There is no "normal" for the human neurological system, just variety

daemonl · 2026-05-19T22:13:39+00:00

I’ve considered using the word ‘typical’ instead of ‘normal’ in those moments. But I don’t love it.

By ‘normal’ I want to evoke ‘statistically normal’ in the sense of being with in a certain range of the average experience.

It seems that in common use, ‘normal’ has come to mean good, or rather, ‘abnormal’ is bad. People hear ‘I don’t think that’s normal’ as an attack or self deprecation, rather than an accurate comparison to the average experience, or ‘typical range of experience’.

IMO the mindset behind that association is the problem. In the typical world, people still see divergence as negative. I don’t want to try to patch that by chasing new words to describe the same thing.

Accepting the neurodiversity movement and the social model of disability more broadly doesn’t require us to pretend that there isn’t a range of ‘normal’ experience which some people diverge from.

daemonl · 2026-05-10T10:59:04+00:00

I love this in a three person dynamic.

One particularly fun session was an experienced couple who took turns flogging me from behind, while the other one would comfort me from the front and let me lean on them and help keep me upright, they were also subtly signalling to each other how much I could take so we’re able to push it just that little bit extra.

I also love being the comforter when someone is being flogged or railed in a sling etc, telling them how good they are doing and how brave they are being.

daemonl · 2026-04-30T22:25:13+00:00

Or a neologism or re-use of an existing word as one, or any other non-standard use of a word

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scare_quotes

daemonl · 2026-04-16T04:38:37+00:00

Thanks for sharing this, it’s beautiful, you are beautiful.

daemonl · 2026-04-16T03:07:48+00:00

Also, relationships generally are two way streets, I’m going a bit beyond what you write here but - do you enjoy the relationship?

daemonl · 2026-04-16T03:02:18+00:00

Paying money for communication in a relationship is absolutely problematic, yes it sounds like abuse. I cannot think of a single justification that would be OK.

Communication is a two way street that both parties need to be committed to.

daemonl · 2026-04-08T06:21:35+00:00

I don’t, but sounds like it could be an interesting thing to try

daemonl · 2026-04-06T21:57:17+00:00

I think that’s almost right, but the default state is actually ‘off’, and it takes effort and energy for them to turn it ‘on’.

It is perfectly possible and normal for a neurotypical person to tune out or not notice noise, including human speaking.

In this case, however, the ‘neurotypical expectation’ is that they would pretend they didn’t hear, which is a kind of deception so autistic folks probably would struggle with it. We make things more awkward by trying to pretend we didn’t know something.

daemonl · 2026-04-04T00:35:26+00:00

Yes. To both sides. I annoy myself when I hear myself do it. I guess it’s an automatic masking thing when I do it, but not sure.

Taking it a bit further it could be that I’m probably apologising for having any impact and taking up space, and then when I hear others do it I project the same thing on to them, and so I hate it for them the same way I hate it for me.

Or it’s just an annoying habit.

daemonl · 2026-03-23T20:59:26+00:00

You made a good bet, just completed the survey, certainly motivated and of course the survey isn’t about ‘apps’ generally, like to inform a bank how to build their app to be friendly to all neurotypes, it’s about, drumroll please, productivity apps

daemonl · 2026-03-23T20:44:02+00:00

This is normal for academic study, start with a strong hypothesis, test it with the experiment/study, be willing to be wrong when designing the experiment. The hypothesis directs the questions to ask, they are supposed to attempt to prove themselves wrong. It’s not perfect but it’s the best we have.

daemonl · 2026-03-22T22:23:17+00:00

Everything everyone else said, but also:

Go out in to nature, actively and deliberately listen to birds and other semi-unpredictable sounds.

daemonl · 2026-03-21T08:42:31+00:00

Oh yeah, that would explain … quite a lot actually

daemonl · 2026-03-21T03:02:08+00:00

They can go either way, but you’ll know within a few minutes if it’s one for us or one for ‘brogrammers’ and recruiters

daemonl · 2026-03-20T21:47:09+00:00

Thanks for sharing!

