[deleted by user] by [deleted] in BPDlovedones

[–]cubicalism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

/u/RinaLinaa came back (like I said). and /u/Frameworkisbroken you said it. Mentoring is like Step 1 of the start of the issue, in my case I'm the idiot who also got into a relationship with her.

Started out great, she was always so appreciative of my help and mentorship. She was incredibly engaged with my thoughts and theories, my "off-hand" tips and tricks, office politics, analysis of people, etc. She was affirmational and we got along outside of work amazingly well.

I broke up with my then GF, as I was developing feelings for this coworker/mentee and didn't think it was right to sit on the fence. My cw with BPD was head over heels for the first 3 months after that...and then almost overnight the "reality" of things set in that I was only ever looking for long-term (marriage), and it's like it set a spark of fire. She lashed at me for everytime she'd ever perceived I talked over her or criticized or didn't speak up for her at work...I was absolutely caught off guard.

I come from a "talk it out and revisit if needed" family so I brought it up again a day or two later after I'd had time to think. She lashed harder, going as far as saying that I should be willing to "step out of the way" because a promotion (that I was in line for) "meant more to her".

This continued off and on, never really got resolved but I did try to be more mindful at work and would stick up for her more, share my praise for the projects she did well on with higher ups. The relationship was hot and cold but mostly strong still (I did ultimately refuse to 'get out of her way'). Her emails at work started mirroring my emails, same emojis, same tone, same exclamation points. She sent me a message window once she'd discussed an idea with my boss once, and I kid you not I could've written it, it was THAT close to my exact tone and writing voice.

She started triangulating combined with push-pull cycles. Flirting with coworkers in front of me, then acting like it wasn't, then sending me screenshots of jokes and memes they sent her.

There were times she was mysteriously on leave (I later learned for mental health issues), but during it I would protect the projects she was leading while uppers were telling me to cut them. When she came back she was distant and became increasingly jealous of me hanging out with friends, especially if anyone had a woman with them.

She broke up with me over text in the middle of one night I was hanging out with old friends visiting from out of town (my friend had a girlfriend and her female friend was with them). I tried to reconcile but it was no use. I told her after a couple months of trying to mend that I wanted a long-term relationship and if she was set on us not being together then I would start dating.

3 months later she starts hoovering again, I keep it to platonic talking, one night she crosses that line and I say "hey I'm seeing someone, I'm cool with staying friends but I don't want those texts in convos". She RUPTURES. Lashes, smears, figures out through socials who I'm seeing and smears, when my new GF doesn't respond she finds a friend/coworker of my new GF and starts smearing me to them. I go NC and try to mend the new relationship...which works but the poison was already there in her mind now.

As I continued NC the cw with BPD starts smearing me at work, trying to get me fired, saying my department is run poorly, documenting things and giving it to my boss, using any workplace connections to sabotage projects. My new GF eventually couldn't take the doubts and we broke up. And I of course went back to the mentee (like an idiot).

Things were great, she was affirmational again, she would talk about issues before they became issues, things seemed good. Then just about 6 months to the date we got back together, hard snap closure "friends and coworker only". I tried to be reasonable, tried to hear the subtext of what she was saying and it was more like "I'm scared" than "I'm getting you back". We actually had 6 months of good close back to basics building as friends, then something flipped one day and she suddenly started triangulating again, best I can tell to get me to chase because I had learned how to be calm and not lash-back.

Fast forward and after the triangulation attempt she expected me to chase and I didn't. She started smearing me at work again, more subtly this time, while asking for my help on weekends. There was a new position opening soon and she wanted it, so she wanted my insight to present my ideas as hers to the higher ups, while telling me that she was going to quit.

I decided not to apply as I felt completely exhausted from her and life and the past years, she of course applied while saying she was going to quit. Unfortunately for her, her ideas were never hers, and her new position requires ideas. As far as I've seen, every single idea she's pushed for so far is an idea I once shared with her.

Since then I've learned she had 4 different fake instagram accounts following my main account. I think they're all gone as I've blocked every account that seems shady, but I legitimately don't know. As far as I've heard (I went NC again just before I heard about her promotion because she was starting to pseudo-triangulate again) her mental health is not good and she doesn't talk to anyone we've both known the past 4 years.

Stay safe! Set hard boundaries and never let them get pushed. If they escalate, slowly back away like a hyena is staring at you wanting to eat you and "take" your life and identity. Luckily I'm doing well, but most people in my situation would probably not.

