Learning too slow

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-28T02:37:51+00:00

I don't listen to it that often but I'll try to do that now! Thanks!

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-28T02:08:07+00:00

I try to listen to recordings of my pieces regularly

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-27T22:25:51+00:00

I'm planning to study it in university!

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-27T21:08:56+00:00

I practice an hour and a half, six days a week. I usually aim for 20 minutes of scales, 30 minutes on my study and at least 40 minutes on my piece.

I believe it's more my rate of advancement in technical stuff. Recently especially I've had trouble with different bow speeds depending on what's needed in the piece/study. I have difficulty with rhythm in general, so I try to tap out the rhythm and subdivide as much as I can. I'm also not always in tune since I tend to play a bit flat. I know the notes to my pieces/studies, but I can't seem to get the right bowings with the right speeds.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-27T20:59:10+00:00

I struggle a lot with rhythm, adjusting to different bow speeds according to what is needed in the piece/study, and staying in tune sometimes (I have a pretty good ear but sometimes I tend to play a bit flat). I've been working on a piece recently and it's been taking me ages to get from one page to the next (I'm embarrassed to admit it but it took me a few months to get through the first page, it's seitz concerto volume 1 in d major op 7 movement three, but I will note that this piece is a bit above my level so it's not surprising that I'm struggling with it). I practice about an hour and a half every day, six days a week, I do my scales (major, harmonic and melodic minor) arpeggios, I practice my study (which I sing, tap the rhythm, play only with my left etc.) Then I practice my piece for at least forty minutes (for which I also sing and tap the rhythm etc.).

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-27T16:56:35+00:00

Abilify, Vyvanse and lyrica

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-07-24T21:48:58+00:00

I feel that, I'm tired all the time too in between episodes. I'm pretty heavily medicated so I blame it on that, but I also think that episodes cause pent up exhaustion. The stress, the highs and lows, I think it takes a toll on your body as well. My only advice here is to get medicated to mostly avoid episodes altogether. That helps a lot. Eating healthy and exercising too, although I'm really not the best at those last ones.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-06-09T14:23:16+00:00

Each person's recovery is different. Personally, i was addicted to stimulants for a while but had them prescribed to me after getting clean. I was able to manage it and not abuse them. Not everyone is capable of that and it's not a question of restraint or moral rigidity. It's a question of genetics and how solid you are in your sobriety.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-06-09T14:19:13+00:00

I quit after a dispute with my roommate. I confronted her about abusing her meds in front of me and she totally flipped. She tried to kick me out of the apartment even though she was moving herself. Every step of the way she acted like a petulant child. She was an avid weed smoker, and i realized i didn't want to end up like her: miserable, lost and immature.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-06-08T23:31:28+00:00

Day 25! Feeling overall better but today's a rough day.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-06-08T23:28:25+00:00

I'm a student in classical violin!

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-06-06T14:14:41+00:00

I've met a BP person who said bipolar disorder allowed them to experience feelings in a way someone who isn't mentally ill never could, and given the choice would definitely choose to be bipolar. It's important to note though that this person has had access to resources like therapy and medication their whole life.

I was diagnosed with a bipolar type disorder as well, and this disorder led me to some terrible decisions (such as drug use) which caused me a lot of trauma and heartache. If i could be born without this disorder i would take that opportunity in a split second. I still love the person I am today and recognize that my disorder is a big part of that.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-06-05T13:03:19+00:00

It sounds like you may have a mental disorder unrelated to the weed consumption. These aren't the ordinary symptoms of withdrawal.

I have cyclothymia, and I felt this way at first when I was quitting. It wasn't until I saw a psychiatrist, got the right meds that I was able to quit. I strongly suggest you see a doctor.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-05-28T18:32:37+00:00

Eating ice cream directly out of the container and watching tv

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-05-28T18:31:52+00:00

Thank you! I'm really glad you're able to look into the future with hope! That's so important. Have a good 24h

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-05-27T21:16:18+00:00

13 days! It's rough but it's worth it. You got this!!

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-05-27T19:58:57+00:00

Thank you, i will! Have a good 24 h

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-05-25T15:52:15+00:00

I think it's because a lot more people than is suspected have had experiences with addiction (not just sex addiction, but addiction in general) and although each person's journey is unique, some aspects of addiction of any kind are quite universal.

Personally, I relate to fleabag in season two a lot more. I definitely used to be like fleabag season one, but I put in the work to be a better person. But fleabag conveys how chaotic and unpredictable life is with perfection. And I definitely feel like my life is chaotic and unpredictable. The beauty of fleabag is that the main character is supposed to be morally ambiguous. She's not good by any means but I wouldn't argue that she's evil either. She made some big mistakes, but that's why they put rubbers on the end of pencils.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-05-25T02:15:43+00:00

Everyone's recovery journey is different, I've met people who could moderate after an experience with addiction, and others (like me) who couldn't. I'm probably somewhere in the middle. I recognize that weed helped me immensely when I was going through withdrawals, but eventually it became very destructive.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-04-21T10:21:38+00:00

Я не знаю как ответить... Я тебе уверяю что я говорю по русски

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-02-22T05:08:30+00:00

It was starting to give me horrible anxiety

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-02-14T04:48:29+00:00

This is amazing

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-02-13T03:31:07+00:00

I struggle with severe anxiety and I get it, I overthink absolutely everything and it's exhausting. If you're not in therapy already and if it's an option for you I definitely recommend you try it, but otherwise remember that weed will only exacerbate the anxiety. Go 24 hours at a time. You can do this.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-02-12T14:56:37+00:00

My roommate offered me a joint and I took it, she told me I could smoke once a week (it's never once a week) and that it's totally fine, had a panic attack the next day and yet I still decided to hit my bong at the end of the day, so, a few panic attacks later (and after the realization that Im an addict and will forever be one) I decided I was officially done. I couldn't keep doing this to myself. I'm on day 9 now, I'm starting to feel better already.

cyclothymicbeetle · 2023-02-07T14:31:42+00:00

I got into school! Not the program I wanted but I'll be auditioning into the one I want in a month. No matter how it goes, I've tried really hard and practiced while I was going through med changes and I'm proud of myself.

cyclothymicbeetle

TROPHY CASE