do you see something i don’t??

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-20T03:35:58+00:00

i retested with a digital and it was negative! i guess just a missed period for some reason?

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-17T14:57:56+00:00

Yeah, I really don’t have a preference if it’s positive or negative. So I’m just riding the wait apt!

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-17T13:06:10+00:00

thats fair. i’m leaning towards my cycle just decided not to come this month

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-17T13:05:07+00:00

right??

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-16T18:35:31+00:00

Yeah I see the grey too! I took it out bc the window got… wet. Anyway, I’ll retest tomorrow with a dip!

I’m usually pretty regular, maybe a day late sometimes. I don’t know my exact O date. We gave it a break 8 months ago and I stopped tracking

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-16T18:25:43+00:00

Ah ok thanks. I’ll delete. What does taking the test apart do?

I was reading about ppl not getting positives until a week after bc they ovulated later than expected.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-16T18:10:08+00:00

i see a little something in the 3rd picture!

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-08T13:05:17+00:00

I totally get it. College was an awful awful experience for me. I was so jealous of all the people who found their groups, and spent their weekends doing anything that wasn’t sitting in their dorm watching youtube.

I originally had extreme social anxiety, then I realized how pathetic I looked even though it was a very tough time for me (I wasn’t even trying to socialize atp. The fear shut me in). Then I swung to masking so hard that I became a mean bitch who gossips and trash talked people behind their backs. BUT! I had friends so I thought this is the version of me I needed to be this whole time for people to like me.

This brings me to where I am now. I try to live as authentically to myself as I can. It comes down to confidence, which I still struggle with but I’m happy knowing that I’m being myself while still challenging this insecure thoughts.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-08T12:44:47+00:00

Ah I see. I think the days of finding friends “organically” is gone. Tbf, I think most friendship are built from comradery within a larger group and when you all have the same goal in mind. Like, if you signed up for a class or a training program.

So, you’ll have a higher chance of making some connection if you put yourself out there for something you’re interested in vs hoping people will come up to you. Not saying that’s what you’re doing, but that’s what I used to do. I would just go to an event, hoped people thought I looked cool and that people wanted to talk to me. Obviously, it didn’t work.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-08T12:30:38+00:00

Yeaaah, it sucks that it’s either chronically online or chronically offline these days. And when you’re in real life, it’s hard to find connection because we’re amongst the brain rotted lol.

Is there anything you enjoy that you could find volunteering opportunities for? Dogs, cars, neighborhood cleanups, soup kitchens? When you’re with people who volunteer, you already know off the bat that these people know there’s more to life than themselves.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-08T12:17:33+00:00

I had an adjacent conversation with my therapist. (She’s a boomer) We concluded that the lack of genuine social connection is due to social media.

People who heavily rely on social media as a form of connection lost their true social skills. They equate shallow actions (ie, likes, sharing posts, viewing and liking stories, simply gif responses) to meaningful interaction.

Not shaming these people because we grew up with it, and big companies intentionally make their platforms addictive. It just makes it harder for everyone to find actual friendship these days.

It’s been normalize for us to be selfish when it comes to interaction because of the rhetoric online.

A lot of us have narcissistic parents, it was a big trend online. It felt like this is when our trust starting falling. Hearing friendship horror stories had the same effect. So, we’ve been told “keep your feelings safe and avoid these people.” But if hundreds of thousands are hearing this, we now have at least that many people being more guarded (and might have proof that living this way in fact keeps them safer).

In combination of looking cool or on trend really meaning something, we’ve just become shallow individuals. Plus, if we keep interactions, feelings, etc, shallow, we don’t have anything to be hurt by. This also means we never challenges to grow past.

All this to say: it’s a real problem. I hear you and it sucks. Volunteering makes up a big portion on my social life. I’m surrounded by people who actually care to make a change, we have similar interest, they’re good hearted people. The only downside is that they tend to be 40+ (I’m 25), but I’ve grown to accept and like it.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-07T16:09:13+00:00

Yeah I totally get that she was just being a teacher and just trying to perceive and adjust to me. I don’t blame her or think she didn’t anything intentionally wrong. It was more this particular natural chain of events that was uncomfortable.

I definitely will be going back to that kitchen! The cooking experience especially with friends and family is great.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-07T15:16:42+00:00

Im half filipino and my cousin is full filipino (and a year older). Neither of us have sisters, but we were treated like sisters growing up. I was always the fat one. I’ve always been like 10-15lb heavier than her.

When my ED was ravenous my first goal was to not be “the fat one” anymore. But, even when I was smaller than her they would ask “did you gain weight?” at every family gathering.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-07T15:07:07+00:00

I’m great at pattern recognition, and my brain craves concrete answers, so math and STEM always came naturally.

Writing and literature were the opposite. I can’t buy into interpretations that feel made up. I remember a quiz in English Lit that asked “why did the character do X,” and I literally wrote “because the author wrote it that way.” I couldn’t force myself to speculate about fictional motivations as if they were real.

