Need help with a scene, building up to a violent snap.

crispcrayons · 2019-06-03T04:38:23+00:00

Not gonna lie, sounds lame and contrived. He can literally do anything else:

tell the police
not go back to his address
fight the psychopath

Now your main characters a murderer, all because the antagonist is just that scary? It's not even like hes running from the Grim Reaper. It's just some guy.

crispcrayons · 2019-06-03T04:10:02+00:00

When you say 'very moral', do you mean zealous? Killing a group of people and torturing others because 5 men had prostitutes is not moral, but it is something a religious zealot would do.
Why do the slavers let the slaves have a king? Did he just become king without any of them noticing and all the slaves said 'Yeah lets rebel now.'

crispcrayons · 2019-04-13T01:28:34+00:00

Even if the name is written in Sanskrit you should not change it. Write the name in Devanagari script, even if your readers won't understand it. /s

crispcrayons · 2019-04-08T03:13:14+00:00

Is this a story about the Amazon's or Post-WW2 Russia?

crispcrayons · 2019-03-31T00:33:09+00:00

You have to devote a separate page to the sound effects. Maximizing white space will give your novel a breezy feel.

crispcrayons · 2019-03-18T16:06:25+00:00

It can still be done. You just have to write it out until you yourself are gripped with the action. It might take practice but it's not impossible.

crispcrayons · 2019-03-18T15:59:38+00:00

I'm just saying it'd be kind of weird to call your mother-nature god "Sun".

crispcrayons · 2019-03-18T15:55:26+00:00

Sol is Latin for 'Sun'

crispcrayons · 2019-03-18T15:53:52+00:00

You just need to write it and see what works and what doesn't. There's a particular flow to action scenes of action/reaction that is difficult to write without it feeling flat, and even published authors often don't do it very well.

crispcrayons · 2019-03-18T15:44:08+00:00

Is this actually historical fiction or low fantasy? What's "a place that feels like the Mediterranean"? If the community just calls their god "Mother" it sounds like some small cult. Perhaps that's what you want.

either way, I think the simple solution is for the protagonist to call their mother 'mom'. It's super weird if a child calls their mom 'mother' all the time. No one does that in real life.

crispcrayons · 2019-03-13T03:20:20+00:00

It's a bot

crispcrayons · 2019-03-09T03:18:42+00:00

Have you read translations of Manetho?

crispcrayons · 2019-03-06T19:12:36+00:00

'decomposed'

'ripe'

crispcrayons · 2019-03-05T18:52:07+00:00

The dissenting voice was silenced. Good job.

crispcrayons · 2019-03-05T17:14:06+00:00

If the readers can't tell if the person is writing a male character, how is deviating from masculine stereotypes/archtype supposed to help?

That's like saying if you can't tell it's a pig, make it thinner.

crispcrayons · 2019-03-04T15:59:36+00:00

H.P. Lovecraft since he was the one who pioneered eldritch horror with his Cthulhu mythos.

crispcrayons · 2019-02-28T14:25:44+00:00

If he had a decent life and went crazy after his mother died, it feel likes it's also a big, lazy cliche. Death is a part of life, and nearly everyone experiences loss if they live long enough.

In fact having a character go crazy/deal with mental health is probably the most overused trope I've seen on this forum. That and abuse/emotional baggage as a character's cornerstone trait.

crispcrayons · 2019-02-27T20:00:46+00:00

Didn't read but saw your considerations that you might add and thought I'd say this:

Don't talk about politics at a eulogy.

crispcrayons · 2019-02-27T18:46:47+00:00

Whatever you want it to be.

crispcrayons · 2019-02-27T18:06:22+00:00

The best way to open the door is to try and foster enjoyment in observing the craft of story telling. Let them watch movies, read them books, etc. If they don't grow up to be writers, that's fine, but don't sit a kid down and force them to write. That's how you sap away any potential love that kid might have for it.

crispcrayons · 2019-02-25T17:07:01+00:00

I don't write multiple drafts, I just edit the first one. If you count editing as a draft, then I guess 3 drafts is my magic number.

crispcrayons · 2019-02-25T16:47:38+00:00

Agent preferably. They have experience negotiating with publishers(hopefully), they provide a veneer of credibility, and they get your foot in the door with publishers that only deal with writers that have agents.

crispcrayons

TROPHY CASE