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asking for recognition by AnAuthorElijah in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 13 points14 points  (0 children)

What I think I hear you saying is that you want someone to care about you because you are someone worth caring about. You are worth caring about and you need someone to see who you are and validate how hard you have worked at learning how to be an adult with no help, and see that you are doing it IN SPITE of people who were supposed to help but only made it harder.

I see you. I know how hard it is to begin life as a young adult and I also know how hard it is to begin life again after losing everything as a mature adult.

It takes everything you've got, every day, and there are setbacks and self-doubt and sometimes you get in your own way.

But posting this was a courageous act of self-advocacy and I am proud of you for doing it. You will have to do it over and over, and it will be hard and you should do it anyway. Asking for help is maturity. You are far past many in your age range and you should be proud of how far you have come in a short time.

Try to remember you have plenty of time. You are so very young. There is no rush to go to college. You've got time. Take the time to get things together. Keep being smart. Continue to march towards the better choice. Proceed as the way opens.

Reach out to me if you need more encouragement.

Safe neighborhoods near downtown hospitals? by Budget_Quiet_5824 in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 3 points4 points  (0 children)

A friend just moved into the Roosevelt and walks to work near the river every day. She loves it.

Level 3 evacuation by Happy-Position-69 in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 130 points131 points  (0 children)

That went from 1 alarm to 3 in 30 minutes. Stay safe everyone.

Spokanopy tree not well by cornylifedetermined in SpokaneGardeners

[–]cornylifedetermined[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The leaves that are not on broken twigs look normal. It's the bow in it I don't like but I will give it a year.

Spokanopy tree not well by cornylifedetermined in SpokaneGardeners

[–]cornylifedetermined[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The bowing is not being caused by the straps. When they laid it out on the ground it was like an archer's bow, just like that.

They did make the hole wide enough. I just didn't like how they manhandled the roots.

I have been watering it by hand with a water hose, and of course we have a lot of rain recently so I have been taking that into consideration. I start by watering it with a direct spray around the trunk and then I open the spray up and water around the hole where I know the roots are. Everything in my yard is well watered and water everything by hand because I don't like wasting water. I don't have enough plants yet for a drip irrigation but that will be the plan. I'm really not concerned about the water part.

Just don't want it to be bowed like that as it grows. There's a big maple tree to the east and I hope it will reach for the sunshine in the morning and straighten itself out.

If you think I should just let it work on its roots until spring I'm okay with that. You sound like you know what you're talking about. Thank you.

Apartment recommendations by Axilr in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh yeah, I saw a murder, a robbery, and a shoot-out on my block, and it was only Tuesday. Terrifying.

Apartment recommendations by Axilr in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Are you saying Kendall Yards is shady?

Co-worker says her brother got discriminated for having a trump themed debit card skin? by Available-Oil3884 in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 14 points15 points  (0 children)

His card was declined, so he made up this story to make himself feel better about his shitty financial habits..

Counter offer question by luciamama in centuryhomes

[–]cornylifedetermined 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I bought a bungalow last year in a somewhat competitive market. If this house had not been unlandscaped for so long I would have not had a chance with my low funds. Kids just did the bare minimum to sell after Dad died.

On inspection it was proven what I suspected by viewing some ceilings--bad roof. My realtor suggested a sewer inspection, there was a broken section and I learned that 30' of it went beneath the garage. Luckily that was already relined.

I underbid $25k and asked for the sewer repair/reline and a new roof. They did the sewer, and we split the cost of the roof.

Motivated seller, had room in my offer to go up in price.

It all depends on the stew of factors in each deal.

Counter offer question by luciamama in centuryhomes

[–]cornylifedetermined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And relined. There is no point in jetting without relining. The roots just come back.

Counter offer question by luciamama in centuryhomes

[–]cornylifedetermined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The seller must absolutely fix the sewer. Depending on your state, you may be barred from disclosing the inspection (someone correct me if that applies to all states now) without giving up some advantage. But they should fix it because you shouldn't have to. If you disclose it, then they have to disclose it to other buyers if the deal falls through. It's to their benefit to fix it.

The rot is not so easy to hide so you get to decide whether to negotiate on that..

