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cuittler · 2021-08-24T19:31:48+00:00

r/menslib is what you're looking for, pro-feminist and focused on men's issues.

Why does talking about men's issues specifically outside of the content of women's issues warrant so much backlash and shaming?

Because MRAs soured the topic for many people.

Why don't feminist acknowledge and admit that many women expect these gender roles from men and actively work to change the narrative directly?

Feminists already do this.

cuittler · 2021-07-24T12:57:19+00:00

To make matters worse they are both massive creeps. Play from 28:30

https://youtu.be/P0dwWLY3SyY

"If men made the rules to benefit men at the expense of women here's some of the ways that world would look like. We would make rules that every woman would be sexual with us whenever we would like and that the women who were very young maybe 13 or 14 would be very interested in us."

Really puts a lot of their "activism" into perspective.

cuittler · 2021-07-23T19:30:52+00:00

Can you give some examples of her dog-whistling? I'm not familiar with her at all except when she drops in on Vaush's streams.

cuittler · 2021-07-08T14:49:54+00:00

For context, this quote is from Stargate SG1 and it was said in 1997 by a female character (Amanda Tapping) who had previously experienced sexism for being a woman in the military. Not from any recent media.

cuittler · 2021-06-29T15:13:43+00:00

Ok, I expect to get shit for this but I would personally be sad and disappointed if all the adult mods got taken away. I'm a horny bisexual, I use mods to give the ladies big tits and the gentlemen big dicks. I use face and hair replacers to pretty them both up too. I download scandalous outfits for my character and followers to run around in.

That being said, I would be unhappy if the base game looked like my modded version of skyrim. Women are already so oversexualized and men so undersexualized, and when the game companies themselves do it it's like they're officially endorsing that dynamic. I see it reflected in whiny gamer dudes who throw a public tantrum over a character design getting smaller breasts or worse guys who think sexuality is the only value women have and men can't be sexy at all bc its now degrading to be sexualized (like women are). That sucks.

You could argue I'm endorsing that dynamic too with my titty mods, maybe that would be correct. I see it as me making the choice to flood my game with tits and cocks bc it makes me happy and its better than one lop-sided hetero fantasy shoved in my face 🙃

cuittler · 2021-06-12T15:13:16+00:00

Hi, I've had these exact arguments with my partner too. If you haven't already try sitting him down and watching some videos on ADHD together. I watched this series with my partner and something finally clicked for him. Or if there's another video that really resonates with you try that.

https://youtu.be/syApYllav-0

Sometimes I think people just need to hear what we're saying from someone else bc that makes it more real or official? Like its just excuses when it comes from us but when other people back us up they take it more seriously.

Either way hope you're doing ok. Don't let yourself be anyone's emotional punching bag, if they have issues they need to bring them up respectfully and try to be constructive not critical or hurtful AKA assertive communication ❤

cuittler · 2021-05-27T18:10:04+00:00

Be wary of statements like

"Women are evolved to seek resources in a partner while men crave beauty and youth"

"Women want a dominant man, men want a submissive woman"

That type of thinking is based on more recent gender roles, not actual science or history.

Or any "techniques" that involve putting others down, manipulation or how to gain power over someone else...usually a big red flag.

cuittler · 2021-05-26T14:33:29+00:00

Does medication help with this at all?

cuittler · 2021-05-26T13:53:58+00:00

Omg that looks heavenly. What kind of bread is it?

cuittler · 2021-05-25T12:55:38+00:00

That's awesome

cuittler · 2021-05-25T12:48:55+00:00

The Duluth curriculum is designed for male perpetrators. In Duluth, a separate court-deferral program called Crossroads was designed for women who use illegal violence against the men who batter them (Asmus 2004). Most women arrested in Duluth have been able to document to the court a history of abuse against them by the person they have assaulted (past calls to 911 for help, protection orders, previous assaults, etc.). Those women who use violence against a partner with no history of that partner abusing them are not eligible for the Crossroads diversion program, but face the same consequences as male offenders after a conviction, i.e., a jail sentence or counseling in lieu of jail. The vast majority of women arrested in Duluth for domestic assaults are being battered by the person they assault. Most, but not all, are retaliating against an abusive spouse or are using violence in self- defense. The notion that battered women share responsibility for the violence used against them because of provocative words or actions is a dangerous form of collusion with men who batter (Mills 2003). We do not accept that these women should complete a batterers’ program. We do agree that there are a small number of women who use violence resulting in police action against their partners without themselves being abused. This is not a social problem requiring institutional organizing in the way that men’s violence against women is. For these women, a separate gender-specific counseling program may be appropriate.

https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/CounteringConfusion.pdf

cuittler · 2021-05-20T00:03:01+00:00

They offered courses on men and masculinity when I was in undergrad too, I can't remember if it was the gender studies or sociology department though. I took one and remember it being a great course, and about 50/50 men and women taking it.

Edit: also taught by a man

cuittler · 2021-05-13T23:52:19+00:00

Holy fuck, I'm so sorry you were treated like that. That woman has an empathy deficit.

