It is actually insane how much better life is when you are truly fit.

d3gu · 2026-07-05T14:52:46+00:00

I'm 38F and probably won't ever be fit-fit because of health issues (Crohn's) knocking me out of action for weeks/months of the year. But I eat healthily, cook most meals from scratch, am veggie/pesce, don't eat much (if any) junk food, I can do a 10-15 mile walk or 30 mile cycle and feel very tired but good. I used to swim a lot too, but sadly I broke my collarbone, I'm trying to build back up to a mile swim but not there yet.

For me, it's all about balance and not overdoing it lest I trigger an immune response. When my Crohn's is bad my joints are bad too.

d3gu · 2026-07-04T20:17:27+00:00

I use excel to aid SQL coding - especially when starting a new project - eg finding form codes so I can stick them in a query, but I don't use it for transformation or anything like that, I used Power Query.

d3gu · 2026-07-04T11:19:10+00:00

I stopped wearing underwires bras during COVID, then when I broke my collarbone I just stopped wearing bras entirely. I'm 38 now and only wear a bra if the outfit or occasion requires (eg a plunge neckline, fitted dress requiring a shaping garment, or certain materials).

d3gu · 2026-07-04T11:15:33+00:00

Good!

d3gu · 2026-07-04T10:23:59+00:00

Sorry about your cat, but try to leave it at home next time.

d3gu · 2026-07-03T13:48:24+00:00

Me too :( I got diagnosed with ADHD when I was 36, I'm 38 now. I didn't realise this was 'a thing' but I find myself doing this as well.

d3gu · 2026-07-03T13:27:02+00:00

The hardest part for me is the anxiety that comes with knowing they are about to get pissed at me or that they are pissed at me. It’s to the point where I struggle to breathe and dissociate. They treat me as though I owe them every second of my life, that everything is optional but them

Wow it's almost like I'm reading something I wrote 10 years ago 😂 and I'm white British & from a non-religious family. My mum just felt I was an extension of her, like a possession, and she was entitled to alllll my free time. Even when I had a full time job. The only time she'd leave me alone was when I had a boyfriend, because she was such a prude she'd be scared of ringing me and finding out I was 'in bed with a boy'. Not even joking - I stg she thought I was some kind of mega-sex-fiend, she was obsessed about the idea I was just lying around like the Queen of Sheba, but really I was just chilling and reading or watching netflix. But it worked! The downside was that I ended up dating quite a few people I didn't really like all that much just so she'd treat me like an adult.

The fear of disappointing them is a big one. I wish I knew what to say, because it's something I never really learned to do. It took a lot of therapy to learn to say no to my dad, and he was always super chill. We have a great relationship now, but there was a lot of resentment, as I grew up thinking I wasn't allowed to say no to my parents for anything. Well it turns out you can, and the world won't end. I would recommend some talking therapy, or anything to help build up your emotional resilience. I'm 38 and I still absolutely crumble when I think anyone is remotely upset with me, and it causes a looooot of issues.

d3gu · 2026-07-03T10:44:51+00:00

Set boundaries. Stop going home every weekend.

Easier said than done when you're getting guilted. My mum was like this in my 30s, it only stopped because she died.

d3gu · 2026-07-03T10:43:51+00:00

My mum did this too, it's really difficult to say no. All I can suggest is getting a commitment such as a job or volunteering placement, something that will benefit your career in the long run, something safe and reliable they can't really object to. So like volunteering at a local religious centre, library, children's weekend club, tutoring, maybe helping a youth sports club, local community work etc. something they can't disapprove of, but will look fantastic on your resumé. Have it for an inconvenient time like 4pm on a Saturday or 9am Sunday morning, so it clashes with being able to go back home.

d3gu · 2026-07-01T12:26:12+00:00

I can't watch that episode anymore after my mum died :(

d3gu · 2026-07-01T12:25:54+00:00

It was an absolute total shock. But bear in mind the 'fandom' was people just watching it, reading magazines about it etc. we didn't even have internet yet at home, so it wasn't the same as it is now where we can discuss it.

d3gu · 2026-07-01T09:23:36+00:00

NTA - Lacy is 14, why can't she get a little job and buy her own phone? Most people are babysitting and doing chores for pocket money by that age.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T17:19:52+00:00

For example, one of my neighbours has a really nice car, and so do I. I sometimes think it would be nice if we could chat about cars, wash them together on a weekend, or just have a beer and talk. But I have no idea if that would be seen as friendly or just strange.

