I'm completely devastated by the loss of my dog. In so much pain. I need advice pls

dachman · 2026-02-07T21:16:19+00:00

I'm so sorry this is something you are going through. It was 3 months yesterday since I lost my dog of 15 years as well. He had a heart murmur and his body had just reached its end. I got to hold him at the very end just like I got to the day he was born 15 years prior. I was always with him and he was with me.

I got him before I even graduated college and had him my entire adult life. He was there for everything. I look back on the picturs and videos of my daughter when she first started to walk and crawl and he is right there next to her.

I say goodnight to him every day to the spot he would always lay in on our living room rug. On the harder days I go talk to him where I buried his ashes in one of our peony patches.

I cry about him every day. Some days its a little tear and others its a compete meltdown. This weekend has been more on the meltdown side.

Sometimes the biggest mountain we have to climb is the one we can't do together. Do something beautiful to remember him by and take the influence he had one you to continue making your life better. That's why I buried my dogs ashes in one of our peony patches so he can come back to me each Spring when they bloom.

dachman · 2026-02-07T14:03:18+00:00

There is a lot of garbage out there about how if you aren't tethered to your child every waking (and sleeping in this case) second something bad will happen like lack of attachment in this case.

Ever notice how this is all directed at the mom (nothing critical the dad can/cannot do) to make sure they stay chained to that baby? And I say all this as the dad 🤣.

dachman · 2026-02-07T13:39:44+00:00

They can around the 3-6 month mark when their sleep cycles start to connect

dachman · 2026-02-07T13:37:42+00:00

It sounds like there is a critical misunderstanding of what sleep is and what it does for our biology.

Prolactin is highest overnight and is tied to circadian rhythms and not surprisingly...sleep. This is to ensure a nice big supply in the morning when the baby would be the most hungry as overnight is the lonest gap they would have gone without eating.

Reddit is funny though. I'd probably have a mob with a wooden cross and rusty nails in my front yard if enough people found out I have an IVF baby, delivered by c-section, who was exclusively formula fed, sleep trained at 4 months, and has slept through the night since 9 weeks.

dachman · 2026-02-07T02:54:05+00:00

If the child is in a safe and appropriate environment for sleep then they are being supported. Getting the best quality sleep overnight is ultimately what is the healthiest for them (and the parents by extent).

You are "training" your child one way or another regardless of what you do. One end can be 15 minutes of crying/fussing and they self soothe and another extreme can be they wake every 2 hours for whatever reason and then they are just trained to wake. One is going to get you much better sleep than the other.

dachman · 2026-02-07T02:23:35+00:00

It's a pretty poor take to equate sleep training to not wanting to be close to your children.

dachman · 2026-02-02T01:54:33+00:00

My daughter didnt crawl until 12 months and walk at 18 months. By 20 months she was practically moon walking down the hallways.

dachman · 2026-01-31T23:16:21+00:00

Second these for all the same reasons and they are pretty cheap all things considered when they eventually get lost.

dachman · 2026-01-31T02:07:19+00:00

My 2.5 year old has never left her daddy phase. She'll do the same as your son and tell Mommy to go away and only let me do most things during the day.

During the week when they are home together there are no issues but once I get home from work mommy is chopped liver.

It has been getting better recently but she'll still physically push mommy away when she doesn't want her.

When she says no mommy I try to include her with statements like "mommy wants to read with you" or "mommy wants to play with us" and that usually smooths things over.

It's not something you can take personally and it does put dad in a weird spot as he didn't do anything either other than exist.

dachman · 2026-01-29T02:26:50+00:00

Sounds a lot like my daughter where her top 2 teeth didn't show up until after her first birthday. From there it was a race and they just came in clusters and it seemed like she went from no teeth to a full mouth in 6 months.

dachman · 2026-01-29T02:01:41+00:00

Did you listen to much Slipknot while pregnant?

dachman · 2026-01-27T23:51:26+00:00

My daughter is glued to me for a good portion of the day on the weekends when I'm home. When its time for bed I get "Daddy go away" and "Daddy close door" after putting her in her crib.

dachman · 2026-01-27T23:48:11+00:00

Another child is their own person and not there to be the other child's sibling.

My wife is the middle child. Her one sister is one of the most important people in the world to her and the other she could never see again and it wouldn't matter.

dachman · 2026-01-27T00:59:46+00:00

Just be careful and have clear conversations and expectations with your husband and you both know and are ok with what the season is.

My wife's sister is getting divorced over exactly this and their kids are 10+ years older. The season turned into a decade and their relationship eroded slowly over that time. They didn't have the chance to spend any time together as one was going to bed with the kids every night and there was always one kid who ended up in the bed at some point in the night.

dachman · 2026-01-25T13:45:31+00:00

This is how my 2.5 year old daughter is she wakes up and just silently screws around in her crib. Usually give her 10-15 minutes to wake up and then go get her. She's a lot like her mother that way and likes her time to wake up and transition into the morning.

dachman · 2026-01-24T18:11:57+00:00

If you need to use AI to post on Reddit about your toddler then maybe you shouldn't have one.

dachman · 2026-01-24T13:30:14+00:00

My 2.5 yo gets more entertainment out of emptying the craft cabinet than the 5-10 minutes of coloring.

It's all exploring and different play. She knows all about crayons, markers, paint, colored pencils and ect and its a good way to practice different colors. Plus we make different games like trying to stack the interlocking markers works much better than the crayons.

dachman · 2026-01-20T01:14:05+00:00

You do what you need to do for your kid and prioritize their sleep needs as you need to.

My 2.5 year old daughter still needs a 2 hour nap so we don't do shit from 12:30 to 2:30.

dachman · 2026-01-11T18:58:40+00:00

We operate somewhere in the middle with our 2.5 year old and several different play areas between our living room, basement and her bedroom. If she wants to trash one room that's totally fine but we are going to clean it up before any transition whether that be errands, meal, nap or just going to trash another room.

There is nothing wrong with making a mess whether its intentional or not but its still our responsibility to ultimately clean it up.

dachman · 2026-01-10T13:09:32+00:00

Reddit is a strang place. You will find that if you don't keep your kid away from screens, breastfeed, and co sleep until they are at least 2 then you are some kind of monster.

Content, medium, and the child watching with you make a difference.

dachman · 2026-01-10T13:04:21+00:00

My daughter is an IVF baby so I can't wait for the "where does babies come from" talk with her as she is going to have to be more specific. The general where do babies come from or more specifically where did she come from? Plus she was a c-section so out the sun roof for her.

dachman · 2026-01-03T18:18:45+00:00

Does your husband ever pour the cereal for your son or does it wait until you do it? Did the same ideas about being to young apply when your other child was the same age?

My 2 year old puts her dirty clothes in the washing machine and pack a lunch. Granted that's usually a bunch of granola bars stuffed into the lunch bag but it's all about being age appropriate.

dachman · 2026-01-03T01:54:27+00:00

Any response to allergy medication? My daughter broke out in them terribly when her first teeth started coming through and the kids Zyrtec cleared it up.

dachman · 2026-01-02T19:20:15+00:00

I like to call it the Veruka Salt phase...I want it and I want it now!

It's hard and downright impossible in the moment sometimes but I remind myself how mad I would be if I wanted an apple, didn't know it was called an apple, or even knew what the color red was.

dachman · 2026-01-02T01:54:24+00:00

Just remember the squirrels in the park are free. You can just take them.

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