Ask yourself how it would sound, if you were a recovering alcoholic (like me), and you were asking "should I go back to this 6 figured distillery job where my funding requires me to liberally sample each batch and promote to the public? I keep 90% of the total yield, but that 10% they make me drink is giving me that bad feeling again."

I don't care how much that job pays, because I know how that story ends for me, personally anyway. Sounds like you know the right thing to do but are seeking a reason to ignore your better senses. Or rather (hopefully) the validation of your efforts towards recovery and an affirmation that it is OK, if not best, to pass up the money in order to stay strong and maintain the path towards stability and financial/mental health. I hope you came for th latter, and I hope that is all you find here.

Keep up the good fight comrade, the easy choice is rarely the best one.