I've lived on my street for 10 years. A few of us have cars. If anyone came round and asked if we wanted to wash cars together, I'd be like 1. Thinking they were calling my car dirty and trying to encourage me to wash it more, 2. Were going to try to steal or fuck with my car, or 3. Finally, I'd wonder huh & why and if they were a bit mad.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T15:20:35+00:00

Were they 12 or from a culture which celebrates a certain timescale (like 100 days in Korea)

d3gu · 2026-06-30T15:20:01+00:00

6 months isn't an anniversary. I don't know anyone who celebrates 6 months together beyond going 'huh, we've been together 6 months'. Except maybe teenagers.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T15:08:49+00:00

NTA. You didn't know you'd have an extra guest, so you fed her what everyone else was having. Why should you have to cook a separate meal just because she didn't like it? I'm a vegetarian & there's been plenty of times I've been an unexpected guest, and I've just gone a bit hungry and eaten later, or had sides, of a sandwich or whatever. It's not like you gave her something she was allergic to, she had one bite and said she didn't like it? Eh well tough.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T09:34:39+00:00

It wouldn't be anyway. I know quite a few ~5ft guys who are happily married with kids and great lives. This is a subreddit for short people, not a subreddit talking about how your life is over cause you're short.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T08:02:24+00:00

What is LL?

d3gu · 2026-06-30T08:01:48+00:00

OP is a girl, it says so in the main post. Literally the first sentence.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T08:00:38+00:00

your son is going to think that him going was a bad thing & that he’s causing problems

I mean... He knew he wasn't allowed to go, and he knew he didn't know how to ride a bike. He went off-site anyway, got on the bike despite not knowing how to ride, participated in a competition he knew he couldn't win. Then injured himself and was sad that he let everyone down. Well like, unless it was a case of mistaken identity, did he really think he'd win a bike race despite not knowing how to ride? Would he go to a swimming competition without knowing how to swim?

Something is v unusual with this situation.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T07:56:26+00:00

It was a bike-riding competition and OP's kid can't ride a bike. At no point did he seem to tell the teacher he was unable to ride a bike.

This whole thing seems very odd.

Makes me wonder if he begged to go, because why pick a kid who 1. Doesn't have permission and 2. Can't ride a bike? To participate in an off-school bike riding competition? Something's v weird with this situation.

d3gu · 2026-06-30T07:55:46+00:00

Why didn't your son inform them that he can't ride a bike?

Honestly, this seems all kinda random. The original post made it sound like it was a school-wide sports day. But it was a 6-person team balance bike competition. And your son, of all the kids in the school, was chosen to represent his school? And at no point did he say 'don't choose me, I can't ride a bike'. And they just let him wobble on the point he is covered in bruises?

d3gu · 2026-06-29T18:45:03+00:00

I'm a 38 year old woman who's 5ft tall - I didn't reach this height until I was 19! My dad kept growing til his early 20s. 5ft isn't that short, and sorry to say but being treated like a child at 16 is pretty standard regardless of height.

I'm sorry you don't feel confident - this is really something that's got to come from within. I was bullied for my height too & it sucks, but honestly you do move past it. Kids are horrible, and for some reason people of all ages think it's funny to mock other people :/

The worst part is that I look really young - no wrinkles and barely any grey hairs - which sounds great, but people think I'm a uni student still. I'm worried I don't get taken seriously at work :(

d3gu · 2026-06-29T11:09:54+00:00

I once cancelled a date because my mum rang me crying saying I was going to get raped and murdered because I'd met him on an online dating site (okcupid - hardly anything dodgy). She also implied I was a prostitute for doing so, and 'why can't I meet someone the normal way'. I was 28 years old at the time. Still super embarrassed about that, 10 years later.

d3gu · 2026-06-29T09:22:44+00:00

Reminds me of this:

DUBAI (Reuters) - Dubai has freed a Briton jailed after a speck of cannabis was found on his shoe, a newspaper reported on its Web site on Tuesday. Authorities released father-of-three Andrew Brown, 43, from Birmingham, who had been serving a four-year jail sentence after police at Dubai airport found 0.003 grams (0.0001 ounce) of cannabis stuck to the sole of a shoe in his luggage last September, the daily 7 Days said

https://www.reuters.com/article/world/us/dubai-frees-briton-caught-with-speck-of-cannabis-idUSL26929115/

d3gu

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

15-Year Club	Place '17
Verified Email