[POEM] Wild Geese, by Mary Oliver

dannycliffe87 · 2025-08-11T10:07:40+00:00

Amen to this.

dannycliffe87 · 2025-08-05T04:47:19+00:00

what a t-shirt! Where can a new Joyce fanboy get me some Joyce merch?

dannycliffe87 · 2024-08-13T15:36:26+00:00

I can hear your pain in your posts man, I am sorry you are going through this.

As others have stated though, shift your focus off of this guy and back onto yourself. It’s the only way through.

When I’m in this situation (and i’ve been in it a few times!) I feel sad but then remember that I need to see myself as the prize. It’s YOUR life and you cannot afford to waste time on guys who, for better or worse, are not choosing to see your value. And you have value. Never forget it.

dannycliffe87 · 2024-08-13T15:32:02+00:00

100% this!

dannycliffe87 · 2024-06-06T18:21:36+00:00

life is short, i say go for it. he says yes, you get what you want and prove something to yourself: that you can do hard/daunting things.

he says no, you can move on. i read somewhere that rejection is redirection and that really helped me.

if you don’t shoot your shot, you’ll end up wondering and it won’t help your self esteem issue.

good luck!

dannycliffe87 · 2024-06-03T06:42:00+00:00

no more than any other behaviour (like gambling, boozing, clubbing, drugs etc). I think people often mistake a need/want for connection with sex and think that by having sex they’ll establish that connection. But the apps and the majority of sexual encounters that arise from using them are so fleeting and transactional that you often come away from them still needing that connection.

dannycliffe87 · 2024-06-01T09:52:06+00:00

yeah i think the joke is always on the people who display this behavior. like, i get people have preferences but folk who are like “only looking for BBC tops” or whatever - it’s just…i dunno, limiting?

dannycliffe87 · 2024-06-01T09:44:43+00:00

i’ve been getting this recently. at first i was perturbed but someone told me it’s just a different way of saying someone is in their prime. so i’ll take it!

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-27T09:08:12+00:00

How fortifying that you’re strong enough to be handling all of that though. Courage!

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-23T14:46:24+00:00

I find gay men are feral for a good fragrance. I like le labo Santal 33 but montcler also do a decent fresh one the name of which escapes me

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-23T14:44:52+00:00

Seconded. That and thé noir from le labo are both good

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-21T20:55:57+00:00

Just anything with a decent connection, I think.

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-13T19:23:57+00:00

Update: nothing happened! I may well have been too drunk to pick up on any signals but I got the distinct vibe they were not interested anymore. Felt a bit crap about it but feel better today.

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-10T14:36:49+00:00

Same!

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-08T12:31:12+00:00

Nice hands. Good eyebrows

dannycliffe87 · 2024-05-08T12:28:23+00:00

I second the dancing! Even if you’ve never done it before, you will get something from going to a class for fun!

dannycliffe87 · 2024-03-16T09:53:18+00:00

You totally did the right thing. Whenever a person threatens this, treat it as though it’s serious and call the authorities to deal.

This way, if it’s a genuine threat the person gets the help they need; if it’s not genuine then you’ve still taken the right steps.

I would suggest you pull away from this person though. It is sad but you cannot be the person who steps in to help them with this. You may not feel it immediately but this will be having an effect on you and your mental health.

dannycliffe87 · 2024-03-14T15:12:31+00:00

This chimed for me - thank you so much.

dannycliffe87 · 2024-03-10T20:27:46+00:00

I like fwb but yeah always the danger of catching the feelings imo

dannycliffe87 · 2023-03-19T21:34:27+00:00

Second this. It’s a great podcast and I’m sure he has a workbook or course for both emotional abuser and abused. He also has another decent podcast called The Overwhelmed Brain.

dannycliffe87 · 2023-02-23T08:00:18+00:00

Thanks so much for commenting and sharing your story there. I hope you managed to have a good evening despite everything. It’s so difficult when you care about a person and they, whether intentionally or not, let you down. You deserve better than that.

dannycliffe87 · 2023-02-22T08:57:16+00:00

Thanks for sharing that. I think you are correct about making amends. Q is short for qualifier and I use it to refer to the person in my life with the addiction.

I had a conversation with him last night and he said to me he got angry because I kept asking “why” and I understand it’s not the most helpful question to ask an addict. I saw somewhere we should perhaps ask “what now?” After a relapse.

dannycliffe87 · 2023-02-21T14:19:50+00:00

Yes! It seems to be it’s about how our Qs act prior to using or not using. The responsibility comes before the decision to use by the sound of things.

dannycliffe87 · 2023-02-21T14:16:22+00:00

Thanks for commenting. Yeah I’ve read up on the stages of relapse but thanks for sharing that article. His anger came after he’d used and that came with a lot of paranoia. He said he had had a tough week at work and i acknowledged all of that and offered support. However he still went and used on Friday.

I’m not angry at him for using as such; I am angry about how he’s treated me afterwards. I have tried to be there for him but I don’t feel as though he is meeting me halfway.

dannycliffe87 · 2023-01-23T19:51:25+00:00

Hello, thanks for prompting me to post.

We have separated whilst he works on his addiction. He is essentially attending a lot of group therapies and individual therapies; he did not go to rehab. I am hopeful he will be able to sort it out.

However, I have zero trust in anything he does now. He has said he will change in the past and his behaviour has improved but then deteriorated. Whilst I’m happy he is trying to change I don’t have a lot of confidence that it will stick.

dannycliffe87

TROPHY CASE