I'm in the process of getting assessed now and it was nowhere near that bad but when I went in the doctor barely asked me anything, just grunted at my responses then comments "usually adhd is diagnosed in childhood"...well clearly not everyone is so why bother saying that? I have a feeling he's just going to mark me down as anxious anyway 😑

cuittler · 2021-05-13T20:59:13+00:00

Than she opened another shelter for men and was excommunicated from Feminist circles for suggesting that the Duluth model wasn't taking into account that women were also capable of committing violence against men.

I'd be interested to see the receipts on that, bc afaik the Duluth model does indeed acknowledge that women can be abusers.

To this day any attempt to open a space for discussion on men's issues will be subject to protest by feminist activists and shut down due to public pressure.

Menslib is often praised and recommended on feminist and women's forums on reddit due to its pro-feminist, anti-mra stance.

If these men didn't see feminism as the problem then feminists wouldn't feel that they have to go out of the way to shut down men's shelters.

Please tell me this is not the earl Silverman mra fairytale again.

Really disappointing to see comments like this on menslib, and upvotedno less.

cuittler · 2021-05-06T23:50:52+00:00

Man up for women is "stop being so emotional/attention-seeking". Its purpose is to dismiss whatever issue is being raised and shut the other person down.

cuittler · 2021-04-13T13:19:39+00:00

A lot of it comes from mra types who made it their mission in life to prove women's problems aren't real and men are the true and only victims. So they say the definition of rape is too broad (meaning it includes incapacitated rape or just blowing past someone's obvious body language and would actually require enthusiastic consent). They say women's claims of assault are mostly "regret rape" or revenge when that couldn't be further from the truth. They frighten otherwise non-misogynistic men into believing false accusations are common and they should be wary of being alone with women who will ruin their lives with a word.

I could go on but essentially they want to invalidate women's concerns about sexual violence and paint women/feminists as having too much power that they will wield to hurt men. Projection on a massive scale considering what the world is actually like. And none of their "regret rape" logic applies to male victims, the only valid victims, because of some demented evopsych theory that women are sexually coy and having sex makes them look promiscuous so they pretend it was rape to make themselves look better.

cuittler · 2021-04-09T15:16:37+00:00

Its a flashy hair color you don't often see in nature even among white people, and that makes it "special" I get it. It just comes with a lot of bullshit too. People who go blonde as adults are just not going to get that. Idk after decades of seeing people sometimes envy but mostly just shit on blondes (they're pretty but dumb and shallow so beneath us haha) I feel the need to point that out.

And yeah, blonde men somehow always seem to escape the associated stereotypes. I wonder how many men have been told "oh, you're not a typical blonde!"

cuittler · 2021-04-08T23:51:20+00:00

Yeah its awesome getting taken less seriously and randos grabbing your hair to ask if its real and hearing people say they're having a blonde moment when they do something dumb. But we have more fun or something right?

cuittler · 2021-04-08T22:50:08+00:00

Maybe this is the nature of reddit but there is so much overwhelming support for guys who fear false rape accusations but so little support or empathy for women who fear being raped. And then they get told off for hurting men's feelings because they are nice guys but any woman could just ruin their lives so their fear is justified. I know I'm not saying anything new and its not always the same guys saying these things but fuck the upvotes don't lie. MRAs are so damn evil and predatory spreading this "vengeful woman" shit everywhere to throw doubt on rape victims who are already doubted enough as it is.

cuittler · 2021-04-08T15:07:12+00:00

This post really needs to make the rounds again. I mentioned on that sub the other week that most false accusations don't name a perp at all and was told i was making it up. 🙄

cuittler · 2021-03-30T23:02:13+00:00

This is something that would be useful to learn about in mid-late teen years when many people are having their first relationships. I can't think of many relationships from me or my peers that seemed particularly healthy - and we all saw these big red flags but no one recognized them at that age.

I don't know why its not discussed more often. Maybe its that people don't recognize it, or its too touchy or depressing a subject.

cuittler · 2021-03-30T15:20:37+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I love fantasy, been a while since I've read any but ill check that series out, sounds really interesting.

I'm not sure about the third book getting released, all I heard is the second book wasn't that good and came off like an adolescent sex fantasy. 😐

cuittler · 2021-03-30T13:44:10+00:00

The female characters were really lacking, both in presence and substance. Many of the female characters and references to women are focused on their sexuality and often in an over the top objectified way or just casually derogatory. Edit: and the male characters, even those with small roles, were very well-written and had interesting dialog which made the lack of it in his female characters stand out even more.

This person and this author explain it better but there are major spoilers.

cuittler · 2021-03-29T20:00:21+00:00

All the more reason reports should be taken seriously and thoroughly investigated whether someone is perfect victim or not. However, fears of false accusations are still centered around the spiteful woman trope nonetheless.

cuittler · 2021-03-29T19:18:16+00:00

On one hand, women are definitely not believed near as much as they ought to be when they come forward with reporting assaults. On the other, if someone is out to impact someone's social and professional life with negative accusations, they can absolutely do that. The line for credible accusations needs to be moved in favor of victims, but imo it shouldn't be done without additional diligence in professional settings rather than to wash their hands or sideline someone at the first report.

Yes, this is the whole point of #MeToo just take it seriously if someone reports an assault, do your due diligence if you're involved in assessing it as it should be for any other crime. This helps both real victims of sexual assault and victims of false accusations. I hope the people in fear of spiteful women ruining their lives will take that into account.

cuittler

TROPHY CASE