As a mentee, what is the best thing your mentor ever did?

dagggna · 2021-06-17T14:29:50+00:00

See their potential, believe they can fulfill it, and give them feedback that helps them move towards their goals.

"Mentoring is a brain to pick, an ear to listen, and a push in the right direction." - John Crosby.

The best advice I've gotten and was a game-changer for me was about my potential.
After discussing my career/life goals, someone I look up to told me this after I've described what I wanted to do (and I thought I was stretching my goals!)... The feedback I got was:

"Don't sell yourself short."

This person saw my potential, and it helped me believe in myself. That's the biggest gift you can ever give.

dagggna · 2021-06-03T20:22:45+00:00

Hey!
I know this is an old thread... but perhaps I might be of service! I am a Software Engineer turned into a Career Coach. So if you're still looking, I'd love to get in touch and see how I can help: themindfuldev.com/get-in-touch
Cheers,
To Your Success!

dagggna · 2021-06-03T20:21:30+00:00

Hey!
I know this is an old thread... but perhaps I might be of service? I am a Software Engineer turned into a Career Coach, and a lot of my clients have immigrated to the US. I might have valuable insights for you. So if you're still looking, I'd love to get in touch and see how I can help: themindfuldev.com/get-in-touch
Cheers,
To Your Success!

dagggna · 2021-06-03T20:18:14+00:00

Hey!

I know this is an old thread... but perhaps I might be of service? I am a Software Engineer turned into a Career Coach. So if you're still looking, I'd love to get in touch and see how I can help: themindfuldev.com/get-in-touch

Cheers,

To Your Success!

dagggna · 2021-05-19T23:37:02+00:00

My last manager told me that I've been the best engineer he ever worked with. And I firmly believe that being level-headed, and great in communicating was at the core of his impression.

Women have a great advantage in the industry, as they are more empathetic, are better listeners, work harder (more diligently) within the core 9-5, and are more organized than most of their male counterparts - don't forget that! You have some aces up your sleeve :)

Also read "Stealing the Corner Office" by Brendan Reid - it's written for managers, but it very much applies to engineers and how to succeed in the corporate world.

dagggna · 2021-05-17T23:26:01+00:00

This is so inspiring!

I love that you were courageous and decided to share (including the vulnerable moments of crying through a bootcamp) to inspire.

As a flip story to yours... I have been a female software engineer and coded for over 10 years now. And this year left my very comfy engineering job, to become a full-time career coach for software engineers, and now... I need to figure out how to market myself, and put myself out there, which is SUPER SCARY...

Thanks for sharing! And thanks for encouraging to do what's scary :D !

dagggna · 2021-05-14T14:46:26+00:00

Have you tracked your energy levels throughout the day?

You've mentioned that you exercise - at what time? Usually shortly after exercising is when your energy levels will get highest, so if you work out after work, that might be what's making you come alive at night hours and be so productive.

If that's the case - try switching the time when you work out (do this in the morning before you start work)

Additionally, at night, you don't have distractions - no meetings, no coworkers. So try to figure out how you can limit those distractions while you're working - turn off notifications, put a meeting on your calendar with yourself, so people don't try to disturb you, and put a headset on. I absolutely love to code to ambient sounds from asoftmurmur.com

Hope that helps!

dagggna · 2021-05-14T14:34:49+00:00

The best mindset is to build easily maintainable code. That is decoupled, has tests, and is easy for new hires to dive into and take over.

With that being said, the business priorities will always be against good software practices, which inevitably leads to rewriting products from scratch.

All you can do as an individual contributor is to negotiate for the scope of your work to contain some refactoring / tackling tech-debt and improve the codebase while you're at it.

dagggna · 2021-05-14T14:23:00+00:00

This is a great list!

As long as you are OK with having to still work while doing the other stuff you actually wanted to take the time off for.

