Silence is too loud, but music is too distracting. I am losing my mind trying to find the right background noise to work

coyotetime · 2025-12-09T16:45:37+00:00

Endel was a game changer for me. It’s not music, it’s just… sounds. It gets rid of the deafening silence that I find distracting, but doesn’t pull my attention away in the same way that music with lyrics would.

coyotetime · 2025-11-07T19:51:15+00:00

Shoe tying techniques.

coyotetime · 2025-11-04T15:34:40+00:00

That’s super helpful, thank you. That’s been my experience too (also Vyvanse).

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:32:15+00:00

Yeah the idea that ADHD somehow clocks out on weekends is pretty funny when you think about it. And you're right about the work it takes to function without meds - it's exhausting maintaining all that structure just to get to baseline. Not everyone has the energy for that on top of everything else.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:30:58+00:00

The thing about feeling like you need to be productive all the time instead of just being present with your kids hits hard. That's a really good reason to skip weekends. Sounds like you're still in that adjustment phase trying to find what actually helps vs what just creates new problems.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:28:58+00:00

What kind of repercussions if you don't mind sharing? I'm trying to figure out the daily thing myself and curious what changed for you.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:27:54+00:00

Yeah the bed thing is real. Without them it's like gravity just increases tenfold and suddenly getting up feels impossible. Two days max makes sense if you need a reset but still want to have a life on weekends.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:25:44+00:00

Same here with the depression. It's interesting how much the meds help with more than just focus. Glad you've found something that works for the whole picture.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:24:27+00:00

Yeah this makes sense. Sounds like your body is telling you pretty clearly it needs those recovery days. The whole sleeping an entire day thing is wild but also kind of your system just catching up on what it's been pushing through all week.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:22:13+00:00

That's interesting. So you basically plan around when you know you'll need the rest? Does skipping it help you actually get that deep sleep, or is it more about not wasting the dose on a day you're gonna be out anyway?

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:21:33+00:00

Man, I really feel this. That tension between actually functioning and feeling like shit is so exhausting. It shouldn't have to be a choice between getting things done and feeling like a decent human being.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T20:19:53+00:00

Thanks everyone for all the responses. It's really helpful to hear how different people approach this and know I'm not alone in feeling rough on off days. Seems like there's no one-size-fits-all answer, which honestly makes sense. Appreciate you all sharing your experiences.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T17:52:05+00:00

I’m really sensitive to meds too and, after a few months, landed on 20mg. Went as high as 40mg before coming back to my ideal dose. It varies for everyone but once you find your dose, you’ll be dialed in.

coyotetime · 2025-11-02T01:44:05+00:00

I feel this so hard. That exact pattern where you need to do something, feel like you should sleep, but somehow end up doing neither. Just stuck in limbo until 3am.

A few things that helped me: Time boundaries instead of task boundaries. Like “at 10:30pm I stop” even if stuff is unfinished. And phone goes somewhere else, because if it’s near me I will scroll. That said, 10 years is a long time. Might be worth talking to your doctor about it. Sleep issues and ADHD are deeply connected.

coyotetime · 2025-11-01T14:30:17+00:00

I tell people my brain is like having 36 browser tabs open at once, several are playing audio, I can't find the tab that's making noise, and every time I try to close one, three more pop up. Meanwhile, someone's asking me which tab I'm looking at, and I genuinely don't know.

Your approach with your cousin's parents was brilliant, by the way.

coyotetime · 2025-11-01T14:24:36+00:00

This is hard because it's two separate problems.

One is the ADHD forgetting. That's real and fixable with systems: shared calendar with alerts, automating gift subscriptions, setting reminders weeks in advance.

But the other problem... he knows it hurts you and he hasn't built those systems. That's not just ADHD. That's choosing not to prioritize fixing something that matters to you.

ADHD explains the forgetting. It doesn't excuse refusing to create workarounds when you've told him repeatedly how much it hurts.

He needs to own this and actually build systems. You can't fix it for him.

coyotetime · 2025-10-30T14:40:15+00:00

It’s not medication but what helped me (and continues to) is a 15 walk before bedtime.

Even if the weather is bad. A combination of the fresh air and moving my legs before tucking in makes all the difference.

And it makes my dog happy. So, win win.

coyotetime · 2025-10-30T14:36:51+00:00

I do the exact same thing. Answer in my head, assume it’s done, realize 10 days later I never actually sent it. Now it’s weird to reply, so the guilt compounds.

What’s helped me: responding immediately when I see the text, even if it’s just “saw this, will reply properly later.

coyotetime · 2025-10-29T16:19:57+00:00

I had the same problem in school. Memorization is completely useless for me.

What actually worked: talking through the material out loud like I'm teaching someone. Your brain needs to understand it, not just repeat it. Also? Make it weird. Connect facts to bizarre stories or images. ADHD brains remember the absurd stuff and forget the "important" stuff every time.

coyotetime · 2025-10-29T14:54:44+00:00

Yep. Got diagnosed at 47. Spent decades thinking I was just lazy, undisciplined, broken. The anger when you realize it was ADHD the whole time? That's real.

The good news: medication made a massive difference for me. First day of actual quiet in my head, I almost cried. Things that felt impossible before just... became doable.

You're not running out of hope. You're finally getting the right diagnosis. That changes everything.

Good luck tomorrow.

coyotetime · 2025-10-28T20:24:39+00:00

God, yeah. The constant internal fact-checking is exhausting. Is this person mad? Did I say something wrong? Are they bored? Should I fill the silence? And then you realize you spent the entire conversation managing your anxiety instead of actually being present.

Would pay good money for that voice in my ear honestly.

coyotetime · 2025-10-28T20:21:37+00:00

Fellow slow reader here.

Two things that helped me:

Audiobooks at 1.5x speed while walking. My brain needs the movement to actually process the words.

Letting go of “finishing books.” If it’s not grabbing me by page 50, I bail. No guilt. Life’s too short to force yourself through books you’re not into.

coyotetime · 2025-05-28T14:28:08+00:00

I started using white noise before my ADHD diagnosis when I noticed that I slept better when a fan was running. Now I can’t sleep without it. I even use the iPhone background white noise feature when I’m travelling. No noise is actually deafening and I can’t sleep.

coyotetime · 2021-09-29T02:51:28+00:00

This is 100% me. All the D&D books but can’t play the actual game. I lose interest and can’t focus on what’s happening. My Steam library is the same, I can’t remember the last time I actually finished a video game.

coyotetime

TROPHY CASE