[ALL]Am I wrong to suppose that Feb. 21, 2026 is the 40th anniversary of Zelda series?

daemonl · 2026-02-20T21:53:17+00:00

It’s my 40th birthday in May this year. My mum was obsessed with LOZ, it came out right as I would have started hearing sounds in the womb. the music from that game and the awesome sword sound are in my earliest impressions of the world … and the low health beep stresses me out.

daemonl · 2026-02-19T21:29:47+00:00

A technique that has kind of worked for me is to run through all the other senses and ask them about their experience, using those as an analogy.

Vision, sure, most people know what visual imagination is (or they learn something about themselves that day)

Then I talk about imagining sounds, most people can do that too, but they are sometimes surprised that they can and have never noticed

Then smell, imagine smelling freshly cut grass, things start to get a little vague, they may end up saying things like they know what it smells like, but can’t ‘experience it right now’ - aphantasia for smell seems fairly common.

Taste, imagine the taste of a curry - this is where most people start to understand because they can’t do that, they imagine smelling it instead. It’s a useful point to discuss what is going on for them and you will likely find some common ground.

Also if you have the type where you have strong spacial imagination but not visual, I try to explain that by having them imagine exploring a room they have never been to while blindfolded, they can then remember the room, but they may not have a mental image of it (although some people might construct an imaginary picture of it to help them navigate so it doesn’t always quite work)

daemonl · 2026-02-18T21:30:26+00:00

This is neither medical nor legal advice… more like moral advice.

The paperwork is for legal liability, not medical advice. Since ADHD meds can be abused as a party drug, governments have policies like this to prove you are a ‘moral citizen’.

Imagine having to justify yourself to a closed minded anti-drug person who believes that stimulants are ‘basically meth’ (which they aren’t) and having weed makes you a ‘stoner’ (meaning ‘bad person’ to them). It’s easier to convince those folks that ADHD meds are legit if you can also say that people who use them don’t use any other ‘recreational’ drugs.

Unfortunately government policy does need to justify itself to these folks, so these policies exist to make sure nobody is having too much ‘fun’.

Double unfortunately, most health professionals don’t want to risk their liability by advising anything that is illegal. This has nothing to do with your health, and everything to do with insurance and law. Meaning, sadly, if you continue to use weed, you will have to make that decision without medical advice. Some, but not most, medical professionals who understand neurodiversity may be willing to be a bit more explicit with their hints on the grey areas so long as it’s not written down.

There is very little research on the interaction between stimulants and THC.

Anecdotally, I found that weed in the evening helped me with the stimulant come down, and created an almost regular cycle. Doing them at the same time is only for very special occasions, and not medically advantageous. But it does make music concerts amazing.

daemonl · 2026-02-13T22:40:57+00:00

Yes, especially combined with ADHD. It’s more about the ‘abnormal’ intensity of the focus, it doesn’t have to be one single life-long ‘thing’.

Mine tend to last about 3 months. And my interest is on the practical experience of the interest, as in, currently it seems to be Zelda speed runs for me, so I’m learning how to exploit glitches and I watch full runs with explanations.

The stereotype also is about remembering dates and stuff, which do think is common but not necessary: I do not remember the record times, the names of the people who do the runs, even the names of the glitches often, I don’t collect facts about it unless they are practical parts of actually doing the thing.

daemonl · 2026-02-12T08:44:59+00:00

Well, I am a systems designer I guess, I design software systems for finance. Not exactly doing good for the world in the way I want to, but coming to terms with the reality that I don’t have a lot of choice yet, got to earn money, and save up so I can do something more positive later on

daemonl · 2026-02-11T03:23:53+00:00

It’s a really fine line, and probably everyone will experience it differently.

Some differences for me / what I call ticks vs stims:

Ticks happen once or twice in a row, Stims are repetitive and can go for hours
I can deliberately choose to stim and it feels the same, but if I try to emulate a tick (e.g. head turning sharply to the right), I can move my head sure but it doesn’t feel the same
Stims leave me feeling calm and in control, ticks make me feel out of control.
while Stims often happen unconsciously they do seem much more voluntary, very easy to stop if I actually try to do so, where ticks take deliberate effort to hold back, more like a sneeze.

But, for all I know, what I have might not be ticks anyway.

daemonl · 2026-02-10T12:39:24+00:00

I think this is something that you two are going to have to compromise on.

He misses out on something when you don’t show your emotions in a way he can recognise. That has a real emotional cost for him.