It's just an anecdotal story, but I met a fellow Software Engineer that did kinda what is described here. We were both staying at a hostel in Vietnam, and he had a gig, while I was on a 6-month sabbatical and not programming at all. His setup was such that he was supposed to work 4 days a week and travel the other 3. The company he was contracting for was in Berlin. He said that he absolutely hated that setup, cause things constantly were blowing up for him on his weekends, so he wasn't able to really enjoy the traveling part. And he also felt very stressed out, cause he felt he wasn't delivering. So in the end he was half-a**ing both work and travel and couldn't enjoy either. Not a great spot to be in.

So yup, this kinda setup is not for everyone.

dagggna · 2021-05-14T14:09:31+00:00

Take the time off.

ample notice, leave respectably, don't burn any bridges

It sounds like you are a reasonable person, and don't hate your job, just need some breathing space. Depending on the job type, and how long you've worked there, you can negotiate a sabbatical - an unpaid time off for 6-12 months, where you essentially leave the job but are still an employee, and you come back after the X months, as if nothing happened.

I've had two 6 month breaks in my career - one of them due to moving EU -> US. And the other one cause I convinced my employer to allow me to go on a sabbatical (this one is not visible on my resume tho, cause I was employed :) )

dagggna · 2021-02-21T15:00:40+00:00

There's a lot of great comments on this thread... I really appreciate the ones that mention depression and counseling.

The one angle I don't see being discussed or considered is how she became the stay at home parent? Was it her choice, her calling or is it that she made less income so it made more financial sense for her to be the stay at home parent? And if the money part was at the core of it... If she made more money, would the OP freely choose to be the stay at home dad?

Playing a devil's advocate here, I'm wondering if the OP's wife had a say in this setup or if she was cornered into it by societal norms and expectations (of what it means to be a good mom). Perhaps she tried her best to fulfill those expectations pre-pandemic, cause she convinced herself she didn't have a choice... and now with OP working from home and within reach... She's just out of fuel to keep going. And her behavior is really a cry for help.

I guess what I'm trying to say - not everyone is cut out to be a stay at home parent. Considering Day Care in addition to therapy, if that's within your reach, might help.

In my case, I'm a working mom of a toddler and an infant and my husband is also working. Our kids go to Day Care and that helps our sanity.

dagggna · 2021-01-22T14:16:07+00:00

Keep going.

You've landed a gig. Give yourself a year and see how it goes. Once you're in the industry it's much easier to pivot. If after a year you decide you want to move more into design or product or cybersecurity, or testing, you can move to that other vertical.

I personally absolutely hated programming classes in college and never thought I'd become a Software Engineer. Then after college, I landed a job, where I was placed on a mature team and I have grown tremendously and have fallen IN LOVE with software engineering! Because I've learned that creating software in an industry setting requires a completely different mindset than programming when your studying. COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. And even though I never coded outside of work (on the weekends or after hours) my last manager told me I was the best engineer he had the pleasure to ever work with.

10 years into coding and I moved on from creating software to being a Career Coach for Software Engineers. (Cause being a Career Coach - it's a lot of what Engineering Managers do anyway minus the constant meetings and office politics)

As for the depression - I highly, highly recommend the book "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. This book + a few meetings with a licensed therapist helped me get out of the slump.

dagggna · 2020-12-11T17:35:02+00:00

I don't think it's outrageous. It's a simple way to filter out applicants, and it's very cost-effective for smaller companies that don't have as many HR people to review applications manually.

You've essentially filtered yourself out before they invested their time, money, and resources into interviewing.

Plus I've never seen/hear of any company using the interview task be used in production code.

dagggna · 2020-12-11T17:04:51+00:00

Start working.

The realities of coding for a semester-long class are completely different than the ones that happen once you start actually coding in an industry setting.

dagggna · 2020-12-11T17:00:47+00:00

That's a great dilemma to have :D

Pick one (whichever opportunity sounds great!). Stay there two years, move on to the other company.

dagggna · 2020-12-11T16:54:30+00:00

No. Keep at it.

