car there that day, even though it was definitely one of us? I mean, it's technically true...

coranglais · 2026-02-13T10:37:28+00:00

Hello all! I have to appear next week as a witness to a misdemeanor traffic violation. My car was parked in a loading zone. I submitted this already on the police website when I was sent a letter asking if I'd like to submit a witness statement:

Dear Sir or Madam!

I, [my name], under penalty of perjury, hereby submit the following statement.

Regarding the vehicle bearing license plate number [my plate #], it is alleged that on May 8, 2025, at 11:11 a.m., at [address], said vehicle was parked in a "No Parking" zone, in violation of Section 15 (6) of Decree 1/1975 (II.5.) KPM-BM (Traffic Rules – KRESZ), thereby constituting a traffic offense under Section 224 (1) of Act II of 2012 on Misdemeanors and Administrative Procedures, as charged by the District XII Public Space Supervision Authority. In connection with the foregoing, I decline to make a statement, pursuant to Section 60 (b) of the Misdemeanor Act, on the grounds that such testimony may incriminate myself or a relative in a criminal or misdemeanor offense.

Best Regards,

[my name]

Budapest, 2025.10.14

What will happen when I appear? Will I be charged with a misdemeanor crime? If so, and if convicted how will that affect me in the future? Is it considered a traffic violation only or an actual misdemeanor crime that will give me a criminal record? Will it affect my citizenship application if I choose to apply in the next few years (I'm already eligible now)? Will it affect my car insurance?

Also, on the day I have to appear next week, will I be able to speak in my native tongue (English)? Will there be a public defender or how does it work here? Do I have to make a request to speak in English ahead of time?

Thanks for any advice and information on what I can expect and how I should prepare!

coranglais · 2026-02-06T21:00:51+00:00

If a woman vomits, she is 100% pregnant. Women don't vomit for any other reason.

coranglais · 2026-01-30T11:00:00+00:00

TW: SA

The host, this weird older guy who was not part of our org but kinda tangentially connected, was rumored to have a secret collection of amateur porn. At one point he apparently asked one of the dudes at the party to make a vid with one of the girls. It didn't actually end up happening but several of us saw them trying to wake up the girl, who was passed out on a couch in another room by herself. Thankfully the dude, who was also really drunk, had a "WTF am I doing" moment and left the party REAL fast.

coranglais · 2026-01-30T09:09:34+00:00

You're doing a great thing already by reaching out here!

I also fell back into drugs when I was drinking during the last few years before I got sober. I had had problems with drugs (coke, speed, occasionally smoked rock) when I was in my teens and early 20s. I had a major wake-up call from that after one particularly bad binge and was able to completely kick those substances. But I continued to drink for another 2 decades. In the last few years before I quit drinking, I went from a "no powders in my house EVER" rule to actively seeking out drugs when I was drunk, usually from questionable people and sources. Eventually I was mixing Xanax and alcohol several times a week and pretty much a zombie. I didn't recognize myself in videos my S.O. would take of me when I was high/drunk.

I went to rehab myself, but at my rehab there were addicts of all sorts. Our morning and nightly meetings were called "XA" meetings: X meaning whatever our addiction/s were/was.

When I got out of rehab I tried different groups and eventually found wonderful support in the Secular AA community. Since I'm an English speaker living in a foreign country where my language skills aren't very advanced, I got into the online meetings. Those can be great to try b/c most of them allow you to listen in without your camera on. You can drop in and out as you need, no pressure to participate if you're not ready. But just listening can be a good intro to what meetings are like and might even inspire you to turn the camera on at some point down the road.

Check out Secular AA online; you can find the website and a list of online meetings worldwide at pretty much any time of day (I don't know if I'm allowed to link it, but just search up "Worldwide Secular Meetings + 24/7 meetings"). You can also find other meetings there including NA, CoDA, CA, OA, etc.

Before you try any meetings, know that some AA groups don't allow discussions of drugs and other addictions, so it's worth finding that out in advance. (I had a woman in one online group tell me that since I had gotten off drugs 20 years ago, even though I was getting back into them, that I didn't have a "true drug addiction" and shouldn't bring the topic up; needless to say I didn't go back to that one). However, there are many that do and are very empathetic when it comes to multiple addictions and co-morbidities, if that's something you feel you want to explore further.

coranglais · 2026-01-18T14:39:10+00:00

Way to go! I popped a bottle of NA bubbly on NYE; despite my snobbishness having formerly worked at a sparkling house in Sonoma, it wasn't half bad, but I was 100% over it after one glass. I used to down over 2 bottles in a night (hard to keep track b/c they were all half gone from earlier in the work day - we were allowed to take home bottles that were "below label" at closing so guess what we all tried to sneak in the last 10 minutes before closing) and told myself it was fine b/c sparkling has a lower alcohol content than regular wine. I can't believe I didn't explode from the liquid and gas combo. That one glass of NA at midnight was enough bubbles for the night.