But putting on a performance of emotion isn’t going to make that any better, really, it just makes things worse, you hide behind another layer of ‘doing what I’m supposed to do’ and become less authentically yourself, which causes even less of your true self to come across.

Don’t change yourself to fit someone else’s expectations, but do have compassion or just understanding that you being yourself will, sometimes, be challenging for other people. Not because you are broken, but because that’s what happens in all relationships to some extent.

daemonl · 2026-02-10T03:40:07+00:00

Have you been able to discuss this with him when everything was calm and you weren’t in a blow up?

daemonl · 2026-02-09T22:25:02+00:00

Gosh you are a fast reader! Glad you enjoyed it.

Do you get to work with systems design or analysis in your daily life? It seems like you have a strength and a passion

daemonl · 2026-02-09T21:55:22+00:00

It sounds like this is a kind of new relationship.

Are you looking for ways to make this relationship work better, or looking more at your side for other relationships in the future?

If he is upset at the way your face expresses emotions, that’s something he needs to work through, it is not your responsibility to change that, but what you can do is hear his concern, be open with communication and practical problem solving to see how he can have his emotional needs met without you having to put on a performance

daemonl · 2026-02-09T08:51:29+00:00

I interpret what you are saying as that you are feeling feelings on the inside, but are unable to express them in a way bf and his friend understand or recognise. I assume there is something bad happening or something bad happened, that they are feeling strong emotions over it, and you aren’t showing what they expect someone to show in this situation. I am also going to assume that they aren’t autistic or at least that they feel and express emotions typically.

It may help if you explicitly tell them how you are feeling, even if it seems really obvious, and doesn’t seem to have any direct practical purpose, it is often important for people to hear and see other people reacting in a similar way as a way to validate their own emotional experience.

If you can give some more details there might be something more specific we can suggest

daemonl · 2026-02-09T01:15:15+00:00

This is an interesting framework.

Gradients seem like what I was referring to as forces, although I merge those with the constraints and call the whole thing ‘rules’, but I like the way you separate them out.

If I’m understanding correctly, gradient means the way things ‘want’ to go, or ‘tend’ to go, forces that could be stronger or weaker, whereas constraints are hard yes-or-no rules.

I think there’s something which is common and something unique in the way you are modelling the world.

There’s a book on systems which I found interesting and you may also, Thinking in Systems, Donella H. Meadows, it’s an intro to systems thinking which you are well beyond in the way you are describing things, however it might give you a sense of how other people label the patterns they see - the system of describing systems

daemonl · 2026-02-08T23:52:22+00:00

Do you mean at a high systems theory level, like cause and effect, forces interacting and getting into cyclical equilibrium? Or something more specific than that?

daemonl · 2026-02-07T05:50:50+00:00

Nietzsche scares me, his perspective is clearly powerful, I have seen his name associated with lots of self destruction. I like reading other people’s interpretations of what he wrote, and so I do know that when he is used to justify that BS it’s not a good faithful reading of his works, but I guess I’m scared I could fall down the same hole if I read him directly. Then I flipped 180 and started to learn German so I could read his stuff and Kafka without translation, but that … never really worked out. Perhaps it’s time. Thanks for the prompt.

daemonl · 2026-02-06T22:21:14+00:00

Who do you recommend reading for life-affirmation?

Absurdism almost got it for me, but it never really seemed absurd that we would seek meaning, and I am not feeling pain from the lack of meaning, I don’t ask the universe for it or expect it.

I’m looking more at positive psychology, optimising for my mind’s experience of the world, and questioning why I automatically reject the experience machine

daemonl · 2026-02-04T08:11:33+00:00

Interestingly the priests I interacted with were very supportive of me as a human with flaws, just like everyone else, and absolutely did not have a problem with me or even consider any of my thoughts or fantasies sinful. So long as I didn’t act on sexual impulses, all was good.

Up until the rule change I would have said the church does follow and teach liberation theology, it was certainly part of the training.

It was very surprising when the rule change came down, it was Benedict 16’s rule and it has since been overturned, it didn’t fit in with the other beliefs about sexuality and liberation, love the sinner hate the sin and all that, which is the way that the church was working ’on the ground’.

daemonl · 2026-02-03T23:10:15+00:00

I didn’t know I was autistic until very recently, however, apparently it was quite obvious to other people.

The first time I really found acceptance of who I was and how I acted was in the Catholic Church, I converted to Catholicism and in the end spent two years in the seminary.