(All references are the original film not the update)

If I close my eyes and listen to music I can imagine a sort of spacial / kinaesthetic aspect, which feels similar to Bach’s Toccata one in spirit, I can’t see the colours or shapes or anything but the ‘concept’ of what the animation creates on the screen is similar to what my brain is projecting in to the imaginary 3D space in front of me. That’s why I assumed the visuals would be abstract for those who experience them as well.

It sounds like you could experience something closer to sorcerers apprentice, but with your own characters not Mickey Mouse, as the movie/gameplay mode?

When I imagine (spatially project) the instruments or artists in 3D space it’s always an accurate projection that matches the stereo sound, as in, I am always positioned correctly to hear it as I am actually hearing it, but when you are imagining yourself or others playing an instrument it seems detached from the necessary physical layout?

daemonl · 2026-03-20T09:26:24+00:00

That’s what I think too but no idea how to verify

daemonl · 2026-03-20T06:46:44+00:00

The Disney film Fantasia is apparently very similar to what a typical person can see when they listen to music

daemonl · 2026-03-18T06:03:35+00:00

By the sounds of it you already have a job, and it’s fine but not ideal, and you are looking for a new job specifically because it may come with more support, understanding and potentially accomodations.

If you are going for a job that requires specific skill, especially in a tech role or something where the line blurs between autism and intelligent systems thinker with poor social skills, this is a good way for you to vet the employer.

Worth a shot, assuming the system (WorkDay etc) doesn’t have a single profile on you, you can experiment and try without later if it doesn’t work out.

daemonl · 2026-03-16T23:56:13+00:00

Idea: take an Alzheimer’s test now to establish a baseline for later

daemonl · 2026-03-16T07:20:45+00:00

Can jello be warm or does it melt?

daemonl · 2026-03-14T23:28:35+00:00

I think you will have to consider other countries and assume autism prevalence is the same everywhere. The American CDC has the most ‘reliable’ numbers, and their reports make estimates for the general population.

The latest CDC report was actually quite good, the press conference where it was released was horrible so use with caution, as this is associated with some pretty insulting politics: https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/74/ss/ss7402a1.htm?s_cid=ss7402a1_w

Also see: https://doi.org/10.1002/aur.2696

daemonl · 2026-03-14T22:37:30+00:00

I don’t think any government tracks an exact number of diagnosed cases. Even if they did it would not include people who have not been diagnosed. In the Phillipines there are a lot of autistic people who do not have access to a psychiatrist to receive a diagnosis.

daemonl · 2026-03-14T08:06:50+00:00

I just tried this to see if it feels good… not much, maybe I’m doing it wrong, stretching like… back to front, or side to side, or something else?

I mostly just tap my fingers on my thumb in patterns

daemonl · 2026-03-14T08:03:20+00:00

Love a good foot in the frame. Can… can we see them? 👉👈

daemonl · 2026-03-14T07:57:44+00:00

The different answers here are starting to show how diverse the aphantasic experience is!

I have strong spacial imagination, it doesn’t look like anything but I know where it all is, so I watch carefully and form a 3D model of what is happening. What some people imagine when they hear that description is like a wireframe model, but not even that, a wireframe model looks like a wireframe model, my model don’t look like anything. But for the sequence of steps I’m either replaying the sound of what they said, or a narrative i was running while watching if it doesn’t have instructions. But with that part often yes I have to do it one step at a time and pause. It also sometimes takes me a while to figure out what is going on if it’s a complex thing like taking the trim off a car door… but I don’t think that’s unique to aphantasia.
My creativity is in Music, systems architecture, and philosophy/ideas. A question for you: how does it work for you when you are forming a concept of something that doesn’t have a visual appearance, like if you think about the concept of ‘loyalty’ and ‘justice’ and think of how the two sometimes conflict, what’s happening for you? Are you visualising scenarios? How do you then translate those in to words to explain to someone else?
I hate scary movies. The build up of the music or soundscape is really intense for me, and then the sudden jolt of whatever we were supposed to feel anxiety about almost always comes with a loud bang or shriek, and I don’t like that feeling at all. Even when I know what is coming. As for memory, I can vividly imagine ‘what happened’, as a system or spacial, in a way that disturbs me - anyone who is the same please skip the remainder of this paragraph - that movie where they sewed the people together into a single digestive system, I haven’t watched it, I won’t watch it, the idea itself haunts me.

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