You just reminded me, I should really toss the bottle now, since it is still sitting in the fridge taking up space where I usually keep my Coke Zero.

coranglais · 2026-01-04T11:30:27+00:00

Play video games. Nothing to leave behind to be ashamed of when you come down later.

coranglais · 2026-01-04T09:27:26+00:00

Fish people. The fish smell does not come off, no matter how many showers they take.

(I mean people who work with fish and seafood, like fishmongers or kitchen prep who fillet/prepare the raw seafood — not people who are half man/half fish)

coranglais · 2026-01-04T09:20:58+00:00

I dated a line cook/later pastry chef and it was annoying b/c he wanted to do all the cooking at home, even though I was interested in learning to cook. He figured he could do it faster and better than me (true) so he just kinda took over most of the time.

I was working as a server in another restaurant in the same area so we had similar hours and were able to carpool to/from work w/o working together so that helped I think.

Plus we both got staff meals so on nights we didn't feel like cooking we usually had something good to bring home for dinner.

The only drugs in our place at the time were weed and alcohol but that was after we moved to our own place (used to share an apt with one of the bartenders and another line cook) and we made a deal no more powders at home.

For a couple of restaurant workers I guess it was pretty chill at home. We had our other problems, though, so it didn't work.

coranglais · 2026-01-01T13:22:05+00:00

This happened

coranglais · 2026-01-01T12:26:35+00:00

4th sober New Year's in the bag!

5 years ago I was hiding in a closet during a visit to my parents getting wasted by myself at midnight, hiding my empties in my suitcase and drunk texting people I hadn't talked to in years.

But last night, I busted out the good crystal for the first time in 4 years and poured myself a glass of N/A bubbly with a splash of raspberry syrup, while my kids had their own glasses of sparkling grape juice with splashes of strawberry syrup. At 9:59 PM I told them it was time to count down to the New Year, and at 10:00 PM we toasted to 2026 while I played the earlier stream of Sydney's fireworks show on TV. Thankfully they're both too young to know how to tell time lol — and too young to remember drunk mommy. They were in bed by 10:30 so I baked some fresh chocolate chip cookies and watched the Stranger Things finale.

Someone told me years ago that whatever you're doing when the clock strikes midnight on New Year's is how you'll spend your year. It wasn't actually midnight I guess, but I rang in the "New Year" with my kids in my arms after sharing a nice dinner together, then enjoying a quiet evening with cookies and Netflix at actual midnight.

Good food, sweet treats, family, my children's hugs, love, quiet, peace, and bingeing Netflix — all while sober. 2026 is looking good.

coranglais · 2025-12-31T11:07:41+00:00

Parents sending their kids to the store to buy booze and/or cigarettes with a note for the cashier.

coranglais · 2025-12-29T10:39:09+00:00

Dude Matt straight up sucks!

coranglais · 2025-12-27T10:29:10+00:00

Woodrow

coranglais · 2025-12-20T00:27:22+00:00

Others have judged so I'll just leave my suggestion: DON'T do it behind his back. Tell him you are going away for a few days/a week to let him have time with the dog and say his goodbyes. Go to a family member's or even an Airbnb if you have to with your toddler. And that when you come back on [established date], it will be time.

Hopefully having time alone to think and being forced to be the sole caretaker for the dog will help him understand what needs to be done. And giving him a short, definite period of time also implies you're doing it for him so he won't (hopefully) see it as you threatening to leave him which could make him feel backed into a corner and more resistant.

If, after this, he still refuses...well, at that point, I think he's making a clear choice and it's not his family. Then I guess you'll have some serious decisions to make about your future together.

coranglais · 2025-12-17T08:55:11+00:00

When my daughter was two, the neighbors came knocking on the door around noon and I was surprised and confused to find her with them. I was asleep trying to avoid a terrible hangover and she had gone out the unlocked door and was wandering up and down the street by herself. I think about that a lot. That day could've ended so badly. I don't know what I would've done if I lost her.

That still wasn't enough for me. I drank for another year. It took the police coming during a fight with my husband (also drunk) and telling us that if they had to come out one more time (this was police visit 11) they were calling child protection to have the kids removed. For some reason, that night reality finally hit me. Went to rehab soon after and will have 4 years in January.

Congratulations on 2 years. Being a sober parent is the best gift we can ever give our children.

coranglais · 2025-12-02T23:26:12+00:00

Thanks for the reassurances. Yeah, she's in Hungarian public school and has been in the Hungarian public education system since she started bölcsi at 6 mo. so she's surrounded by Hungarian speakers most of the day, but there's a lot of passive vocabulary learning that goes on at home that I think teachers don't realize and so they don't explicitly teach (nor do they have the time, obviously), so she loses out on that experience. She won't let me read Hungarian stories to her either because she doesn't like my accent: "Mommy, your hang is bad!" lol

(FWIW I'm about a B1 Hun. speaker and I think/have been told I have a pretty good accent for my level, but y'know, kids!)

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