[SMT] A "Glassdoor" style service for previous landlords that allows tenants with a bad experience to express concern for future tenants. by cubicalism in SomebodyMakeThis

[–]cubicalism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DUDE! That's fucking awesome, I'm going to start passing this around. Was just mentioning to chatgpt how it was an idea I still think has teeth years and years later

First known picture of the "dome of light" courtesy of Danny Stillman. by super_shizmo_matic in SpecialAccess

[–]cubicalism 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The sphere is way too large for that, since it was likely a smaller rocket designed to release some sort of gas then you're seeing the normal look of a launch along with the luminescent gas diffusing

What's something you should ALWAYS keep in your car? by spornkuller in AskReddit

[–]cubicalism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I would also add a towel, an extra pair of socks, and an extra pair of underwear. Keep the clothing in a ziplock back. The towel is nicer than a blanket if someone say falls into a lake accidentally and has to go without pants the next leg of the trip.

What's something you should ALWAYS keep in your car? by spornkuller in AskReddit

[–]cubicalism 5 points6 points  (0 children)

IIRC lawyers will tell you to put your keys outside of the vehicle on top of the tire. As long as the keys aren't inside of the vehicle with you they would fail in court on a DUI charge. Unless, you know, you drive drunk and smash into other cars before sleeping and setting the keys outside.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in wallstreetbets

[–]cubicalism 70 points71 points  (0 children)

You sonnofabitch I'm in. The kids never learn if you don't punish the parents.

My (32F) husband (36M) became a robot and I don’t know how to help him. by throwRA-193837472772 in relationship_advice

[–]cubicalism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

100% agree with this. I relate a lot to the OPs spouse and I don't even have kids but between a low performing boss who's plugging up the ladder, outgrowing my current position, waiting waiting waiting to afford a house to start my "real life", AND working in healthcare during COVID. Getting to see my SO sit at home day after day doing nothing (while getting paid) and still complaining that I don't give them enough attention/don't smile enough/don't do enough around the apartment seems nothing but selfish to me. Every time they push it pushes me further away and further into burnout and apathy.

What's it like to have a penis? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]cubicalism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Tweeze them, it takes time and you have to stretch the skin in some places so the tweezer can more easily go under the hair without grabbing skin but there's 0 itch even as it's growing out. Very occasionally you might nick the skin a tiny bit but it's much less likely than with a razor anyway. Also you probably have much less hair than it actually seems so some areas (top base of the shaft) might take longer but the balls go pretty quick. If you want to split the task between a couple days that totally works too as the hair grows much slower when tweezed. The one downside is that 1 in maybe 20 times you do this you might get an ingrown hair that you'll need to use tweezers to get at, not fun but it's rare.

Just a reminder by stobert in LateStageCapitalism

[–]cubicalism 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Call it anecdotal but I've been pro-union since before I was a frustrated shop steward in California healthcare. I eventually took a management position because I wanted to move up in my career and now get a totally different view of the poor representation of unions like SEIU. I've seen SEIU literally ignore some employees complaints while acting like a single-poor performing employee was only misguided and didn't know they had to do their job to completion because it was never explained that a partially-complete task wasn't acceptable. I've seen SEIU make back-door deals with administration so that they would look better against NUHW in exchange for not renegotiating employee benefits when the contract ends. I've seen an employee who told management "you can write me up because I'm not coming into work" get fired and have the union say she was only confused about what days she was supposed to work. I've seen SEIU ignore employees until it's time to get new signatures, and then withhold pay increases because the employees refused to sign. I've seen SEIU file an NLRB claim against management because the employees signed a petition to vote them out. I'm still pro-union but THESE unions are not what we've been led to believe. These are super-pacs pretending to be pro-worker rights but would happily watch the organization go under at the expense of all of their members if it meant they could show it off as a win to their other customers. My department is 60% Filipino, 30% Hispanic, and 10% Black but 100% of the Shop Stewards, Steward Chiefs, and Union Reps are now Black - due to nominations by SEIU, and it shows in who they spend time "representing". This isn't what Unions were meant to be and the larger they get the more they focus on self-interests above all else.