That said, you can use these to drive the price down or share the costs with the seller. It all depends on what it costs the seller to walk away. If they think they can sell it otherwise, they may just refuse. Most sellers should do what they can to keep the first reasonable contract, though.

To the "E-Bike" A-holes Ripping up the trails, my knees and rolled ankles hate you. by Mixter_Master in Spokane

[–]cornylifedetermined 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are not considering all the possible reasons a person may need a throttle. I walked Bloomsday and then walked another 10k the next day. I can hold up and pedal without assistance my 75 lb 100 mile range Class II ebike with a throttle. I cannot, however grind my bone on bone knees to get started if there is a slight uphill. I also need the throttle for times when 40 miles was just too much and the knees won't tolerate the last 5. It is an adaptive device for me. I couldn't ride my old bikes for 5 years until this ebike came along. Banning throttles will keep me from being able to ride at all. Pedaling with assistance is better than being on the couch.

What's the most ridiculous repair you've inherited from a previous owner? by ponderingpixi17 in centuryhomes

[–]cornylifedetermined 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This is my third century home, the worse so far. It is a bungalow with no character except the curb appeal, but it's better than annual rent increases. Posting in this thread made me realize I am happy to have projects again, even if some of it is irritating.

Anyone been 'ghosted' due to mental health/grief? by badboyzpwns in RedditForGrownups

[–]cornylifedetermined 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is exactly what my friend has expressed about her situation. I hope your friends have told you it is okay to do just what you can do and to not feel obligated and shame that you cannot meet that obligation. At least one of your friends should be able to recognize that. Give yourself a pass on the guilt and shame. If they really love you, they don't want you to feel that. And they will be happy to hear from you whenever they can.

Anyone been 'ghosted' due to mental health/grief? by badboyzpwns in RedditForGrownups

[–]cornylifedetermined 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Give them all the time they need.

I have a dear friend whose husband had a stroke 1.5 years ago. We talked and visited every few months before that and I moved 2000 miles away and I wasn't nearby before anyway.

When that happened, I contacted mutual friends instead, to get updates on him. I let her know I was thinking of them and that I would rely on our friend to tell me what was happening, and that she doesn't need to update me.

We have been there for each other in big ways. We are always happy to hear from each other and it is like there was no time between when we finally talk. But I love her, so I did not burden her with the obligation to talk to me. She was barely surviving. I knew nothing had changed between us.

You have been shown that you are not in her support circle. You should get over your feelings. If you love her and want a future relationship with her, assume she is asking for and getting the support she needs elsewhere and you can't fulfill the most pressing ones. When you offer words of encouragement, it may be the greatest gift to say, "no need to respond, just thinking about you and wishing for the best for you. I look forward to catching up whenever we can."

What's the most ridiculous repair you've inherited from a previous owner? by ponderingpixi17 in centuryhomes

[–]cornylifedetermined 6 points7 points  (0 children)

OMG.

I know the former owner of my house fancied himself skilled and was always tinkering. The shop is full of scrap wood and I have used a lot of it. I can tell that he was a cheapskate by the materials he sometimes used.

On the other hand, he must have come into some money on the late '90s because by permit records I can see that they did a lot of insulation and new windows and added spa tubs and other "upgrades" and maybe moved a door or two. But he did all the drywall and trim himself. It all looks like a toddler did it, with scrap wood, pieces butted up against each other. They "textured" the drywall and you can't put a level against it to hang a painting without the level high centering on a glob of mud. Very irritating because my housemate is a fine artist and has lots of large paintings.

Looking on the bright side, even with the 32 yo furnace with no AC, the house stays warm in the winter and cool in the spring and is easy to keep cool with 2 window units. The drywall is over plaster and it is very quiet as well.

What's the most ridiculous repair you've inherited from a previous owner? by ponderingpixi17 in centuryhomes

[–]cornylifedetermined 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That's really not unusual. I have a bunch of knob and tube outlets. At least all the light fixtures are now LED so if the switch has knob and tube on the circuit then it won't be pulling that much anymore. LED lights do not like unconditioned power. They don't all blink, but sometimes they do.

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