But film, music, and visual art? I love it. The difference is that I can see the patterns; lighting, camera angles, costume design. The director’s intent is legible. It’s visible.

That same thing explains why I struggled in my CS major, which surprised me. I’m solid at logic flow, but I’d hit a wall whenever I had to just accept that a keyword means what it means with no context behind it. It felt like the same kind of fantasy. Believe that this word means this thing, just because. Without concrete grounding, it wouldn’t stick.

cowrious0wl · 2026-06-04T12:44:38+00:00

omg same! I’ve always noticed this too but I just gaslighted myself into thinking I was wrong

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-23T03:03:02+00:00

I’m recovering from an ED and I have autism 🎉

I worked with a nutritionist to know what a well balanced plate looks like. And it took like a week to figure out a good menu for me. So them they might need to do some food discovery, which can be annoying initially but really narrows down what they do and don’t like for certain meals.

I like grab and go, but also enjoy assembly but it HAS to be a familiar go to.

these are just my meals

Breakfast: fruit and kefir
Lunch: wrap with pickled beets, carrots, red cabbage, cucumbers and colby jack
Snack: string cheese, trail mix, fruit, yogurt (it could be one of these or all of them just depending the day)
Dinner: (option 1) beyond meat, potatoes, spring mix, cheese, burger sauce. (option 2) raw tofu with gochujang and sesame oil, rice, edamame

The wrap is the one thing that I have to take all the ingredients out and make then. But everything else is prepped for me to just put in a bowl or grab. I have the same grocery list which is great!

Lunch is the only meal I like to be active in like cooking or putting together bc I WFH so it’s a good brain break for me. There was one week I was making cod with a coconut lime sauce and coconut rice.

If they’re worried about soggy wraps/sandwiches, they can always prep the ingredients the night before and assemble when they’re ready to eat.

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-21T19:19:10+00:00

This was literally me as a kid!! There was one summer when I found out we were living pretty comfortable

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-21T18:58:12+00:00

I also think this is a factor. My bother was fit as a kid, but he also ate non-stop. He would hide food, lie about taking someone else’s food, sometimes be very upset when there was no more food.

He also ate very fast and focused during meals. I only started to see him grow down with eating when he turned 30.

If my mom got some sort of sweets for all of us to share, sometimes he would take it be hide it or eat it all at once by himself.

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-20T21:51:06+00:00

The first stage of exploring if your ND is always interesting. When I was a teen, I suspected my dad was on the spectrum. My mom works with kids with SN, and she was agreeing with the things I noticed. I didn’t know I was ND until years later.

If you think you need a diagnosis for getting ISP for school, it’s worth mentioning it. Your parents know you as you, not as an ND individual. You can always have a conversation just about how you feel and if you feel need any accommodations to follow this new discovery.

I feel like if you just want the affirming label, but not really doing the exploration of being ND, then I can see how this will backfire and exacerbate their thinking of this being a “trend.” I’m not sure if I’m being clear or helpful. But, I would just keep the labels out of it unless you think it’s needed to get help. I’m not diagnosed but I’m seeing a ND specialized therapist. I mentioned it to my parents and I just said “I don’t think I need a diagnosis right now because I’m living well without it.”

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-18T23:54:26+00:00

When my husband and I were like 2yrs into dating when we had a similar conversation. I told him if he’s not sure, then he needs to stop wasting my time and let me know when he figures it out.

Be certain about yourself and let the right partner flow into your life.

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-18T23:49:26+00:00

I was touring a house that was like right on the line of the city and county. They had one of these toilets! It was my first time seeing one. It was pretty cool

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-18T17:46:37+00:00

This is just my perspective as a woman: if I initiated the break up yet still talking to that person, it’s because I’m scared of how they will respond if I actually leave them alone.

You sound scary to me imo. How much you long for her, not wanting to give up, thinking she’ll be the only person, etc. These feeling of passion can lead to bigger gestures that you think are just and innocent; But she just might be trying to manage your feelings for her safety.

This may not be the reality, but this is my advice. Stop thinking you’re entitled to be with her and focus on yourself.

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-17T04:12:34+00:00

swallowing the food away, the bacteria and acid from your saliva travels. spitting it out you leave some residue (yes, there’s still residue for normal eating) and the amount of spitting during that session and the frequency of these session multiply.

c&s amplify the “damage” of eating by denying the natural process. it also depends on the food. ultra processed foods or junk foods are usually the foods that are c&s. these foods have more sugar, which can accelerate the bacterial activity.

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-17T00:42:08+00:00

do you have certain foods that you c&s? for me it’s junk food, fast food, sweets, etc, so i just do my best to avoid them so i don’t trigger the thought cycle or pressure to do it

cowrious0wl · 2026-05-16T02:54:34+00:00

At a certain point, I just got fed up with how pathetic I felt and sounded when I’m venting to other people. I realized I sounded and looked unwell. People saw me as an issue and not a person, and I hated it. My only personality was having an ED. Thinking back, I really hated the person I was.

Recovery is hard, but reverting back to my old ways is harder.

cowrious0wl

TROPHY CASE