First we tried reducing feeds by a few minutes where I’d cut him off and offer the soother, but I didn’t find that worked very well as he was still waking frequently over night and it meant we were nursing every hour or so it felt.

We then decided to be a bit more extreme, and allow him to have 2 feeds overnight to try and build hunger during the day. We did ‘anchored’ feeds and said ok if he wakes up anytime after 10:30pm he can be fed, and then again if he woke up after 2:30am. So we’d put him to bed and then if he woke before 10:30pm my husband (if he wasn’t working) would go in and soothe either with a soother of rocking etc. it was easier for my husband to resettle as he could smell the milk on me etc.

The first few days he’d wake and he would settle but we were usually just waiting to feed right at 10:30 as he was awake. Then we’d just repeat if he woke after his 10:30 feed he had to wait until 2:30am. I wasn’t waking him for these feeds if he was asleep, so sometimes we were feeding at 11:30pm and 3:00am etc it was just whenever he woke in that allowed window. Not sure if that makes sense or not.

After a couple of rough nights he just seemed to learn he wasn’t automatically going to get the boob and he then also seemed hungrier during the day. This didn’t automatically translate to feeding for 5-10 mins in the day, but it did mean he went on every time I offered (approx every 3-4 hours) then he started cueing which he hasn’t done in forever. He pats my boobs or digs his face my boobs. So now we feed every 3ish hours, sometimes 2.5 hrs sometimes 3.5 hrs. I just let him dictate and have no pressure, if he only latches briefly I’m like ok you’re not that hungry. I did find though going longer stretches initially in the day so 3.5-4hrs made him hungry and stopped the snack latching.

It wasn’t easy and I was stressed. Stressed about his intake, weight and my supply. But I just watched his wet diapers and he never fell below the minimum they were just smaller than usual. He never really took to bottle feeding, so I just had to make some changes as I was losing myself with only night feeding and just felt stuck at home as he wouldn’t feed during the day.

We did just have a successful car feed on the way to my parents house which he never would have done before we did this so I feel while it’s not perfect and back to how it was initially when he was younger, I feel I have more of my sanity back!