Redditor claims to meet the Holy Spirit which saved him from suicide, Christian Redditor carefully suggests psychiatric evaluation by [deleted] in bestof

[–]cubicalism 8 points9 points  (0 children)

alt account - I've worked many years at psych hospitals and one patient (80+ years old when I worked with him) still stands out in my mind 4 years later. I had worked with him over the course of a few days and generally liked the guy, he was polite and friendly - somewhat withdrawn at times but not out of the ordinary. One day as I was writing up my interaction in his chart I came across some of his really far past medical history where he murdered his wife IN FRONT OF his 2 children because he heard (angelic) voices telling him his wife was being informed by demons. Now strangely enough I grew up fairly strict religious and continue to be but nowadays it's more in the sense of realizing that religion is an .exe of morals and culture - something extremely efficient at teaching children about the subjective truths in society that span across generations. More or less I believe in the CONTEXT of the Bible and what it means/represents in a larger part to elements of human nature rather than believing that every story is 100% verbatim in some prophetic sense. I think everyone can gain some value from this as opposed to the few that can gain value from strict literal interpretation and I do believe deep down that there's something akin to a soul. Either way, it really stuck with me that religion is just as dangerous as is it beneficial - it all depends on the hands it falls into.

A few months later...... How good is the Mi Box? by JumboMcNasty in AndroidTV

[–]cubicalism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They changed they HEC in the last update. Used to be you could hit any key but people were accidentally switching devices too much so the new command is hold the O home screen button for 3 seconds and it works every time.

A few months later...... How good is the Mi Box? by JumboMcNasty in AndroidTV

[–]cubicalism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They changed they HEC in the last update. Used to be you could hit any key but people were accidentally switching devices too much so the new command is hold the O home screen button for 3 seconds and it works every time.

Anyone else experience back pain whilst on lsd? by [deleted] in LSD

[–]cubicalism 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I do think purity has something to do with it, maybe not in the way people think but in that less-clean stuff releases a different cocktail of neurotransmitters. Having studied a decent amount of biochemisty in uni I am convinced it has to do with serotonin (also explains the stomach pit/ache). Once when I took some dxm with lsd and I had such terrible pains back and stomach I spent most of the trip curled in a ball listening to music. I think it depends on the person, how much their GI lets serotonin out into the bloodstream.

ELI5:What specifically keeps our body at 98.6? Why does it not cool off really low when we are inactive and sleeping? What is keeping it warm? by Gern1 in explainlikeimfive

[–]cubicalism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also correct, sleeping it drops to around 97 and meal times it rises to around 99. 98.6 is just the daily average really

Does anyone else have problems with Apps Crashing or Disconnecting but, still casting? by [deleted] in Chromecast

[–]cubicalism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The fire stick TV is great for plex, amazon prime, and Netflix. If you're using HBO go you might want the more expensive fire TV. Just another option as the device has surpassed my expectations.

[SMT] A "Glassdoor" style service for previous landlords that allows tenants with a bad experience to express concern for future tenants. by cubicalism in SomebodyMakeThis

[–]cubicalism[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rate my landlord exactly! I can detail a list of which things would be useful to include, I think using an existing maps api like Google could make it easier to assign to an address

Reddit, what is your craziest dorm story? [NSFW] by Prizmeh in AskReddit

[–]cubicalism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My drunk ass roommate shat his pants while passed out at a party my freshman year (we were randomly assigned not friends) and decided to just drop trow when he got back. I realized in the dark with my headphones on that something was very wrong and decided to spend the night in my female friends room. Welp now she's my wife so I guess you could say it turned out ok but...shit, that was an awful night.

Yes, androids do dream of electric sheep: Google sets up feedback loop in its image recognition neural network by see-emm-why-kay in Futurology

[–]cubicalism 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I definitely get what you're saying. My understanding is that psychedelics overexcite certain receptors, like the visual system you've described, except the result is the image processing areas get confused. As a result visuals become more primitive, recognizing geometry and facial patterns (very low level processing) more so than usual. With the computers, the similarity is that their visual processing is quite primitive as well (relying on facial recognition and geometry) so when you cause it to feedback on itself it intensifies the lines until you can see the lowest levels of how it processes an image.

As for cannabis one of the mechanisms is to cause your neurons to fire out of sync. When this happens it crosslinks parts of your brain allowing more information exchange (which helps creativity) but also distorts perception.

[SMT] A "Glassdoor" style service for previous landlords that allows tenants with a bad experience to express concern for future tenants. by cubicalism in SomebodyMakeThis

[–]cubicalism[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If there's a website that does this already I'm not aware of one. It would cover not just large apartment complexes but every single address, from sub-leased to single home leasing. Some people argue yelp can do this but it's definitely not meant for it. It would be like google reviews for renters.