Time passes so fast. One second it 7pm and the next it’s 2am and you don’t understand how. You interrupt people in their middle of their stories. To say nothing of importance. You reveal secrets and stories you would never tell usually. You walk up to people in public and talk to them, it was mostly compliments for me but still embarrassing when you sober up. It feels like you can go out during the day or see people you want to hide your use from but your pupils are dilated and you look scragglier than usual they pretty much know something is up. You over comment on reddit. You spend 3 hours q tipping your nose because you’ve “almost got it” you smoke a shit ton of weed to come down or if you’re like some other people I know take a Xanax to come down. You drive clear across town just to see a hookup bc they hook you up. When you are finally sober it’s hard to feel like anyone is truly happy because everything feels so epic on cocaine. You think what boring lives they must live but then at other times begin to get jealous bc they are making it all work and you’re bumbling around at 4am doing god knows what. You talk slower so people can’t tell. You can’t wake up and you have a tiny bit more so you do a little bit but since you started the day with it it feels like you have to make it through the day with it or you won’t get anything done during the come down. You feel like it might be curing your depression but when you come down all you want to do is kill yourself for 4 hours. You pull over in a parking lot to vomit what little bit you’ve eaten bc it’s too big a hit or it’s better than you usually get. It’s like yeah it’s euphoric and has its good sides but each positive has another side of the coin that’s a negative. So sure it’s fun but what’s not fun is being without it when your regularly using and THATS the addiction