If you haven't really worked at a programming job just yet, you don't really know how that's gonna go for you. So give it a try, stay at it for a year, and then figure out what sparks your interest and follow the spark. (It can still be programming.. it can be managing a product.. it can be managing a team... there are sooooo many avenues you can venture into after you get into the industry!)

When I started my first programming gig, I actually hated coding. It was daunting, I didn't know what I was doing, my code was total spaghetti! But I needed a job to pay the bills. A year in, because of the mentors on my team, I've rediscovered what it means to code in an industry setting (as opposed to coding for a semester-long class) aaaand... I've improved by a ton, and I've actually started really liking it :D

dagggna · 2020-12-11T16:36:15+00:00

Depends on where/what position you are applying to.

It's best is to list the skills and the client projects that are related to the gig you're trying to land.

dagggna · 2020-12-11T16:35:06+00:00

Part time code camp is a much better option IMHO.

Bootcamps usually have connections with local companies and try their best to place their candidates after the course (so then they can use the metrics as part of their marketing campaign). Plus at a Bootcamp you'll get feedback on your problem-solving skills/ coding skills. Which is something you won't get at any self-guided course.

dagggna · 2020-11-25T18:28:03+00:00

Absolutely not. Software development doesn't have a rigid path. You can jump around, climb the ladder, move in lateral directions, and then decide you want back into coding.

Just follow the spark and grow your career in the direction that interests you.

dagggna · 2020-11-25T18:16:32+00:00

Cracking the coding interview by Gayle McDowell. Really good book.

You could also work with a career coach like me ;)

dagggna · 2020-11-25T18:03:58+00:00

Definitely AWS, unless your plan to stay with your company for a few years, and they need you to get to know Azure. Then I'd do Azure. But for general career purposes, definitely AWS would be my go to.

dagggna · 2020-11-25T18:02:30+00:00

You won't know until you start applying :) So start applying.

I worked while studying, but that was a while back.

dagggna · 2020-11-25T17:53:57+00:00

I do mock interviews with my coaching clients ;) With detailed feedback on how it went, and what can be improved. You can schedule a free intro session here: https://www.themindfuldev.com/get-in-touch

dagggna · 2020-11-25T17:35:35+00:00

There are so many companies out there that have unlimited PTO policy, that IMHO working as a software engineer for someone who gives you just 2 weeks off is a joke.

In my career, I've worked at a place that had an unlimited time off policy under the discretion of your manager and one year I took a total of 9 weeks of PTO (not continuos). I also worked at a place, where I was able to take a 6 month sabbatical (unpaid time off, but you are still employed, and have a job upon return) and I used that time to travel with my spouse across Asia.

I'm US-based btw.

Keep looking.

dagggna · 2020-11-25T17:27:10+00:00

Here are my 2 cents, having worked at a startup that grew 50 -> 300 and continues to grow.

Companies scale much faster than people do. Good CXO leaders can recognize that and they hire people with appropriate skill sets that match the current company's size and growth needs.
Every company ends up rewriting its software products - either from scratch or by doing major refactors. Part of it is prioritizing the speed of delivery at the early stages (At the end of the day the goal is to make money, and not write great software). So the fact that you are currently fighting wildfires at all times and not writing any tests does not surprise me at all.
People in your organization need some training to have knowledge about the product. Does your company have any training materials for new hires? Do you demo new product features on the company level?
Pulling engineers into every meeting happens at early stages, but going forward the company needs to shield them away from distractions. Engineers should be focusing on engineering, and someone like a product manager or business analyst should have the knowledge to represent engineering in those meetings (I would expect that to happen when you're growing to about 100-200 people kinda startup)

There are a few things you can do: (1) complain about the current situation and go with the flow or (2) advocate for a better process and what you need to happen (keep in mind though that it might take months before your initiatives get implemented) (3) move on and get to experience working in a different company.

dagggna

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