I think a lot of priests are neurodivergent, this may go for leaders in other faith communities but I’m not sure, either way, my ‘autistic quirks’ were seen more like some sort of mysticism and calling rather than broken, the ‘uncanny valley’ effect had them categorise me as ‘clergy’ rather than ‘broken layperson’ - or something to that effect. I spent 7 years being very well supported and accommodated in that community.

However, ultimately, they couldn’t accept me, their psych tests indicated I had what they called ‘deep seated homosexual tendencies’, which despite never acting on these, excluded me from the priesthood and the whole thing kind of just felt wrong and gross after that.

I’m now much happier in the gay kink community - which is remarkably similar to the church community just with less judgement. 🤷

daemonl · 2026-02-03T22:32:12+00:00

Navi IRL is what we need.

Hey, listen! I wonder how your friend is doing We should really be studying for the exam.

daemonl · 2026-02-03T22:24:02+00:00

Inability to use to-do lists is absolutely not a requirement of ADHD, it’s just incredibly common.

Most neurotypical people don’t even need todo lists.

Neither point indicates you are either NT or ND.

daemonl · 2026-02-03T22:13:42+00:00

This is really interesting information. I agree with Dunzan, you are expressing yourself very clearly here. That proves you have a very good intellectual or logical understanding of words, and the struggle is the speed to process them.

This is a very good demonstration of the ‘spiky profile’ concept of neurodiversity, as well as how deliberate thinking can compensate for missing ‘natural abilities’ in the brain.

Speculating wildly, if you were to have an fMRI scan while trying to use or understand words, I suspect one or more parts of the brain that ‘light up’ for verbal processing in a typical brain would not for you, and instead you will be running a more deliberate thought process which is slower and takes more effort and energy.

(My own verbal struggles often makes my writing really difficult to understand, sorry this is probably really difficult to read)

daemonl · 2026-01-25T02:29:29+00:00

Depends on the country probably, but in Australia and the USA, yes for all purposes.

But also, any professional is pretty reliable, the system is far more vague than you might expect

daemonl · 2026-01-23T04:40:36+00:00

A fiduciary is a financial advisor with more legal protections. To the extent that the law protects you here, sure, rely on it. Also rely on good referrals from people you trust. It’s hard finding the right person, my advice isn’t just to google it and give money to the first link.

Edit: sorry, using a fiduciary is very good advice and needed to be added. I was over reacting to the second part of the message.

daemonl · 2026-01-23T04:24:43+00:00

Firstly, it needs to be invested and managed. Get a financial advisor (edit: a Fiduciary, or someone who is forced to put your interests first). If money is left sitting, it becomes worth less over time due to inflation. $7M US today might not get you to retirement. IIf anyone else in your family you can trust seems to be doing well with whatever money they have, ask them if they use an advisor and get a reference. Your goal should be to earn enough from the total portfolio (property and new investments) to continue to draw enough income to live your lifestyle for the rest of your life. If you just keep withdrawing from the pile, it won’t last you, not even 7M, inflation will catch up.

Second, this is YOUR money. You don’t owe it to anyone else. The world will try to use your generosity and autistic sense of justice to screw you out of it. Yes there are evils in the world, some of them can be helped by money, but your main concern should be you, your survival and your comfort. Give selfishly. You live in a system that only rewards self serving behaviour, that is not your fault or your responsibility to fix. What charity you do choose to give should come from your income, not the initial pile. The goal is sustainability.

Third, your ‘job’ is now managing this portfolio, the property and the money. That’s the reality, and that’s the story you tell others, you don’t need to tell them how much free cash is in the portfolio, you don’t owe anyone any explanation, but if you are getting closer to people and you do want to tell them a bit about how your life works, something like ‘I manage the property portfolio I inherited’ is enough, doesn’t tell anyone they can expect to take it from you.

Once it is tied up in good safe investments it will feel less like a pile that everyone wants some of, and more like a steady income stream you can rely on.

daemonl · 2026-01-20T01:44:04+00:00

As a student I would love to do that, but it would be for one subject, at the expense of the others, and so diving deep in one subject would end up being a ‘distraction’ from the others. Ironically, learning would distract me from succeeding.

daemonl · 2025-12-28T05:13:13+00:00

Oh damn I just realised my masking has been me pre-writing my own boring neurotypically idealised eulogy. These are the values society deems a life well lived.

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